If it doesn't fit - get rid of it!

If it doesn't fit - GET RID OF IT!
Yes, that's right. Get rid of it!
If it doesn't fit, it's time to tag that toe and let it go.

I remember my mom telling me this as I desperately tried to fit into my favourite pair of jeans that I bought about two years prior. I was in grade 10. I bought my beloved jeans in grade 8 or 9. I loved those jeans. They were baby-blue in colour with a 2 inch slit at the ankle seam. I remember telling my mom NOT to dry them in the dryer if she ever washed them b/c they were getting too tight. Now, I wasn't getting fat or anything, although at the time, as a teen-age girl, I probably (definitely) thought I was. I recall trying to squeeze into those jeans, ultimately lying on the bed in an attempt to get the zipper done up. Then, when all else failed, I got a coat hanger and used it to pull the zipper up. (Please God, I cannot be the only one who has ever done this!!)

Well, anyway, mom mom took one look at me after I won the battle with the coat hanger, wearing my skin-tight denim and pointed her finger as if to say, "You're not too old for me to send you back to your room!" With that she said, "Crystal. Get rid of those things. They don't fit! Get rid of them!"

Good advice Mom. Not just for jeans I cannot even breathe in, but as a metaphor for life!

This is a photo of a friend and I on our way to our first concert - Cory Hart! It was likely the last time I wore my beloved baby blues!

So what is "it"?
"It" could be:
- those jeans that are too tight
- those clothes that you never wear or don't feel really fabulous in
- the shoes, the jacket, the work-out gear or those beat-up old runners that have seen better days.

"It" could also be a multitude of other things (not clothing related) that you've either outgrown, that never really fit right in the first place or that you simply no longer need, such as...
- the clutter in your office
- the "junk in your trunk" (which could be the extra weight you're carrying or junk in your vehicle)
- the dust-collecting trinkets in your home
- the piles of stuff in your...(OK, I have to be honest, in my) garage
- people from way back when that used to be acquaintences or friends but with whom you really have nothing in common, 20 or 30 years later
- that boyfriend or date that you just were not meant to be with in the first place
- the furniture, the dishes or the kitchen gadgets that you don't have room for or that you've never used. How many mugs do you really need, anyway? Wine glasses are a completely different story.

For me, it is time...to get rid of "it"! I need to get rid of the junk in my trunk, the stuff in my garage and the clothes that don't fit or make me feel fabulous, the baggage I'm carrying, the dust collecting trinkets... I could go on!

This is on my list from day 3.

If it doesn't fit, get rid of it is going to be the theme for January...along with my no sweets, treats and junk food commitment. (I have to admit...I'm getting nervous and feeling cookie-pangs already!)

It's Day 11. The first 10 days of this project have been more than fun. It is going to get tough starting tomorrow. I know it. I love sweets and treats! I remember hearing at an Anthony Robbins conference years ago that "commitment is doing the things you said you would do long after the feeling that you made the commitment in has left you".

I'm going to have to dig deep!

If you want to see a miracle - be a miracle.

It has been 10 days. I am even more excited about this project than I was 10 days ago. I had thought, originally, that I would like to complete this project, over the course of the year, and then next January, when my mom turns 75, give her all of these posts, in a book, starting from day 1 to 365.

However, today, as I attended a yoga/pilates class (part of my year of intentional living), the thought "Don't wait!" came to me. "Tell her about it now." said my inner voice. It was my intuition, I'm certain.

I came to some other conclusions as well, as I tried to breathe, hold the pose and not fall over.

If the next 355 days is going to be a year filled with intentions, then I need to be more clear on what I am doing on a daily basis towards this goal. I have a million ideas as to how to live intentionally. However, as I was actually re-reading some of my own material (that I use for work), I realize that I need to get a LOT more clear on what I want. I am actually quite focued and I do have a solid vision for my life...to an extent. But I let myself off the hook and don't give 100% in all areas. It is time to step up. I've attended a number of leadership programs with Inside Out Leadership and in one of the programs, I heard the facilitator say, "98% is a bitch. 100% is easy."

It's true.

98% IS a bitch!

I asked myself the question, "At the end of this year, what would make it the very best year?". A few answers came to me. I still need to give this more thought, but I realized that 2010 will be an extraordinary year if/when I do all the things I wrote on Day 3 plus others:
1. learn to play the guitar and sing
2. learn to speak spanish and take dance classes
3. get really, really fit
4. spend more time with my friends and family, laughing and having fun
5. steward my savings/investments wisely and grow my financial net worth
6. find my purpose and get very, very clear on it
7. be more intentional with my businesses, websites, finish my product lines
8. meet the man of my dreams
9. simplify my life in every way
10. say "no" more often so that I can say "yes" when I want to

These are just random thoughts right now. Over the next few days I'm going to take these random thoughts and turn them into goals with benchmarks and a solid action plan!

I heard a great quote today that really spoke to me! If you want to see a miracle - be a miracle.

If I want to see miracles happen in my life, I need to be one! I'm looking around for miracles to happen...and what I really need to do is look in the mirror and create one!

My "90 Day Challenge" workbook is almost finished! On January 1st, I'm going to be a participant in my own program! It is time to get focused and clear! I am so focuesd in my Ironman racing (photo - from the Cozumel Ironman in November 2009). It's time to apply that to the rest of my life!

No one said it was going to be easy.

I loved this piece of advice from my mom.

I can remember times when I would be overwhelmed with university exams and call home. My mom would listen for a few minutes and then say my favourite line (previously shared), "If you're the only one attending your own pity party, why don't you leave?".

Or, she would say, "Well dear, no one said it was going to be easy.". With that, she would usually follow up with something supportive and encouraging.



When I bought the hostel, a run-down delapitaded "crack house" almost 12 years ago, I remember calling home almost every day for the first 3 weeks of ownership, crying and severely overwhelmed with something that was going on there. Mom would always respond with "Dear, what did you expect? No one said this was going to be easy".

I stopped calling after 3 weeks...only because she came out to help me for a few weeks to get things in order. I am the luckiest child alive to have a mom like this!

I've learned and continue to learn that most things of value usually take the most effort.

Note to self: In January when I am on my "no sugar/treats" plan...read this post!

Mom, thank you for teaching me to have a work ethic, to have faith that even when things get hard I can get through them and to believe in myself and that I can do most anything. I love you.

My body is my temple.

If it is true that "our bodies are our temple", then my temple has a few very sweet sections! I love sweets, treats and chocolate. My favourite treats are home-made cranberry, white chocolate cookies and I am the queen of baking them!

However, it's time to not only step up in the recycling department, but also in the nutrition department. This is going to be very difficult for me. My "comfort foods" are things like baked banana loaf, cookies, muffins, tim-bits, Starbucks pumpkin scones... I could go on and on.

For the month of January, I am committing to reducing and eliminating all this stuff from my life. OH MY GOD...this is going to be difficult. I can feel the sugar withdrawl already.

Mom, you're going to be proud of me!
It is December 27th. I have only a few days to savour your zuccinni loaf that's in my freezer!
Love you.

For the record, here is the recipe for my favourite cookies:
1 cup + 2 tbsp flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
pinch of salf
mix together.

1 egg
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup demura brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
mix together (on own - not with dry ingredients)
Add a splash of vanilla
Add a package of vanilla pudding mix (just the dry mix)
Add 1/2 cup of white chocolate chunks
Add 1/2 cup of cranberries (dried - like rasins)
Mix all of this together.
Then add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients.

Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes, until the edges are golden brown.

Enjoy! And eat one for me too!

Do you really need to buy that?

It's Boxing Day. The day for shopping! Wisdom from my mom would be to ask, "Do you really need to buy that...or do you just think you do?"

Mom, you are the greatest at the "3 R's". Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.


I remember zip-lock bags being rinsed out, hanging to dry over the kitchen sink faucet years (and possibly decades) before the whole recycling movement came into being. You also reused Christmas wrap, which, at the age of 18, as I wrapped my first boyfriend's Christmas gift, I was mortified by. I thought, "He's going to see the old tape marks, where the scotch tape had pulled some of the colour off the wrap when the person opened their gift the year before!"

Hmmm...funny memories! Now it's the "in" thing to wrap gifts using newspaper, magazine pages and even, wrapping in usable items like kitchen t-towels and give those as part of the gift too.

Mom, you were ahead of your time. You still are.

As part of this year of intentional living, and beyond that, I'm going to begin to step up my commitment to the 3 R's. You know, I TRY to bring my own bags to the grocery store and I TRY to do my best....but then I often forget my plastic bags in the car as I go to Save On for groceries.

So...here we go! No more plastic bags! I am committing to going to the car to get my reusable bags from this day onward. I am committing to NO MORE PLASTIC BAGS!

Thanks Mom, for teaching us the 3 R's, even if I scoffed, years ago, at the thought of using pre-used Christmas wrap on my first boyfriend's gift! You're right, he would never have noticed. And if he had, he would not have cared.

love you!
Crystal

Moving from "Why me?" to "What for?"

Merry Christmas!
We celebrated Christmas Eve, lastnight, at my sister's home. Gwen has the most cozy, welcoming home - because she and her husband are the same. So loving. Laughing constantly. I love going to their house...it reminds me of going home to my mom's. Their fridges are both jam-packed, filled to maximum capacity with great food, left-over's and so much more! We had a great evening. It was wonderful. I don't know what I would do without Gwen in my life. She is my best friend. For her and all my brothers and sisters and parents, I am so grateful.



Today, Gwen, a few close friends and I went snowboarding/skiing in the glorious sunshine and celebrated Christmas Day together. It was a gorgeous day! The snow sparkled in the sunshine! It was stunning!


Tonight, we watched a CNN show about local heroes. This show was a "sign" for me to see for many reasons. It clearly brought to light where I'm floundering and lost.

Angela Ivory, one of the CNN Heroe recipients for 2009 said something profound. She said that she moved from thinking "Why me?" upon being diagnosed with breast cancer, to "What for?".

My mother didn't say these words, but she lived them every day, as well.

My mom had lots of reasons to say "Why me?" but her perspective is like Angela's. She lives out the question, "What for?". She has a calling. She knows it. It is to have and raise her family well, to live in her faith and to love everyone she meets and treat them with the utmost of care. Her life is a continual act of service to God and all those she loves. I am so amazed by her.

I don't really know what my calling is though. I know it is "to make a difference", which I think is a calling we all share. I know that I am here to use my gifts and talents to make a difference in the world. However, I don't really know what that looks like. I have not found my exact path. I have not found the "one" compelling cause to support and spend my life in service of. I dream of finding my one major focus, dharma or opus. My purpose! I believe that when I do, my life and path will have a much greater meaning and impact. I can see, so clearly in my mind that I can almost taste it, the huge difference it would make....to use my energy and passion in ONE area, rather than just sprinkling it everywhere. I see others who have found their path, whether they always knew it very early on in life or stumbled across it.

I can see countless examples and with this focus, they make a much bigger impact on the world:
John Wood found his path and started Room To Read
My friend, Melanie Maure, found her path serving others and helping them through trauma with her amazing talents and she uses all of her talents in her practise:yoga, mediatation, nutrition, somatic therapy, all of this and more.
My mom, of course, found her path and is the most amazing mother and friend in the world.
Lance Armstrong found his path to not only cycle but to support cancer research.
My sister Gwen has found her path in the same way as Melanie, using a blend of her gifts and talents, including massage, reflexology, personal fitness training, health and more.
I could go on and on with examples of people who have found their purpose.

This year, Mom, I hope to find my purpose. It's only Day 6 of this little project but I think this blog will help. Mom, I know it will be a blend of all of my past experiences (the good and bad) and what I have learned from them. I believe it will involve sharing my gifts and talents. I trust that I will recognize it when it is presented to me and I have faith that the time is now.

I love you Mom. It was so nice to see you last week.
Merry Christmas.

Follow the GSD Plan!

I've been "wanting" to write a monthly newsletter for about 5 years now. Yes, that's correct - 5 long years. It's on my list of things to as part of this year of living intentionally and am writing my first newsletter in January 2010. Finally. Better late than never!

Below is a newsletter I started a few months ago, that coincidentally, is really all about living intentionally. I only just finished it lastnight, adding a few things to make it current. I was amazed at how so much of the past year has led me to exactly this place - this blog, with so many of my thoughts and intentions aligned with eachother.

Mom, thanks for the kick in the butt to follow the GSD plan! (Get Shit Done!) You were always one to get one thing done before starting another and while that is so NOT me...I'm working on being a little more like you every day! I love you!
Crystal



24 Hours of Time

Sometimes I find myself thinking, “I’m running out of time. I’ve got so much to do….so many big dreams…so many projects… and not enough time!” My stress level rises and I can feel my heart beat quicken. And then, luckily, I stop. (Or at least, I try to slow down.) I take a deep breath. I remind myself that I have enough time. I look for my focus and remember that I’ve got 24 hours, every day, for the duration of my life. And that’s enough time to bring my dreams to life.

You’ve heard this before…we all have 24 hours per day – to spend or invest in a way we choose. It cannot be saved for a later date. There is no “carry over” to hold on to and keep until tomorrow. All of it must be spent today. That’s 24 hours, 1440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds.


Do you remember, years ago, the clocks with the numbers that flip over as each minute passes? These clocks, with their flipping numbers, cannot go backwards – they only fall forward. They cannot be rewound, just like life. I love these old clocks! Perhaps it is b/c they remind me of my childhood, and also b/c, as the numbers flip forward, they show me that time is passing by and I need to pay attention to that. All we have is right here. Right now. There’s no “do over’s” allowed in this game of life. Imagine if time were linear, measured in physical distance like kilometres or the number of steps we could take. Being an athlete, I can relate to this clear visual depiction of time in a physical sense. On average, most people could take one step (that’s about ½ meter) every second. If the same pace could be kept, that would work out to 43km per day. Now, walking 43 km/day is unlikely, but it’s easy to look at this as a metaphor for moving forward in life. Imagine that we could only take a step IF we were actively choosing where we were going, walking intentionally. I don’t know about you, but there are times during the day (more than I want to admit) that I live by default rather than by design, waste time, put life on “autopilot”, get pulled in different directions, at the affect of whatever is happening, watch tv or sit at the computer, very unintentional about what I am doing. During these moments, there is no forward movement.

At the end of most days, it’s easy for me to see that I could be farther ahead if I chose to live more intentionally and less by default.

I’ve spent over 38 years of time and a lot of it was invested well. However, I cannot help but notice and admit that I’ve also squandered a great deal of it, letting it slip away forever b/c I was unintentional and unfocused on what or why I was doing something.


This past summer, I went trekking in India for 3 weeks. It was a spontaneous trip that was presented to me and I just knew in my heart that I was supposed to go. I had just seen the movie, “Yes Man” and even made up postcards the week before being invited on the trip that said, “the answer is YES!” I thought it must be a sign! The primary reason I went was b/c I had been feeling restless and unsettled. I hoped that going on this journey, climbing in the Himalayas at 16,500ft., would provide me some sort of epiphany or personal growth to satisfy my inner lack of contentment. The 3 weeks went by quickly and as I flew home, luckily enjoying the luxury of business class, I reflected on the journey.

While it was an incredible trip and the people of India and Nepal were absolutely unforgettable, I was personally disappointed b/c I didn’t experience the life-changing “AH HA “moment” I had been craving. However, when I got back, settling back into my “crazy busy” life seemed impossible. I simply couldn’t re-engage in my life and could not get myself to resume my frantic pace. I wasn’t depressed, ill or unhappy. Something inside of me simply could not and would not get back into my “swing of things”. It was as if an “unconscious” part of me was running the show. A new “me” had taken over and was now in charge. I felt like a rebellious child, with my hands on my hips, daring the “old me” to just try to take the reigns.

The new me puttered around the house, had a deck built in my back yard and planted sod. Then, I watered it – every day – by hand! I took up painting on canvas. I picked up my dusty guitar and started playing again. I redecorated my house. I went for coffee, hung out a little more at the hostel that I own and basically cut my pace in half. I got on my bike and trained for my next Ironman race without guilt for taking the time off work. I took courses through Inside Out Leadership, read lots of books and went out on my paddleboard. The old me looked on, helpless, very judgemental, scolding, “you are wasting your time. Get to work. Go make some money!” The new me responded calmly, “It’s time to do things my way. Have faith. This stillness will have it’s reward. Be patient.”

And this is where I am today, as the year comes to a close, trying to be still, out running and enjoying the sunshine, in the process of doing things differently, in a state of observation regarding my own life and it’s meaning. I just returned from 3 weeks in Mexico where I completed my 7th Ironman triathlon, raising funds for charity along the way. What a glorious place to be, exploring possibility, starting to live from a place of intention and focus, refusing to allow myself to be distracted or pulled in all directions as I have so often allowed in the past. I feel blessed and grateful that I can take this time and work less than usual. The new me has slowly allowed the old me to have a little control but won’t relinquish too much control or too much freedom to the old me, thank God. It would be impossible to go back…and I don’t want to.


The new me connected with three of my greatest mentors over the past few months; Mark LeBlanc, John Wood and my mom. Spending time with these individuals has left me inspired, filled with a sense of possibility and focused on my own purpose and dreams. My mom truly is my greatest inspiration. In honour of her, I’ve decided to start a little project called “The year of intentional living project” because she lives with intention in a very big way. I’m embarking on a journey for one year, focusing on “living intentionally” and living out some of the advice and wisdom my mom has shared throughout my life. I hope you’ll join me on this journey to live a little more intentionally every day. If we did that, just a few tiny steps every day, day after day, I bet that in one year from now, we would be astounded! Please join me. And then, 365 days from now, we’re going to look back in awe!

As this holiday season comes and goes and 2010 begins, who could you spend some time with over the coming weeks that would offer a little inspiration to you? Who or what would help you find your sense of possibility or hope? What are you focusing on these days? What are a few small, subtle ways that could help you slow down and be still to make space for your purpose and dreams to expand?
The answer is YES! Have a fabulous wrap up to 2009 and if you would like a free download (PDF) of the postcard “The answer is YES” along with a few others that I use in my consulting practise, please send me an email and I’ll send them to you. My email address is info@inspiringsuccess.ca.
Take care,
To YOU and living with intention.
Crystal

If there's no one else attending your "Pity Party", why don't you leave?

Over a decade ago, I called you, mom, crying the blues about something. You listened patiently for a few minutes as I complained, cried and cursed about something. I don't remmeber what I was upset about, but I remember what you said, as if it were yesterday. After a few minutes, you interrupted me and asked, "Dear, is anyone else there?" to which I replied, sniffling, "no". Then you said, matter-of-factly, "Well then, if no one else is attendign your "Pity Party", why don't you leave?". I was dumbfounded. It took me a moment to actually grasp the meaning of what you were saying, and when I did, it was enough to make me snap out of my rant (and rut).

Over the past 10 years or more, I've thought of this comment countless times, and it always makes me snap out of whatever rut I'm in.

Living intentionally today, I started to create my roadmap of benchmarks to achieving all that I wrote yesterday. I still acknowledge that I've been in, and probably am still in, that rut or place of discomfort. I know I'm learning a lot by being here. I love the line, "pain is inevitable, growth is optional". I'm excited to choose the option of growth. This is where the greatest gifts/insight are.

I was at a Christmas party tonight, which was so wonderful. Upon sharing/visiting I mentioned to a few of my colleagues that I've been in a difficult place, emotionally, the past couple of weeks. It felt so good to be absolutely truthful and real and honest about this instead of giving politically correct pleasantries.

I have (often) brushed things under the rug, tried to keep quiet to avoid making waves and I've withheld the truth in the past. A long time ago, I have simply backed down to avoid confrontation. It really is time to speak up, be heard and get real with myself and others.

I am realizing that honesty (with myself) and truth (with others) are the only "get out of Pity Party free" cards that work in life. It feels good to be real and tell the truth - when I'm happy - and when I'm not.

It's time to find a bigger problem and get real with myself. The "bigger problem" I'm choosing is to have one amazing year filled with all the things I really want in my life!

Thanks Mom, for encouraging me to leave the party!
I love you.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Day 3 of 365.
It's going to be an extraordinary year.
Feeling a little out of sorts yesterday, I took some time to acknowledge my feelings and listen to them. It's true - my life is definitely not where I'd like it to be in some areas. But in other areas, I am so grateful for all the abundance and gifts I've been given. I remember taking a workshop years ago and the phrase "find a bigger problem" was mentioned, with specific reference to when people feel sad or down about their own life, they should simply find a bigger problem (or purpose) and focus on that rather than blowing our own (usually minor) issues out of proportion.

So...I started thinking about my life and the areas of my life that I would like to change. I also began to look at all that I have been blessed with. More on this another day. Today, I pondered all the things I want and thought about my mom's line "you can do anything you set your mind to". She would stand (usually in the kitchen at the counter where she was doing something) and shake her head, smiling. She'd say, "you can do anything, just not everything".

If this year is going to be one of intention, then here are my intentions for the year. Now, I just have to create a plan to achieve and attract all of these things, so that next year at this time, I'll look back and be able to share with my mom how this little project (and her inspiration) truly changed my life in immeasurable ways.
- take spanish lessons
- finish my workbook, "the 90 day challenge" and pocket book, "A Secret Dream"
- take dance lessons in a group class and dance 2-3/month
- enter a dance competition (?)
- do my 8th Ironman triathlon and get a personal best time - under 13:30 hours
- declutter my garage
- update my business plan for the hostel
- update my bp for my consulting and strategize
- organize a humanitarian mission/trip to Nepal
- get lean and fit (really fit) and have a 6pack
- guitar lessons
- singing lessons
- get more comfortable in my own skin and really let my inner confidence shine
- take some sort of healing modality training program
- sell out our D.I.V.A. Retreat humanitarian mission (to Mexico) in April
- continue to strengthen my friendships with my closest friends and family members
- meet the man of my dreams
- continue to grow and steward my financial well-being in progressive ways.

I really could go on and on....but this is more than enough to grasp for the coming year. Now, I just have to create a plan to make this happen!

The answer for me lies in creating "rituals". One of my greatest mentors and someone I am grateful to call a friend, invited me to look at goals (and achieving them) by creating rituals, like brushing your teeth, which is something you just simply do on a daily basis, without question.

It feels good to focus on all the possibilities in my life, rather than look at what is missing.

One ritual that my mom and I always share is making snow angels. As a kid growing up, I was out in the back yard making snow angels and then calling my mom to come and see them. When I grew up and went to university a few hours away, the ritual continued. I would make snow angels in the back yard, as a surprise for my mom, to remind her that I loved her and was thinking of her. When I would come home on weekends to visit, I would sneak out to the back yard before leaving to go back to school. Sometimes, I would say my goodbyes, drive off and then park the car and sneak around the block, go back into the back yard, make an angel or two for my mom and then jump in my car, wet pants and all and drive the few hours back to school. When she saw them, I hoped it would remind her of how much I loved and missed her. This ritual still goes on, decades later.

Mom, the snow angels in the back yard today are for you and I hope they remind you of how much I appreciated seeing you and love you.

Now...it's time to develop my plan of rituals to bring all these dreams and goals to life!

Tell the truth. Always.

Intentional Living today is about TRUTH for me. I had an amazing birthday yesterday. One of the best day's I've had in ages. So many emails, phone calls and birthday wishes. And then today, I woke up feeling a little uneasy.

This song by Rob Thomas, Someday, is how I am feeling right now. I am soooo excited and hopeful about my future. For some reason, tonight, as I write this, I am also filled with a few doubts and a little lonliness. Lastnight, to celebrate our birthday, we went out with a few girl friends. We've been friends since Grade 3. We had a good time! It was wondeful to catch up! I was so in awe of my sister and two friends b/c they seem to juggle it all! Between the 3 of them, they have 8 kids! Their lives are overflowing with kids, partners and life and they all seem to juggle everything with happiness and ease. It was amazing to listen to them.

We got home to Mom's and I went to sleep thinking (a little too much) about my own life. Now, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I do love so many aspects of my life, however, listening to my girlfriends talk about their kids and families made me painfully aware of what was missing in my own life.

It isn't always easy, but I know that in my moments of weakness, there is the greatest growth. Today I grew a little!

I am not sure what I had intended to write about for 365 days but the best and only thing to write about is, indeed, the truth. It won't always be ultra-happy thoughts. My mom was the greatest teacher for me when it came to the value of being truthful. She always said, "all that matters is that you tell the truth", and this is my truth.


Someday....
You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

Now we wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it’s good to be someone

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

I don’t wanna wait
I just wanna know
I just wanna hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

‘Cuz maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
We’ll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just to feel better now
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

Intentional living

It has been a wonderful "first day" of the One Year of Intentional Living Project, filled with family, friends and a great deal of gratitude. This is a photo of my twin-sister Carla and I along with her 2 year old twin daughters, Skylar and Sierra, as we celebrated our birthday. Photo: Skyler, me, Carla, Sierra.

I woke up today feeling quite excited after a very short sleep, since I was up so late, thinking about the coming year and this little project. I have been thinking about what "intentional living" means to me and I still don't have a clear answer to what living intentionally truly means for me. Not exactly out of character for me to jump in without having a total handle on the details. I think this character trait is something of a blessing and a curse for me - my strength and my weakness - and perhaps that is what I'm doing here...looking for clarity...not so much in the world around me, but within me.

I went for a run around the neighbourhood today and thought about what Day 1 could, should and/or would involve. Then, I realized that simply getting out running and feeling the crunching snow inder my runners was enough in itself. Enjoying the moment. This moment. And that's what living intentionally is about on this day. Today, I simply enjoyed the moment. Lots of moments. Playing at the indoor playland with Carla and her girls. Chatting with our other sisters. That strong cup of coffee this morning. Hanging out in the kitchen with Mom. Eating dinner together. Doing the dishes. Feeling loved. Reading more emails and facebook messages from friends than I could ever imagine receiving! Speaking on the phone with a number of significant and treasured friends/family I am so grateful to love and be connected to. Getting together with a few life-long girlfriends tonight for a glass of wine and chance to catch up. Today, living intentionally is about "living in THIS moment".

I remember a quote that Laura (a great friend and mentor) shared with me years ago that went something like...."Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather, by the number of moments that take our breath away".

It's only Day 1 and already, I feel short of breath.

Get to bed!

I am so excited about the next 365 days that I can hardly sleep!

My mom used to say, when we would be up late in our bedrooms, talking or laughing, "Get to bed!"

365 Days Of Intentional Living...starting tomorrow! My Birthday!

Today is December 19th. Well, it's actually the evening of December 18th...but it's around 1:30am, which makes it the 19th! I was born 39 years ago...today! In 12 hours to be exact. This moment is a wonderful time of introspection and gratitude for the countless blessings I have received throughout my life. I am writing my first blog at my mom's kitchen table. I'm home... visiting my mom. What a perfect place to be.

I recently heard a story and I'd like to share it with you because it describes my mom perfectly!

The story talked about all the historical cathedrals that have been built over the last century and how, in the past, builders would spend their entire lives building a cathedral that they would never see finished. After all, many of these works of art took more than 100 years to build. Builders worked, without ego or vanity and didn't need to have their name in lights above the doors. They worked in a community with others, together, building a masterpiece, and would likely never receive the glory or praise they deserved. They had vision and faith and worked intentionally and deliberately, day in and day out, for months, years and even decades, on projects that they may never see finished. They were invisible to many and years later, if anyone should ask, "Who built this cathedral?", no one would know the answer. In books, many of the greatest cathedrals were built "anonymously". No one knew their names. No one would ever know or notice all the little things the builders did, for all those years, to create that masterpiece.

My mom gave up her life - for all of us. Her 10 kids, over 20 grandchildren, not to mention her countless friends, relatives, and all who crossed her path. Her life has been a lot like the builders who built those cathedrals. She lived with faith and vision, never influenced by ego or vanity or the need to have her name in lights, and she worked tirelessly, to build our lives....my life...into a masterpiece.

Mom, thank you for all the things you did for me and for all of us, when no one was noticing. Thank you for being that anonymous builder in my life, influencing what I hope will one day be a masterpiece. You are my greatest inspiration. My most powerful teacher. You are a litmus test for truth and, without a doubt, your life is one of intentional living. I'd like to be more like you. In fact, I'd like to be a lot more like you, Mom. And this is my idea...

My goal is to create this little One Year Of Intentional Living project. I'm going to do my best to live more intentionally and write about it. It's mostly for me and I hope to share it with you one day. And if anyone should ever care to read it, I hope it inspires them to live a little more intentionally, and be the amazing builder of their own cathedral.

I love you Mom. Thank you for giving me life and for every moment of the past 39 years where you have always been "the wind beneath my wings".