Knowledge speaks...but...

Hi Mom,
As I teach in Penticton this week, this quote on a sign in Kelowna gives me something to think about.
Love you.
Crystal
PS: Gwen may not care about the jam...but I've got a freezer full of fruit and can hardly wait for you to get here! ;)

You said this is what you wanted...

Hi Mom,

Living intentionally included going out for dinner with Linda lastnight and to the salsa dance. We had a great visit! We planned our birthday party in December, since we're both born in December...and we've got some fabulous ideas of how to celebrate!!! I can hardly wait!

Linda always has some amazingly simply yet profound wisdom, a lot like you do, and she said something in our conversation that really struck me...
She said something about how we often get what we say we want...and therefore, really can't complain.

She's right.

This is something you would say too, Mom.

My life is exactly how I created it. This is what I said I wanted. So, I cannot complain!

I knew it was going to be a lot of work...and it is! (Maybe a little....OK a LOT...more than I expected...but I wouldn't trade this for anything!)

Today, I pulled up all the old carpet on the lower deck and then, thanks to some wonderful and much appreciated help, we've got it scraped and prep'd to put the new carpet down! Yay!! I just need to go buy some more floor-leveler compound to fill some cracks and we're ready to go!




While I was outside today, I took a wander around the jungle and LOOK what I found!



I am surrounded by the wonders of the universe through nature and the most wonderful friends anyone could ever hope to have.

Love you,
Crystal

10 Things...

10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy

1. Savour everyday moments
2. Avoid comparisons
3. Put money low on the list
4. Have meaningful goals
5. Take initiative at work
6. Make friends, treasure family
7. Smile even when you don't feel like it
8. Say thank you like you mean it
9. Get out and exercise
10. Give your time to help others

(YES Magazine)

Mom, you didn't write this, but you could have. It's just how you live and what you instilled in us.

Thank you.

Another thing you somehow instilled in me...that little stubborn streak that sometimes gets in my way and sometimes helps me get where I want to go.

As I ran 15km yesterday and was out on my bike today, I could feel it surfacing...and I'm thankful for it. So very thankful.

When I'm riding my bike, I'm thinking a million different thoughts at times...and nothing at all, other times. Often, you come to mind, Mom and help me through the tough parts and especially when I've got a good tailwind. My secret boyfriend, Lance Armstrong also comes to mind, especially when I'm going up hills. It's a bit silly, but it works.

And right now, I'm going through every scenario in my mind, mentally preparing for the race coming up. I am also spending time visualizing the finish line smiling and strong. I can hardly wait to get there!! Visualization has been my secret strength, and probably as important as getting out there and training. We both know I've not done quite enough training...so I better visualize hard the next few weeks!

Maybe YOU could do some visualizing too! ;)

Love you.
Thank you for these 10 things you've instilled in us and a million more!
Crystal

More than you'll ever know.

Hi Mom,
Sorry I didn't get to write yesterday!

It was a busy day!

My first guests (in Parisio Suerte) left mid-day. The new fridge arrived for the suite as well. Anne also came over to collect the last items she had in storage here. We spent a couple hours bringing all her stuff (and she has a LOT of stuff!) upstairs from the lower level storage room and loading it into the U-haul.

Yes...a U-haul! Anne and her brother are moving all her stuff from here and her condo, loading and packing it themselves (with only a few helpers)!!!

She is one tough lady!

We had a break and I made blueberry muffins for Anne and her brother Marty. It was a really nice visit.

I went to see her in the afternoon, thinking that she had lots of help b/c she mentioned that she had lots of helpers. But things don't always work out sometimes and the helpers didn't show or didn't work out...except for the realtor, Joel, who is truly one amazing guy, who helped them all day. When I arrived, he had to go, so I called a friend and together, the four of us loaded for over 2-3 hours, the last of Anne's things.

When I hugged her goodbye, as they U-haul, van and trailer were loaded to the max, I said, "love you Anne. You know, your home is always your home here." She said, "Love you too. More than you'll ever know."

It's funny how people come and go in our lives and, often, we love them more than they'll ever know.

Why is that? Shouldn't they know? Shouldn't we tell them? What kind of difference would it make if they knew?

In our family - you made sure we always knew.

Mom, you made sure we knew we were loved...and so much more!

You made sure we knew and felt so cared for. Protected. Free to become who we were meant to be. You made each of us feel so very special (which is a miracle in itself when you have 10 kinds to take care of!). You made (and continue to make each of us feel so amazing in our own way. Never compared. Always adored. Treasured. Talented. But never too cool to be but in our place when we needed to be.

Thank you for making sure we always knew...

I hope that you know how much you are loved....even though it probably is more than you will ever, ever know.

Love you,
Crystal

An introduction to yourself.

I read a great quote by Jim Kouzes that said, "Adversity introduces us to ourselves."

If this is true, then, yesterday out on the Ironman bike route, I momentarily met myself. Most of the ride was fabulous. Sunny. Tailwinds. Rolling hills. Even up Richter Pass, I felt fabulous. But then, during the 4th hour, with a HUGE headwind, the darkest rainclouds looming ahead and lightening striking in the distance, I became totally silent. On the outside. But inside, the conversation going on was not quiet.

Did I mention the wind!?

And then it started to rain.

Inside, I contemplated options - hitch a ride if the rain gets worse. Wait out the rain and lightening if it doesn't stop. And what about the wind. What happens if it's even worse as we turn right at the Keremeos Fruit Stand with 45km still to go? And that 7km Yellow Lake climb after Keremeos isn't something to forget about either.

I thought about my lack of training. Wondered why I was even doing this. I went on and on, in my head, about the upcoming race, the self-doubt, the fatigue...

All this doubt and confusion is definitely part of "me" and we had a lengthy conversation in the rain and headwinds with tired legs...

It reminded me of the Ironman race I did in Australia...where the same things were running through my mind. This photo taken there says it all. It was one of the lowest, most difficult moments I've ever had in 7 IM races thus far. I'm grateful that Amelie snapped this photo b/c it reminds me of who I am...the challenges that I've gone through and how life doesn't always come easy.

And that silver lining of those deep, dark moments....the gift that we receive when going through them...I love those moments too.

Yesterday, just like in that race, somewhere out there on the road, we meet our darker selves...and also our inner light...

Yesterday, I also met that other part of "me"...that blinding inner light that I've come to actually embrace and acknowledge without (so much) apology.


(Just like these moments in the Hawaii Ironman race a couple years ago.... moments of pure joy...that really say, "I've been to hell today...it's 41 degrees Celsius, there have been headwinds that never ended...and I'm back! Let's get the party started! It's time to celebrate!)

FYI: celebrate = yay...we get to get off the bike and start that 42.2km marathon!

This other part of me reminds myself of where I've come from...who I really am at my center...it helps me to discover what's possible...what I'm capable of...what I'm made of...hope, commitment, conviction, strength, humility, courage...

And that's the way I think it works...adversity introduces us to all aspects of ourselves - the good, the bad, and everything in between. And without the worry, fear and doubt, we wouldn't get to know the inner confidence and courage that we all hold within us!

My friend Pete wrote me a poem when he left to go back to England in 2001, as I was training for my first race. This is an excerpt from it. It's true, not only in training for an Ironman race, but it's also a metaphor for life, in general.

"Somewhere out there, on the road, our lives will change forever. We will have suffered more completely...yet triumphed more greatly...than we ever dreamed possible."

Without suffering or challenges, I don't think there's any triumph or celebration!

Mom, thanks for the tailwinds that were present for parts of the ride yesterday...and for the little lessons that I learned in the headwinds.
You are, as always, the wind beneath my wings.
Love you,
Crystal

"If you build it...they will come."

Welcome to Paraiso Suerte!
It means Fortunate Paradise!



This is going to be the name of the vacation rental in the lower level.

I'll take more photos after the first guests leave in 2 days!!! It's not really finished yet...but I think they will come!

Field of Dreams is one of my favourite movies and the line "If you build it, they will come." has become a mantra for me over my lifetime thus far.












I hope and pray that they will come...and that this will all work out. I have faith that I'm being called here and that this is where I'm supposed to be.

Mom - your faith and conviction remind and teach me what I need to do and be to create what I envision.

Thank you!
I love you!
I'll call you tomorrow after biking the Ironman route!
Pray for tailwinds!
Love crystal

It's all coming together!

Mom,
I found it! Exactly what I was looking for!
This coffee table is from Mexico. It's rustic, heavy, sooooo cool and exactly what I was looking for!
I thought you'd like it!
The store also had those Mexican chairs....you know...the rounded ones with the leather and wood...like we had on the farm. Next month, I'm going to get a few of those for the deck! You're going to LOVE it!
Love you,
Crystal
PS I have my fist customers TONIGHT!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It goes by so quickly!

Yes...time goes by so fast!
Mom, here are a couple photos from the trip to Guatemala a few months ago with some old photos of when the grand-kids were young! Wow!! How quickly time passes!

























It makes me think about this year...the time has gone by so quickly!

There's only 26 days until the Ironman.
21 weekends until the end of the year.
20 weeks until everyone is home for Christmas and your birthday!
12 weeks until you come and visit!!
and never enough time to accomplish all that I plan to in a year, month or even a day...

Thinking of how time passes so quickly reminds me of something you do daily to maximize your time...you quietly focus on what ever it is that you are doing until it's done.

It's that simple.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus! Right HERE. Until it's done.

Today, was a simply extraordinary day. It was a near-perfect day for many reasons.

One of the great parts of my day was spent picking weeds in the garden (at the old house). I found myself jumping from this area to that area, back and forth, enjoying myself but a little unfocused. When I realized that I was sort of just jumping around, picking a weed here, a weed there, etc. I stopped. I stopped and focused in just where I was. Slowly. Focusing. Until it was done.

Thank you for the subtle ways you come to my mind Mom and for always inspiring me to be a little "more" every day...helping me to become a little more than I was when I woke up this morning.

I love you.
Crystal

Mom!

Mom, there are angels everywhere...often disguised as friends! The couches have magically been taken away!
What do you think (minus the coffee table - it's temporary)?
Love you.
Love my friends!
Crystal

It really is actually a choice.

Hi Mom,
Sorry I missed writing you yesterday!
In the past couple of days, I've been working on the house and getting the vacation rental organized. I'm excited about all of this but it's getting tiring, Mom. Not physically...but mentally and emotionally. I'm doing OK with the stress of the house not selling but, to be honest, it is wearing on me. I know life isn't always easy, and I was prepared for things to take time. I have savings and I'm fine. But it's all the other little things..like having to water the grass everywhere (old house, new house, and the fruit trees, etc)...or still having to move a few boxes and items from this house or that house...or getting the big old couches out of the new house...or...or...or....!
Look at this couch...it'll take a half-ton truck to move it all! I wish I had been more firm when I moved in b/c there's at least 2-3 loads of stuff that was left here that isn't mine and that I don't want. (Note to self for next time!)

But at the same time, I look around and the stuff I've collected and bought...and really have faith that my quirky style and what I can create down here is going to be a welcomed retreat for people and the vacation rental will be amazing!

I got these leather couches on castanet (classified section on the internet for Kelowna)...and YES...it really is a bean-bag chair! How cool is that...and what about this table!!

...apparently, I'm bigger than I thought! :)


This is my favourite picture!


I've always wanted a B&B and in a way, this is sort of like that.
Except that I don't have to cook...which is good...b/c my omelets look like scrambled eggs. If I could just have a "Bed and Bake" instead of a Bed and Breakfast...that would be OK! I can bake like there's no tomorrow...I definitely got that from you, Mom!

I love you, Mom!
Can't wait for you to come out! You're going to love the house!!
Miss you.
Hi to Don.
Love Crystal

They called them crazy...

Lately, I've been listening and looking for new music to run to and I came across this country song that just might be the best country song I've ever heard in the last while.

Love Like Crazy - by Lee Brice

They called them crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yea that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth,
and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy
They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get to old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now

Aint that crazy?

Mom, this song reminds me of you, because I'm sure that the same was said of you and dad when you were young...
- starting a family of 10 kids
- and a big business
- and then when you moved 5 of the kids into Regina on your own
- or when you pulled all of us out of school to go down to Mexico in a motor home for months
- or a million other moments when you attempted and did what others might of thought as crazy....

You inspire me every day Mom. Just thinking of you makes me feel stronger. When "they call me crazy", I just think of you and instantly feel more confident because, I know, and I feel that you're right there....shaking your head, smiling, and deep-down, believing in me.

Thank you for always believing in me, and even when you called me crazy, I know that you have been secretly proud (at least I think so) of me and supporting me with your thoughts and prayers.

Right now, as I'm surrounded by my furniture that we moved to the new house yesterday...I feel this crazy little feeling of excitement and enthusiasm. Yes, my house still needs to sell...and it will have to sell without my furniture in it b/c I want to start living my life here in the new house, getting settled...creating my home...

I can't think of all the times I've been called me crazy in my life...

Most of the time they were right.

- How could I quit my job with the land development company (when we were broke) in 1996 b/c it wasn't fulfilling and I wanted to find something more rewarding? That was crazy! It was nice of the company to hire me back at a huge pay increase...until I quit a second time b/c it really wasn't fulfilling and I wanted to find my calling! I learned there that no amount of money is enough to make me do something that I'm not inspired to do. (A very great life-lesson!)
- How on earth could the BDC hire me with no banking experience (I think they were crazy!). It was a great fit for a while, until it wasn't any more...and then we drove by the hostel that was for sale. Now that, that was crazy! Learning business skills at the BDC was the missing piece for me in my own business success. I'm forever grateful for the BDC and that opportunity.
- Biking across the country with Carla and Gwen. Yeah, that was crazy...but those 7906km taught us more than we could possibly have imagined!

It makes me smile to daydream and think of all the times that people thought we were crazy! Sometimes, I've done those crazy things on my own...but the more I think about it, it was always an adventure with someone else. And that's probably the secret....if we have someone (a friend, partner, sister) to attempt those crazy ideas with...it's not so crazy...and if it is...and other people are calling us crazy, it doesn't matter b/c we have eachother...and it doesn't feel crazy, when you are with another.

All of these experiences and countless more have made us who we are.
And isn't that amazing! Aint that crazy!
Mom, thank you for not listening when they called you crazy...and thank you for encouraging me when they call me crazy!

I love you, Mom!!
Can't wait to hear how the weekend went!
Love Crystal
PS How 'bout those Riders!!!

Back On Higher Ground

Mom, your girl's back!!

On the mend, with my neck 75% better...thanks to caring friends, family and chiropractors who's gifts lay in their hands. I'm also a little humbled and quieted by the fact that life can truly change on a dime...with even just an odd sleep that misaligned my neck, which put me out for just a couple of days...virtually nothing compared to the impact that a serious illness or accident would have on someone.

I am grateful.

This morning I was listening to a great song by Van Morrison called Whenever God Shines His Light. It's a totally up-beat wonderful song, very fitting for this morning as I wake up and feel so fortunate in so many ways.

Whenever God Shines His Light

Whenever God shines his light on me
Opens up my eyes so I can see
When I look up in the darkest night
I know everything's going to be alright
In deep confusion, in great despair
When I reach out for him he is there
When I am lonely as I can be
I know that God shines his light on me
Reach out for him, he'll be there
With him your troubles you can share
If you live the life you love
You get the blessing from above
He heals the sick and heals the lame
Says you can do it too in Jesus name

He'll lift you up and turn you around
And put your feet back on higher ground

Reach out for him, he'll be there
With him your troubles you can share
You can use his higher power
In every day and any hour
He heals the sick and heals the lame
Says you can do it too in Jesus name

He'll lift you up and turn you around
And put your feet back on higher ground.

Gwen said to me a couple days ago, when she came over to give me some stuff for my neck, that "I know it feels like the end of the world...but it's really not. In a few days, you'll fee much better."

She was right. It did (temporarily) feel like the end of the world...when I couldn't sit up without holding my head or lay down without bracing my neck...but it wasn't the end of the world. And in just a few days...I do feel much better. Almost back to myself. Back on higer ground.

This year has been a wonderful year of connecting with you here, Mom. A wonderful year to learn and think about all your wisdom and life-lessons that you've taught us over the years.

One thing I'm constantly being reminded of are 3 simple lessons:
1. To have patience.
2. To have faith.
3. To let go of control in my life.

Learning these things has been so calming (although I don't think I'm done learning these things, by any stretch, yet), but it's been so amazing to let go, to just have faith that everything will work out and to have patience.

A friend said that I'm so different than I was a year ago. So much more calm. I think I am.

More calm. More confident. More at peace. More fulfilled. And definitely less interested in keeping up with what I used to "think" I should be or do.

It does feel so good to be back...with my feet (and neck) on higher ground.

Mumsy, I love you.
Have a wonderful weekend with everyone!!!!
Love Crystal

Life really is so very simple!

I found this on the internet the other day and loved it!

How simple life is...

...a little flow chart of choices; nothing complicated; that lead to certain results; and if you're happy (or not) with those results, either keep doing what you're doing or change it.

Life can be so simple.
Life can be so gloriously uncomplicated.
And happiness is really just a breath away.

Tonight, I feel very happy and content. My neck seems to be getting better after two chiro apt's today, Gwen's massage lastnight, extra-strength advil and other stuff Gwen gave me and a good shot of whiskey.
(Mom, I'm kidding about the whiskey!)

But I'm serious about needing my momma the past day and it was so wonderful to speak with you today!

I love you very much!
Thank you for showing me that life is so very simple...or that it can be...and for beign there when I need you!
Love Crystal

Trust.

When there is nothing else I can do...I just have to trust.

Trust life.
Trust that things happen for a reason in the bigger picture.
Trust that I have enough time.
Trust the people around me.
Trust that the body really is a miracle, capable of healing itself.
Trust. Trust. Trust.

And then make the most of the present situation.

Mom, I woke up today, hoping my neck would be better. I lay down last night for 2 hours and then went to the grocery store at 8pm to buy some advil and an ice pack. I've never taken advil before so it must be serious. The healtfood store anti-inflammatory didn't work (that I noticed) but the lady there was very nice (I know her well) and when I told her I hurt my neck, she was very consoling (I am a poor baby) and I found myself saying "I just want my momma!" and almost burst into tears.

Ahh, hemm...perhaps I am a bit of a drama queen. :) One thing is for sure. I DO NOT LIKE BEING INJURED! I can handle being sick but I do not like being injured at all!

Anyway, I went to Save On and bought some ice-gel packs and then Gwen came over and rubbed my neck a bit. She's an angel in disguise. We had a good visit, and she went home with a big bowl of cherries that I bought the other day. It's been wonderful living so close to each other.

When I was laying down last night, I was wondering why my neck could be sore and what I could be doing about it...

...It's not the time to pack in my Ironman stuff yet, so don't get your hopes up, Mom! But I did come up with the realization that I just have to trust that this is all for a bigger benefit...and that so much good can come out of everything, no matter what it is. It's a choice, of course, and I just have to choose to trust.

I am sure that's what you have done all your life....Trusted.
Trust in life.
Trust that things happen for a reason in the bigger picture.
Trust that you have enough time to do all that you needed to do, with 10 kids and so much going on.
Trust the people around you.
Trust that your body (and the bodies of your kids and grand-kids) really are a miracle, capable of healing itself when they are injured or sick.
Trust. Trust. Trust.

This morning, rather than get upset that my neck doesn't feel any better, I decided to take my coffee outside and water the trees. Anne told me that I have to water the leaves. I didn't know. So, with my coffee in hand, I spent half an hour watering the trees and loving every moment, trusting that my neck will get better soon.

Love you,
Crystal
PS I want my momma!
PPS It's only day 2 of being slowed down by a sore neck, but, to be completely honest, this is not just a pain in the neck, it's a real pain in the ass!!

A Little Reminder

This morning I received a little reminder...a reminder that my health is the most important thing in life.

Without our health, life becomes very challenging, difficult, painful, energy-consuming and stops me from doing what I want to do.

I woke up with a kink in my neck. It is only a kink in my neck. Nothing serious. Nothing major. Time will heal it and I'll be just fine in a day or two. But today, it's all I can think about. I can't move very fast, my neck is sore and I have to lift my head with my hand so I can get up from bed. I went to the chiropractor right away this morning and they aligned the vertebrae but the muscles are spasming and so tight that I can't really move or look to the left very well.

This is totally minor but it is affecting everything I do today and this is a huge reminder for me, not just a little reminder, of how important our health is.

Today, living intentionally is a not-so-gentle reminder of the importance of taking care of my health.

Mom, can you please make it go away?
(Yes, I know, I'm a poor baby!)

Love you,
Crystal
PS I had coffee with Anne today and we had a wonderful visit and talk about all sorts of things. She's truly a wonderful lady. We met at the Zellers coffee shop and had coffee (certainly not Starbucks strength) and I had to have a little piece of blueberry pie. Anne insisted. So...it's two treats this week, not one.

And apparently we're getting together next week to have coffee and I'm making cherry pie. (I'm going to need to call you for some advice on this one, Mom!)

Scrub the corners

Today I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the corners of two of the bathrooms at the hostel with a scrub brush.

And I loved every moment!

I spent about 40 minutes scrubbing two bathrooms, from top to bottom, while working from 7am - 1pm in the hostel! It was fabulous! Better than fabulous, actually! It was truly fulfilling...to clean, scrub, wash, chat with customers, help them and teach a girl from Korea to make pancakes and have her laugh at my broken-Korean words... not to mention my terrible french on the phone to a French-speaking person who wanted to make a reservation.

I felt joy. I shared joy. I inspired joy.

The time flew by...b/c I was so busy trying to do my best...so busy scrubbing the corners...and so busy making the most of every moment.

Mom, it reminds me of how you used to teach us and tell us "how" to do things (not "what" to do...but rather, how to do things). You were never into a quick-clean. If we were to do anything, it should be done thoroughly...without major short-cuts or half-done tasks.

It's been the best year on record for the hostel and it is entirely due to the team...who do the most increidble job...b/c they scrub the corners...not just in the bathrooms, but in their daily actions...whatever they do, they seem to do things so very thoroughly...with great joy, no matter what it is that they are doing...and that attracts the customers that seem to come and never want to leave.

The creator and instigator of this amazing team is David, my Australian brother, who continues to absolutely leave in awe with his skills, ability and by simply being just who he is!

It's another day that is going by, and yet again, I find myself saying thank you. Not for a healthy body today and tailwinds...but thank you to my team, who truly amaze me and humble me with their work ethic, joy-filled natures and corner-scrubbing talents.

Mom, you would love the scrub brushes (small ones, just like you have) that get in the corners so easily!

I love you.
Crystal

Thank you...

Yesterday, I said at least one hundred "thank you's" as I rode 150km around the Ironman bike loop.

To start it off, Anne arrived just as I was leaving the house at 7:00am to drive to Penticton. She wanted to come and putter in the yard. (Who was I to say no? After all, it will always be her house, too.) I did buy a bunch of snacks and left thank you notes for her...but I couldn't stay and help. I had to go and ride the course.

When I got home, I am not sure who worked harder - me on my bike for 6 hours...or Anne in the back yard! The yard is almost caught up and I am so grateful to her for helping me. I was overwhelmed, to say the least, before she arrived.

All the black dirt is now visible after we (OK, mostly Anne) picked the dead early-summer wilfdlowers and plants, weeds, etc. Where ever you see black dirt...Anne's been there in teh past couple of days, doing her magic! Now, the jungle isn't a jungle any more...it's a little orchard paradise!

There's only a little left to finish in this corner and I can do that!

As I went to sleep lastnight, I was replaying the rest of the day in my mind as well, thinking about all the things I am thankful for. There's nothing like a 6 hour bike ride to bring me back to "myself" and remind me of all that I am thankful for.
On the bike ride, in the 5th hour, that's the part where you and all the family were cheering (in my first race) with Kate and her red sweater lower down the long slow climb...and you and everyone else up higher near the top (at Yellow Lake).
This is the photo that Carla took in that race when all of you were cheering on that hill.

On my training rides, it is where I always say my "thank you's" b/c it's the last difficult part. Once I've made it up this hill, the last hour is easy on the bike and I get to continue my thank you's there, too, as I fly down the hills back into Penticton at 50-60km/hour.

All day, on the ride, I found myself saying thank you to to the people in my life, who give me that tail-wind every day, which also, seemed to push us along on the bike ride, too. (Mom, thank you for that little tailwind...I'm sure it was from you.)

I was really nervous about the ride, considering my minimal training, but it was a perfect day. The first two hours, went by so fast, and then the climb at Richter pass seemed to give me more energy, rather than take it. The 4th hour felt like a little game, going up and down the 7 rolling hills and then we got to the Yellow Lake hill which was very hard, but proved to show me what I'm made of, and not what I'm not. (Thankfully).) And the last hour...well, that's a gift in itself, b/c you barely have to pedal for about 45 minutes. When we finished, we went for a swim, had a huge lunch and drove home, tired and thankful.

As I was going up the hills, I noticed how they look so big from far away, but when you get closer, the hills seem to disappear and the road unfolds to be less daunting than it originally appeared to be. Every hill, when I look at it from afar, looks so BIG...but as I get closer, it seems to sort of disappear and before I know it, I'm half way up it, almost by surprise.

I guess it's that way in life, too. From far away, anything and everything (like the back yard) seem so big and daunting...but up close, little by little, the mountains disappear once we just get started.

Lately, I am finding myself in the middle of things, not really sure how I got there, but so grateful for how things always seem to work out. It seems that I'm not really "driving my own bus", and I'm sort of just along for the ride. It feels great to not be so in control of everything, and instead, just holding some kind of vision and faith that things will work out how they are meant to.

Mom, I love you. Thank you for teaching me to just get started when things seem unsurmountable. Thank you for being there with me out on the ride! And thanks for the tailwind. You remain the wind beneath my wings, always.
Love you,
Crystal
PS Let me know what you think of the yard!!

Anne is 76, to be exact. And she worked me over yesterday! We spent about 3 hours in the yard and turned the jungle into more of the little paradise that it is.

I could barely keep up.

While we were out in the yard, Mom, sometimes we didn't talk, sometimes Anne talked and sometimes I asked questions.

Anne was a welder for 35 years. She met her husband Don while working there. She said he was the smartest person she ever knew. She shared with me a lot about her life and past and dropped all sorts of "life wisdom" into our conversation...

I'll write more about this tonight...I'm biking the ironman route today with some friends.

Sorry to be so brief Mom. I had to go (really - I did!) to the Salsa Saturday dance lastnight (OMG did I have fun!) and then went to sleep as soon as I got home to get a good sleep for today...Can't wait to send you photos of the yard and tell you about the past couple days of living intentionally...

The only sad part of the past couple days are the Riders! :( Next time! We can't win 'em all!

I love you Mom!
Crystal

I'm going to help you now...and then you're on your own, kid.

This is Anne.

She's the lady that I bought the new house from. She's almost 80. And she's quite amazing.

She came over yesterday for zucchini/carrot loaf, coffee and a visit. Well, and also to show me a few things around the house.
- there are underground sprinklers that I didn't know about. Who knew!
- there are other details that are so good to know like how the water system works, the various switches, the vacuum, (the only other time I've had central vac was at home in your house Mom!), etc.

Then we went out to the garden, which really is a jungle. She immediately started pulling, cutting, and snipping plants as we chatted. I followed along after her, pulling the same things (that I thought were flowers but really are weeds), snipping and cutting, too. We chatted, laughed, I listened and as we wandered around teh garden, I couldn't help but admire her for all her work that she's done here when she owned the house and for creating such a wonderful paradise that I now get to appreciate and enjoy.

As she was getting ready to go, she handed me the blueprints for the house and said, "If you need anything, call me or look on these prints." Then, as we hugged goodbye, she said, "OK, I'm going to come back this week, and do some work in the yard, whether you're here or not...and then you're on your own, kid."

I stood on the step waving goodbye to Anne as she drove away, with her big pink glasses and smile, feeling very grateful that I'm never really left on my own.

There seem to be angels (disguised as friends, sisters, Anne, and my Mom) all around me. I am blessed.

Mom, I love you. You've said this to me before too...."________ and then you're on your own!!" The first part could have been any one of a million things you've done to help me get on my feet...so you could send me on my way, on my own. I am so grateful for you. Love you, Mom!

Crystal
PS: Anne said to tell you that you should move out here so you can come and take care of all this fruit! The pears and peaches are looking incredible on the trees!

Nutrition - the missing link!

"Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are."
- Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I eat well...enough.

Really, what I should say is that "I exercise...enough...to maintain a relatively fit/healthy body."

But I don't really eat well enough, for my own standards and my own expectations of where I want to be, what I want to look like and what I want to do, with sports.

I am realizing that it's not so much exercise that makes the difference in that last 10% of what I want to achieve....it's nutrition. Nutrition is the missing link! And I've got it all wrong in some ways in this department!

A couple weeks ago, I went to a personal trainer to talk about nutrition and food. I learned that so much of what I thought was correct, was really way off base! I learned about proper food combining, balanced meals (Mom, um...err...well...you were right about a lot of this) :) and I learned stuff that I really should have known long ago, considering my past races and everything.

In spite of myself, I've done pretty well and have had lots of energy to burn over the years...but if I could only master the nutrition component...maybe then, I really could bottle this energy and sell it, like so many people have asked me to do. haha.

Seriously, today is the day...to step up, make a commitment and really see what I'm made of! The Ironman race is coming up sooner than I'd like it to...and the next 5 weeks are going to be BIG! in every way!

So...here we go!
For the next 30 days, I'm going to eat only healthy things...balanced meals...proper foods...and we'll see what happens! No treats or chocolate - except for once/week. (That "no chocolate" stint I did a few months ago was crazy! Even one treat/week would have been a glorious reward...and would probably have made that little challenge go by a LOT easier!)

Yesterday I read something cool in a book - I can't remember it exactly but it said something like this: There are 6 real doctors in the world...and they are...diet and exercise, clean air and water, sunshine and sleep. It was from a nursery rhyme. I think it's true. If we incorporate all of these things...we will be healthy! I'd add a couple more...something to hope for and someone to love.

Mom, I thought you should know...you were right about that whole, protein, vegetable, carbohydrate thing...carbs really are not bad and apparently all these things should be eaten together at meals. Oh yeah, and about that oatmeal stuff that you used to make that I despised...I'm supposed to learn to like it!

Sorry I missed writing you yesterday!
I love you,
Crystal

“Food is never just food. It's also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been and who we want to be.”
— Molly Wizenberg

Am I awake...or am I only dreaming?

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." Carl Jung

The following idea of feeling two kinds of "tiredness" came to me tonight as I lay on the floor, completely tired, physically and mentally, yet so happy at the same time. When I read this quote (above), it was easy to understand how and why I feel these different kinds of fatigue at different times - when I am looking into my heart or outside of it... truly awake or simply dreaming.

There are two kinds of tired...and every day, we're probably feeling one or the other...

Both feel the same physically (or at least similar), but radically different, emotionally and mentally. In following my vision or calling, or not, I'm feeling one of these kinds of "tired" every day.

Mom, I'm certain you felt both of these kinds of tired, on a daily basis...although I hope that you felt more (much more) of the first kind...

The first kind of tiredness or fatigue is created by looking into our hearts and followng that path until we're so tired that we fall into bed at night, exhausted...happy...alive...inspired...with our spirit awakened!

The second kind of fatigue is created by looking outside our hearts, perhaps into other places like our mind, the world around us, other people, various demands or expectations (self-imposed or otherwise)...and all of these things are very connected to us in ways, but not connected to our hearts (our spirit) at all. This kind of mental and physical fatigue is something I can easily recognize now...and it happens when I'm not creating anything new, reading, writing, taking photos, exercising, (or dancing), etc..things like that....when I'm not looking into and/or living from my heart....when I'm not following my vision.

During these times, I'm not awake! I'm only dreaming.

Today, I had the kind of day, where I didn't just look into my heart, following my vision...I jumped into it, shared the best of me, and looked through my heart from the moment I woke up this morning, visiting and having coffee with Gwen, until now, as I'm about to fall into bed, exhausted! I woke up early to make sure Gwen's birthday sign was still looking good on the window and then she came over for an early morning coffee! I'm also cramming for the Ironman right now, so, after having coffee with Gwen, I went biking for a few hours, up and down Knox Mountain a few times. It was a fabulous ride. Then, an hour long run after that, followed by the biggest omelet I've ever made and then i just had to lay down for a bit before going to the hostel briefly and dancing for 3 hours tonight, not to mention the DQ Blizzard that I was supposed to be sharing but ate most of! It was a gorgeous day from start to finish, and what made it so, was that I was completely true to my heart. All day. You know, there were things I wanted and asked for, that I didn't get, but it didn't matter, because all that mattered was that I was truly awake. I did work a tiny bit at the hostel and that was amazing (we are having the best year ever and the team is second to none)! I'll have to work all day tomorrow, since I didn't today. Today, while working and as I took time for the other , un-work-related things that I had to do...I was surrounded by amazing people, completely true to my heart, following my own vision or path, looking into my heart, not outside of it!

As I fall asleep tonight, I clearly see that being fully awake instead of only dreaming, feels pretty fabulous. Of course I have big dreams and aspirations, but that's not what I mean through my comparison btwn being awake and dreaming.

Mom, I sure hope that you felt the good kind of tired as we were all growing up. I'm sure there were times when you were awake, looking into your heart, and I'm sure there were lots of times when all you could do was dream. You must have been exhausted...with 10 kids and a business on the go...I can't imagine what that must have been like...but I truly hope that as you fell into bed at night, it was a good kind of exhausted. As you woke up every day then, and as you do now, beside Don, I am sure that you wake up, looking into your heart and feeling so fully awake, b/c you're not dreaming.

I'm so happy that these past years have been so wonderful for you Mom.
And thank you for leading your life within your heart and not outside of it, and being an example of that for all of us.

Love you,
Crystal