Love at first sight!

Love at first sight!

I always believed in it but never experienced it before.

Before today, that is! Now I know, for sure, that YES, YES, YES, love at first sight does exist! I've spent my whole life dreaming of the day that love would all fall into place for me! Well, that day has arrived! Today! January 31st, 2010! I almost can't believe it! But it's true!

I always dreamed that I would just "know". That I would feel it in an instant. That we'd meet, feel the connection between us, know, tell eachother and that would be it. The rest would be history! Well, the rest is history!

I flew from Regina to Edmonton today and I had a funny feeling that today was going to be a day I'd not soon forget. I have this intuitive feeling sometimes and I just knew it was one of those moments where my inner voice, my intuition, was light years ahead of me. I went through security at the airport and sat down near the gate, waiting to board the plane to Edmonton. And then I saw him. The guy that always appeared in my dreams. He was everything I dreamed of. I'm actually pretty shy so I would never go up and talk to him. I hoped that I'd run into him on the way to the plane or something. I had an aisle seat and I thought, "maybe he'll be sitting next to me". Quite often it happens that I end up sitting by the most interesting people on the plane. I fly quite a bit and I am always filled with anticipation about who I'll meet sitting next to me. But, my seat was the very last row - next to the washrooms. NOT the best seats in the house. Clearly. I had thought of trying to change my seat but the only seats left were "middle" seats, so I opted for the back of the bus. It wouldn't be that bad, I figured. Besides, I never recline the seat anyway, so it didn't matter that my seat couldn't recline (last row - can't recline)and if I do have to get up to use the washroom, It's right beside me. How convenient. Anyway, I waited until the very end to board the plane, thinking that at least, I'd get to smile at him as I passed by. I was the last one on the plane and waited as people sat down so I could pass by to get to my seat.

And then I saw him. Back of the plane. Seat next to mine! All I could think was, "Oh My GOD!" I was nervous instantly. How silly, I know, but I just knew that something BIG was about to happen. I made my way to the back, smiled at him and then sat down. We didn't talk much for a few minutes but before the plane took off, we were deep into conversation. An hour seemed like only moments and the plane started it's descent way too quickly! It all reminded me of the movie "Up In The Air", but with a happy ending! And he's as cute as George Clooney.
It was as if we knew eachother forever. We laughed. We talked about a million different things. And at the end of it all, as we got off the plane, we gave each other a big hug and talked about how Serendipity just fell into our laps!

I gotta go b/c we've got a date tonight. Yay!

Mom, I love you!! You're going to love him!
Crystal

Later...


Yes - Love at first sight does exist! I'm certain of it! I'm also certain that it's important to have a sense of humour and to be able to laugh, laugh, laugh, when things go completely sideways! Today, I must admit, was not the day that I met my soul-mate, but rather, the day that went completely sideways!!!! As I bawled my face off in my rented car, on my way to the hotel, I called my sister to vent. After we hung up, I started to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Because sometimes, as my mom would say, that's all we can do! Laugh. Have a sense of humour. Find someone to talk to. Let it out and then let it go. Have hope and then pray that tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Now, I still believe in love at first sight and that I'll find the love I'm dreaming of, one day. But today was not that day. The seat was empty.
He must have missed the flight! ;)

PS: I'm SORRY for fibbing above. I hope you will forgive me and I sincerely hope that you have a silly sense of humour, as I do, especially when it's a really, really bad day. So, when things go completely sideways in life, I hope you laugh, laugh, laugh until the tears stop. For the record, I will NEVER fib again about anything, including the love of my life, who I just haven't met yet...and yes, I do believe he may just be seated next to me on the plane one day.

PPS: If you were filled with enthusiasm and joy as you read the first part of this -I HUMBLY say thank you for hoping for the best for me. Please continue to hold a positive vision for those you love...that they will find the one they love. Thank you.

PPPS: I love joking around, especially when things get too serious. And when things go completely off the rails, I usually find humour (and feel better) in poking fun at myself or a given situation. Thank you for sharing in my journey of living intentionally and for laughing with me until the tears have stopped.

They've stopped. Thank God!
Tomorrow will be a brighter day, I pray.

Where is your spirit calling you?

Tonight, Mom and Don, Mandy, April, Ryan (3 of Mom's amazing grand-kids) and Ryan's girlfriend Tasha and I sat around the dinner table for 3 hours, eating, talking and laughing.



We laughed...and laughed!

Later into the night, Mom, April, Mandy and I sat at the table together. Mandy and April are their 20's, having the time of their lives, living every moment to the absolute max! It's mesmerizing to sit and listen to them share their stories. They have many tales of fun and adventure. They remind me of "me" when I was their age. I see so much of myself in them. In their eyes. In their spirit. I wonder if Mom sees her spirit in us? Our entire family shares many common physical attributes (big teeth, blue or brown eyes that sparkle) and so many personality characteristics (an abundance of energy and positive outlook) as well.

Tonight, as i write this, I am reminded of the 2 questions I wrote about the other day...
1. where are you going?
2. who's going with you?
...because a similar question came to me today as if I were reading it on a billboard: "Where is my spirit calling me?"

I knew that was what I was supposed to think about right now and write about tonight.

In some areas of my life, I am completely certain of where my spirit is calling me, while in other aspects, I'm not sure. Listening to Mandy and April talk about their plans and ideas brought me back to my own dreams and ideas from years gone by. There is no one "right" answer that would remain true for our whole lives. In the past, I've been crystal clear, at times, on where my spirit is calling me, in every part of my life. Right now, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that it involves music (singing and playing the guitar) and the ocean. I am called to and complelled by these things. Today, I had a clear image upon contemplating this question. The ocean. The only image that came to me when I pondered this question was an image of me at the ocean.

I've always been called to the ocean. My spirit is alive when I'm traveling - and most of my travels has involved being near the ocean. I can't imagine actually living elsewhere, forever, but I could certainly see myself living part-time in a warm climate, near the ocean. I've always thought I would end up doing that.

I'm going to Mexico for a brief trip in February to finalize a few details for our DIVA Retreat in April, that's taking place in a tiny ocean-side village in Mexico. I'll be sure to take some time to just "be" at the ocean and allow my spirit to just soak up all that it craves from being there.

Until tomorrow.
To the spirit in all of us and to living intentionally by listening to where our spirit is calling us.
Love you, Mom.
Thank you for the wonderful evening.
Crystal

No Regrets.

Today, I am reminded of where I come from.

I did a speech for the Young Ag-Entrepreneurs of SK conference today. It was in my hometown of Regina, SK. There were a few people in the audience that were even from the town where I grew up; Southey SK. It's a very small world.

One guy came up after my segment of the conference and said, "You might not remember me but I sat on the school bus in the seat near you and your sister almost 30 years ago." At the time, we were about 7 years old. There were other members of the audience who married my school class-mates and still live in Southey. It's a great place to be from...and a great place to live now.

We grew up on a farm about a mile from town, in a big brick house that my grandma and grandpa lived in with my dad and all of his sisters and brothers, when they were young.

It's so wonderful to be at home, visiting my mom, seeing people that I knew 30 years ago and going through old photos and closets. It's a total gift to be able to come home to the same house we grew up in (not the farm but my mom's home in Regina). And the greatest gift is to see my mom.

Mom, I don't know what I would do without you! Time goes by too quickly. I am realizing this more today than ever before. I wish I could rewind time and spend a lot more time at home with you. I'm sorry I never made more time to come home from university or from Kelowna, once I moved there. Work always seemed to be so busy and get in the way. So true. Yet so sad. I am grateful for this project and making "living intentionally" a priority with all the wisdom you have taught me. I can't wait to see more of you. Don, I hope you don't mind. :)




















I want the next 10 years to go so slowly so that there's more time to spend with you. I want you to really know how much you mean to me, even if my actions have not always shown it. You live your life with no regrets, it seems. Meanwhile, i feel that I've got a few things to change before I could say that "I have no regrets." Most of all, I regret not coming home as often as I could have and I regret that I put my work first for so many years. I regret that I can't turn back time.
I hope and pray that you know how much I love you, need you and appreciate you.
Thank you for everything this week.

I'm stumbling tonight as I write this b/c I see just how much I have not been living intentionally over the years...how many regrets I would have if I had to tally it up at this moment...and how much I've forgotten where I come from. Living intentionally, for me, with my heart so full tonight, is about truly attempting to make up for lost time by creating space to have the time in my life for the people that I love most.

Mom, I love you.
Crystal

2 Questions to ask yourself - in order.

My friend Linda (in the center of the photo) is truly one of the most special and wonderful people I know. She shared with me 2 questions that we should ask ourselves - in order. I'm not sure where she heard this from, but I've often thought about what she shared with me and it's helped me find clarity a number of times. In this year of living intentionally, these 2 questions, asked in correct order, make even more sense to me.

They have to be asked in order.

Number 1:
Where are you going?

Number 2:
Who's going with you?

I've spent the past day or so at home with my mom and her husband Don. They live this same philosophy. They first live according to their own plan and path that they've set out for their own lives. Then, they keep company with people going in the same direction. I rarely hear my mom talking about people that pull her off her path of spirituality, values, family and what's important to her. It's the same for her husband Don. He curls, plays in the choir and fits a million different things into his life...b/c he knows where he is going.

Very cool! It's so nice so spend some time at home with Mom and Don.
I love you, Mom!

This brings me back to my vision board that I have been working on. It's all about the question - where am I going? I'm looking forward to finishing it when i get home and putting it up on the wall somewhere. I guess this is what living intentionally is all about. Knowing the direction we want to go. Having a vision. And then taking even small steps, every day, in that direction.

Life seems to be much less complicated these days. I'm glad. There are still moments when I feel overwhelmed with "life". Lots of moments like this. But it's all becoming much more simple as the days go by.

And more hope-filled.

Go get the Buckley's!

Living intentionally...

Simply sharing the same space together can be living very intentionally.

Tonight, I find myself back at my mom's kitchen table. What a cozy, perfect place to be! It feels great to be home, in the company of my Mom and Don, just sharing the same space, visiting, watching a movie and feeling very loved. I feel so blessed.

I caught a bit of a cold a couple of days ago and the first thing my mom said when she realized I had a cold was, "Go get the Buckley's".

It still tastes as bad as I remember. And it works!

The humidifier is in my room and I hope my cold will be gone tomorrow.


Thank God for mom's!

Mom, thank God for you!

Mom, tonight, I am reminded of what I already knew but apparently forgot! I should know that "Mom's generally know everything"! And you ALWAYS know everything! It was my plan to tell you about your blog on Friday night, after my work was finished. But, I should have known....that you would know about it already! I was stunned when you said tonight, "So, tell me what this blog thing is all about". I can't believe that you knew!!! I'm shocked! But I shouldn't be! You always knew everything! When we tried to sneak out of the house...you knew. When we were growing up, you were always 10 steps ahead of us, knowing what we did, before we even knew what we were doing!

I think God winks at you daily, if not hourly!

Mom, I love you! I hope you will enjoy reading a bit about what you've taught me, day by day, over the coming year. I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much you really are, the wind beneath my wings.

Love you,
Thanks for the Buckley's.
Good night,
Crystal

Live with abandon!

Yes! It is time to dance on the table! Sing at the top of our lungs! Live with abandon!

Tonight, a friend and I went to see Robert Fine sing. He's one of those Frank Sinatra "crooners" and he was fabulous!
It was amazing to see him sing b/c he's just so into the "moment". Loving what he is doing. Dancing on the tables. Singing at the top of his lungs. Living with abandon. In the zone. Bliss. Call it whatever you want. He was extraordinary!!

Linda and I had a great time, listening to the music, catching up, enjoying a glass of wine and talking.
Going out tonight and seeing Robert Fine on stage was an amazing reminder for me to think about what I LOVE to do! What I'm totally passionate about! What brings me JOY! What gets me into that coveted state of "bliss" that most people dream of but rarely find the time to experience!

For me, it's dancing. Definitely dancing. And maybe riding my bike. I LOVE both! It's time to do more of that! I leave tomorrow but when I get back I'm creating a plan to get out and experience a bit of the bliss I saw on stage tonight! Yay! This is what living intentionally is all about!

I remember, back in university, a girl-friend, Tania, and I drove from Saskatoon to Calgary for a "party"! We met my twin-sister in Calgary at the bar and all of us proceeded to dance like there was no tomorrow. At one point, the song YMCA came on and the narrow ledge that surrounded the dance floor just seemed to be calling our names. So, we jumped up and danced to this song on the ledge, along with a bunch of others. When the song was over, we all jumped down but it was quite high so there were a few people helping us down. When it came to my turn to jump down, I reached for the guy's hand. At the last second, he moved. (Thought it would be funny.) It was. I landed with my chin and hand hitting the floor first, spraining my wrist and cutting my chin sharply. For the record, I was completely sober, Mom. Carla grabbed me and rushed me to the bathroom where we used a bunch of paper towels to stop the bleeding. It didn't stop, so Carla tells me we're going to the hospital. Which we do. We're waiting in the Emergency for an hour or more. I got to lay down on a bed in a little room to wait. While I was there, I heard the people in the next little room. They were crying. The DR came in and told them that their relative had just died of a heart attack. I lay there in silence.

Life is short.

Too short.

To waste even a moment.

I didn't know what to think.

I'm glad that my DR came in at that point and told me to come with him. We found Carla and all 3 of us went to some sort of operating room. Carla sat in a chair in the room but couldn't stop laughing. I started laughing. It was very funny, all of a sudden. The DR laughed and told her to leave b/c we couldn't stop laughing. It was funny. Well, it was funny, until I got 5 stitches in my chin and the freezing wore off.

I still have scars to remind me of this hilarious trip to Calgary for a party, where living with abandon was what life was all about. It is time to do more of that. With good friends. Real friends. The kind you never have to worry about looking silly infront of. And with those kind of friends, being silly, looking silly, and laughing until you cry would be pure bliss!

Mom, I think you love dancing as much as I do b/c I must get it from somewhere. I remember trying on some of your old dresses when I was in university. Do you remember that long baby-blue one? It was gorgeous. I wish I had a photo of it! I can imagine you dancing to the Frank Sinatra style of music that was playing tonight. I wonder what you really love to do these days? I'm sure looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and asking you.
love you,
Crystal
PS If I didn't tell you about my chin before, now you know the real story.

Firm on principles - flexible on method.

I'm leaving on Wednesday for a week, so tonight I went to the hostel to talk to the manager, Ian, about the hostel and the coming week. Ian is from New Zealand and has been managing the hostel for the past year. He's brilliant! He is a fabulous manager for the team and he's extraordinary at working "on" the business, not just "in" it. He's come up with so many creative ideas for how to operate the hostel more efficiently and he's a great leader.













My philosophy is to be "firm on principles - but flexible on method".

Mom, you were the same way. We grew up with strict principles on how to live, how to behave and how to treat others. But you were never a "micro-manager" at all. I don't think you had time! You seemed completely flexible on how things got done. When we had chores to do - you just said - do them. You didn't give any other direction and you never watched over our shoulder. I remember working in the back yard, in the garden picking weeds or taking care of the lawn. Sometimes, just to make things interesting, I would do things differently (than what you would probably have done). But you didn't care. And if there was a problem, I remember you being more interested in having us figure out a solution than offering your own direction on the matter. Hhmmmm.... wow!

I'm so glad for all of this because I've learned to lead in the same manner. 12 years of owning the hostel, it still seems to be working. I'm grateful and blessed! As the years go by, I relinquish even more of the creative control of the business and the staff and guests come up with the BEST ideas! Way better than I could ever have come up with on my own!

I truly am blessed!
There are gorgeous murals on many of the walls in the hostel and the atmosphere is truly amazing. It's the happiest place on earth! There are travelers from around the world that stay with us and we have so many repeat customers, it's incredible!

Having a great team is the secret. And, thanks to you, Mom, learning to hold a positive vision, higher standards, of what could be possible...and then let go...and let the team do their thing has been instrumental. Staying firm on principles (clean, safe and friendly) but flexible on method, has been a big part of the reason the hostel has done so well.

The hostel turns 12 on February 12, 2010. I still remember the first day of ownership. There were 3 police cars there on the first night, helping us kick people out - who would not pay. (The hostel was a "crack house" when we bought it...but it had the right zoning for a hostel.) It's hard to believe time has passed so quickly...and almost effortlessly, it seems.

I know it's not without effort though. I remember the days, nights, the stress and the financial struggle that those first couple years contained. Looking back, I don't think I would trade any of it...I've learned so much. Mostly - thanks to my mom - I learned two very important things about leadership:
1. always be firm on principles (and tell everyone around what those principles are) and then be flexible on method.
2. hold a vision for others, where they are at their very best, and allow them space to rise to become the person you envisioned.

Thank you, Mom.
I love you!

Today is YOUR day!

Happy Birthday Mom!
Today is YOUR day! I know you've had a wonderful day, with a lot of the family home to visit and celebrate! I can hardly wait to see you on Wednesday!
I found a few photos of some great celebrations in the past:
Making ice cream at the cabin!

A gorgeous sunset at the cabin. I bet we couldn't count all the beautiful sunset's we've seen out there!

Your wedding day! Wow! What a family photo!

As I look at these photos and think of you, it's easy to see how you make every year, the best year ever! You start with you and your positive attitude and bring joy to every day. Then you add a little focus on the simple pleasures, like watching a sunset, or simply sitting by the fire or on the swing. And lastly, you put your family first. It's as simple as that.
Pretty simple recipe for creating the best year of your life =joy and a positive attitude + focus on the simple pleasures in life + family.
I love you, Mom!
Happy Birthday!
Love Crystal

Say it!

If you've got something wonderful to say, say it. If you think or feel it - say it!

Not for you, but for who ever might need to hear it.

My mom always seemed to know when we needed to hear her tell us that she loved us or when we needed some kind of encouraging words. She often told us how she felt. If she was happy, we knew it. If she was mad, we knew that too. But we always knew she loved us.

Tonight, I went to a fantastic party! I'm so glad I went! There was good conversation, great people, and yes, a little dancing, too! A great lady that I met about 6 months ago, was there. When I met Kelly, I felt an instant connection with her...like a sister. She had blue eyes that just sparkled and such a warm, welcoming personality. She shares many of my Mom's incredible gifts and, tonight, she shared those gifts to me. She took a moment to share some of her warm and wonderful thoughts of encouragement. On the one hour drive home, I thought of what she had said and, you know, it really amazes me how much of an incredible impact people can have, for others, when they take just a moment to tell someone how they really feel.

Kelly (in the center of the photo), and my mom, remind me not to let the moment pass...and to say what I feel...to let people know how much I love them and/or what I really feel....because I don't think we really get another chance to tell them in the same way.
Thank you for the wonderful night! As the song "I Got A Feeling" goes (which is what we were dancing to at this moment)...."I got a feeling...that tonight's gonna be a good night...that tonight's gonna be a good night....that tonight's gonna be a good, good night!"

And it was.

I'm so grateful. Good night.

Today, I called in sick!

Well...I didn't exactly call in sick. I just looked at myself in the mirror and said to myself, "YOU are taking the day OFF!"

This lovely gift to myself was inspired by someone I am very grateful to know; a friend and someone I admire greatly for her overflowing joy (especially when she laughs) and ability to be completely genuine and real. My friend, Brenda took the day off yesterday and shared with me, what an extraordinary day she had! She didn't call in sick. She wasn't sick. She didn't even call in at all. She simply took the day off to celebrate life. (Likely, she works so hard that taking the day off was probably applauded!)

So...what an extraordinary day today has been!

This morning, I woke up early, did a tiny bit of work, talked with one of my brothers on Skype (He's in Mexico) and then to a few friends on the phone and then did some stretching with my cat on the floor beside me. After that, I went for a glorious 1 hour and 45 min run in the sunshine! It was gorgeous! Gorgeous! Gorgeous! Gorgeous!!!! I thought about a new friend I met on Facebook who will be doing her second half-marathon this weekend! I hope her race is fantastic!

It's my first longer run since the Ironman race 7 weeks ago and it felt fabulous. I am constantly amazed at what a miracle the body is. I am so grateful and blessed to be able to run...to be injury-free...to be healthy...to be alive...and to be ME!

I can't really explain what I'm experiencing over the past couple months. In my Leadership Program (over the past 3 nights) with Inside Out Leadership Development, I shared that I realized (in a lightbulb moment lastnight) that I had not said my usual zillion "sorry's" lately. (Up until recently, I've had this habit of saying "sorry" for just about anything. When it didn't need to be said at all. It's an insecurity thing. I don't know why...but it's been a bad habit for years. For as long as I can remember, actually.)

It's a great feeling to feel good in my own skin. To feel more sure of myself. To feel more like ME! I'm reminded of Marianne Williamson's quote about "Our Deepest Fear". It feels good to not play so small anymore. For this, I am so grateful!

So, the rest of the day continued to be quite extraordinary in an ordinary sort of way. I called my mom on Skype and we had a great video-chat. She is amazing. She's got the greatest sense of humour. We laughed a lot. We are going to chat more on video-skype. I still can't believe she's so computer savvy! Remarkable!

After that, I went to wash my car at the "do it yourself" car wash. I used to always wash my car at the drive-thru car wash until I met Doug. Doug always washed his vehicles by hand. It's better for the car and better for one's spirit, I think. Doug and I spent a few incredible years together, up until a couple years ago. We're still friends and I'm so grateful for that. He taught me many things, but most importantly, he taught me what true love was. I don't think I've ever loved someone, or been loved by someone, with such care and genuine friendship ever before. I hope we'll always be friends.
It was a wonderful day of intentional living. Every moment of it! I went grocery shopping (which I love to do) and then took some supplies to the hostel and hung out there for a bit (which I have loved doing more and more of lately), cleaned out the storage room where all the supplies and consumable stuff is stored (which is absolutely one of my favourite jobs) and then visited with the staff and guests for a bit. I am completely surrounded by people that I love and who love me - everywhere I turn...at work, my family (even if I only talk to some of them on skype b/c they don't live nearby), friends, colleagues...sometimes I stop and think "Who should be so lucky?" "Why am I so lucky?"

Gwen and I decided to get together tomorrow instead of tonight. We're both exhausted. So, Saturday will be filled with filling in at the hostel for a few hours so the manager could stay at the ski resort tonight. I can't remember when I actually "worked" in the hostel! I am probably going to make a million mistakes! the new staff should not learn from me! :) Then...some intentional, quality "sister time". And tomorrow night....YES, I am going to a party!!

Mom, I'll take a few photos for you. I can't wait to see you on Wednesday. Thank you for the skype chat today. I thought about you on my run and hope you know how much you are loved.

Mom, today, I lived intentionally, doing ordinary things like going for a run, washing the car and going grocery shopping...but it wasn't ordinary at all. I did what you do - all day. You are always kind to people,strangers and friends, you smile at them, you talk to the lady at the check-out counter at the grocery store and brighten her day, you are so giving, attentive, a great listener, generous, respectful and you make the world better just by being in it. Today, I did what you do. When there are jobs or tasks like cleaning out the storage room or hauling in a bunch of groceries to the hostel, it didn't matter what I was doing - I was joyful.
You live in a state of joy every day. I saw it on your face today on Skype. Thank you.
I love you, Mom. See you soon!
love Crystal
PS: Mom, I think you need to "call in sick" tomorrow and take the day JUST FOR YOU!

Go play!

My mom used to say this when we were under-foot or in the way, usually when she was making dinner.

We would invariably wander off and go play. We had lego, dolls, light-bright, play dough, that green gooey "slime" (that we would hang from the chandelier in the kitchen), a big sandbox in a tractor tire and slinkie's. Having 9 brothers and sisters always meant there was someone to play with....or bug.



Today, a friend and I were talking about the fact that neither of us make time to get out and play enough in our lives. We were discussing how little we actually get out to have FUN! But that's what life's about. She did tell me that she has Tim McGraw concert tickets for March 2010 in Vancouver and that her husband can't go with her since he'll be away working. Too bad for me! I am working that week in Edmonton, so I can't go.

But wouldn't that be amazing? A trip to the coast, a great concert, quality car conversation, maybe some shopping and tons of laughter! Now, that sounds like fun!

It's time!

Time to incorporate a little more play in my life!

What does "playing" look like for me? Well, definitely playing my guitar. Snowboarding. Getting out with friends. Dancing. Even exercise is kinda like playing. Hmmm...it's actually hard to come up with a big list of what I love to do to play. Perhaps, this is where it starts. I need to make a list of what I love to do:
- dancing (definitely #1)
- socializing with friends
- snowboarding
- running, cycling or training for my Ironman races (anything sports-related)
- playing the guitar
- watching movies
- doing anything artsy like painting
- getting together with my best friends and doing most anything
- getting out on my paddle board with my little sister (the stand-up paddle boards like in Hawaii)...this is our favourite summer activity out on the water!

I think I need to take some time to think about what "play" really looks like for me.

Mom, what I do know is this, though! I'm going out on the town this weekend! Gwen and I are going to hang out Friday night and then on Saturday, I'm going to a party! Yay!!! A BIG party! There will be some great friends there from my tribe, lots of laughs and dancing!!!

I'm so excited!! I can hardly wait!

Mom, I love you.
You remain my greatest inspiration, and are truly, the wind beneath my wings.
Crystal

You don't get what you want. You get what you picture!

When I was a kid, I loved to read. My favourite books were The Bobsy Twins, Tom Sawyer and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Nancy Drew. Then I got into those books where you could decide the various endings and in my early adulthood, I was already into personal development books, Anthony Robbins and Jim Rohn among many others. I loved inspiring stories and any book where I learned something about people, motivation, goal-setting and happiness. In university, I read books, my texts - not included, and I became my university dorm's library. I worked as a Resident Advisor for 3 years while going to university and got to know everyone in the 14 storey building. It was my job (along with my team) to make sure the 40 apartments with 6 students in each apt were all getting along, keeping their place clean and basically doing well (which means no excessive partying and keeping good communication with one's roommates). I used to lend out my books to people who I thought might benefit from them. Looking back, I was always on my own path when it came to personal development but I was certainly a normal student when it I came to going out on the town, dancing at least twice per week and having fun. I also worked at the campus bar, which kept my social life in full gear. I rarely drank so working at the bar was a great way to stay connected.

This is a total digression. It's late. But I do have a focus here and it's probably the key for me, to living intentionally.

I still love to read today and my library is incredible! This is a photo of one of my bookshelves in my office today.

My mom also loved to read. Well, that is, until Don (her husband) came on the scene a few years ago. Now, they don't have time to read. They're too busy out living life in a wonderful way!

Anyway, it was in university that I read the phrase, "You don't get what you want. You get what you picture." This perplexed me, but I figured it out. I really don't get what I want in life...unless I can envision it, picture it, see it in my mind - first!

And so it goes...

I believe in the whole concept of visualization. I've used it often in my work, Ironman races and in the adventures/mis-adventures I find myself on. Visualization has been an incredible tool for me in so many ways. When I would run or ride my bike, I'd visualize finishing my Ironman race, with arms outstretched, smiling, and I'd even envision (and write down) what I thought my finish time would be for several races. The results were so accurate, it's scary. Last month, in my Cozumel Ironman race, I came within 1 minute of my documented goal (in a 14 hour Ironman race), not to mention that I had forgotten what my goal was. The entire marathon, I wondered, "what did I write down for my projected goal"! I've come within 9 minutes in two other Ironman races. What this tells me...is to be very careful of what I envision! And to set the bar much, much higher!

Tonight, I attended the second evening of a great leadership program with Inside Out Leadership Group and they talked about visioning. We did a visioning exercise. The task was to "envision our best life. What do I want to be doing in my life? and "What do I want to be like, as a person, in my vision of my very best self".

With my eyes closed, I immediately saw myself doing much of what I am doing now, organizing charity missions to Central and South America, making an incredible difference in the world and loving every moment. I also envisioned myself speaking and sharing my experiences and stories on huge stages with large audiences as well as with just a few people in small groups. I envisioned that I have a great sense of inner confidence and peace and overflowing joy and happiness. I also envisioned that I had all the time in the world to really strengthen my relationships with my freinds and family.

There was also another part of my vision that I tried to shut out b/c I didn't think it ws part of the task at hand. Now, I realize that this other part of my vision was definitely part of the exercise.

The other part of my vision included images of me laughing, hugging and celebrating with a tall, dark-haired man with a gorgeous smile and great glow about himself. We were standing in my kitchen. I saw me laughing, smiling and wrapping my arms around him. He was dancing and laughing with me. It was amazing.

However, I tried to move this thought from my mind and focus on the rest of my vision. After all, this was a work-related exercise. No time for daydreaming. Or so I thought. The image would not leave my mind. It still hasn't. It's very strange. I have no explanation. But I do have a LOT of hope...in possibility!

I'm not sure what it all means. However, I know that the mind is an incredible thing and I do believe that we ultimately get...what we picture.

Mom, as I write this tonight, I'm seriously wondering what you were thinking when I was in university, working 3 jobs, not spending too much time on school, but certainly loving life. You are the most amazing mom! Thank you for all the freedom, flexibility and faith you had in me. Also, Mom, thank you for holding a positive vision for me and our whole family. You are the most powerful visionary in my life. love you, Crystal

Who's in your tribe?

Be careful who your friends are.

My mom always knew who my friends were when I was young. I think she liked most of them. She knew their parents. She knew where they lived. And she knew if they were the kind of friend that was good to have.

But, there were a few times when she knew that whoever I was hanging out with was not the kind of friend that was good to have. She'd say, quite bluntly at times, "Be careful who your friends are." I've figured out (Well, I think I have...), decades later, that she assessed whether a friend was good or "not so good" based on one thing. And one thing only. She'd look at my behavior and know instantly if I was hanging in the right crowd - or the wrong crowd. If I was happy - I was with the right friends. But when I got edgy or if I was too consumed with my appearance, easily frustrated, or wouldn't engage in a solid connection with her, she knew I was not on my right path and was then surrounded by the wrong crowd.

Just recently, I've been reminded just how important it is to surround myself with the right kind of people. When I'm working with the right people, work doesn't feel like work. Life is a whole lot more fun. I'm more "myself" and everything works in my life! It all just works! Effortlessly!

As I write this, it is 1:26am. Yes, it really is! I had a full day of work, followed by a visit with my sister who's still visiting and then I went to a leadership course offered through Inside Out Leadership. And, after all that, at 10:00pm, I was back at the hostel painting one of the bedrooms with a few guests/staff b/c we're getting new carpet in it tomorrow. It might be 1:26am but I feel completely energized - because I was surrounded by the right "tribe" all day and night. Of course, I will be tired in the morning, but not 1/2 as tired as I would be if I was surrounded by the wrong tribe.

Wow. It really is that simple. I just need to take a look at my own behaviour, actions, feelings, self-talk...to know if I'm surrounded by the right people. Then, the secret is to honour that awareness.... and find a new tribe if I need to.


One of the best parts of today was spending an hour with my friend and colleague, Melanie. We are planning a retreat that will be held in Mexico from April 24 - May 2, 2010, for 24 women. The Retreat is called "DIVA Retreats". DIVA stands for "Discover your Inner Voice Adventure Retreat"....and it's for women who want to basically discover their inner voice through various activities and adventures. Today we did a bunch of brainstorming, discussing, finalizing details and working on this amazing retreat, together. We will be offering everything from humanitarian projects, yoga, personal development, surfing lessons, outdoor adventures, salsa classes and so much more. We are the kind of friend that's good to have, for one another.

Mom, thank you for helping me to see how important it is to create the right tribe and surround myself with the right people, who see my gifts, vision and are willing to be honest with me and call me on my "stuff" when they need to. love you, Crystal
PS: Even though I didn't thank you years ago, thanks for giving me your opinion and clear direction on that guy (wrong tribe) that I dated in highschool for a short time. You were right. :)

Practise! Practise!

When I was about 12 years old, I took organ lessons. It wasn't something I was proud of. My mother made me do it!

I hated the organ. I hated the lessons. I hated practising. And, I hated the recitals most of all because it was there that my lack of practising became clearly evident. Especially when, in a group song (played with other kids), my foot (on the pedals) was not moving in unison with theirs. Only the really short kids who could not reach the pedals were allowed to avoid playing them. I, however, was not one of those blessed few.

It's been decades since I've even thought of the organ or those awful lessons. I should probably send a card of apology to my teacher, b/c I certainly was her bane of frustration.

I must admit that, now, years later, I am VERY glad for those lessons. (My mom is going to flip when she reads this!) :) The reasons are obvious. In those lessons, I learned the various aspects of music: timing, notes, chords, an "ear" for music, and so much more.

Today, I had another lesson on the guitar with Matt, who is simply amazing! I love the song I'm learning:Opportunity, by Pete Murray. Admittedly, I'm a complete novice, but I know more than I thought I did about playing a musical instrument! I recall the 4-count, chords, my ear hears notes (especially the ones that are wrong) and I have a great deal of hope that I can actually learn to play this song! It's amazing! I can't believe it! I am so excited!!!!!!


It is so much easier to learn, having someone to teach me the basics of the song, along with the opportunity to see how it is played.

Hhhhmmm....it does make me think about how often I choose to "do it myself", on my own, without help in the rest of my life. I wonder how much easier life would be if I asked for help. You know, I cannot even remember how exactly it worked out that I was able to receive a couple guitar lessons, but do know that having someone to learn from is making this process so much more fun, so much easier and so much less complicated! I bet life would be a lot more fun, easier and a whole lot less complicated, too, if I asked for help a little more.

Wow! Today, I grew a little!

I am inspired!

Mom, I am serious about being thankful for those terrible organ lessons. You did say that I'd be thankful one day. Well, "one day" is today. Thank you. love you, Crystal

Better late than never.

I am a self-professed "Slow Learner"! I belong in the slower group at this moment.

Lastnight I was reminded of one of the most basic fundamentals of intentional living. I should have known better. I DO know better! I just forgot. I wasn't paying attention.

I wasn't being "fully present".

My sister said, "I just want to spend time with YOU." She was referring to the laptop I often bring when I come and casually hang out at their place. Or the other work-related things that I can "multi-task" while visiting with her. Or the guitar I brought over to play my new song that I'm learning. Or...(I could go on and on, sadly.)

It's true. Often, when my sister and I get together, we're usually doing something while hanging out together. She might be cleaning. I might be 1/2 working on a project. She might be puttering. I might be doing paperwork. Or, we might be working on something together. We're always there for one another and are very, very close. We talk every day, even if only for a few minutes, just to check in.

But it's not right to give only 70-80% of my attention to her when we're together. It was a sad realization that I had been taking her for granted. Neither one of us has really been giving 100% of our attention to the other when we get together.

So, while being a slow learner, I decided that today was going to be a day of complete and utter intentional living! What a difference it makes!

Who knew?

My other sister (who is visiting for the week) and I went running for an hour. It was fabulous. Then, we went for lunch, which was also excellent, followed by a winery tour and then lighting a fire in my fireplace and visiting for a couple hours. It was a wonderful day!

Yes, I am a slow learner. But today, I gave 100% of myself to the people who I spent time with. I felt more present. More connected. More intentional. And that felt great!

Tonight, I went to the hostel and spent an hour learning to play the song, Opportunity, with Matt and a few other guests. I don't have words to describe my excitement over learning to play the guitar. I've wanted to learn to play for years. 12 to be exact. Since I started the hostel. Yes, that is a long time. A very long time.

Better late than never!

My mom used to say this when we would follow through, a little later than she would have liked, on something she asked us to do.

Yes, better late than never. Thanks, Mom! Love you. I can hardly wait to play a song for you! love Crystal

What is your vision?

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart...who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Carl Jung

I can hardly believe that almost a month has passed since starting this "year of intentional living". I've learned a great deal, even in this short time, but 3 things stand out for me:

1. Clarity is everything. My desire to live more intentionally is a wonderful thing. However, unless I am crystal clear on what this specifically means to me, it's of no great value or benefit. I'm realizing that I need to be more clear on what exactly "intentional living" means to me and I want to refer more often to my list of dreams, goals and aspirations that i wrote about early on in this project. This will help me to stay focused and be a litmus-test for future decisions/actions/etc.

2. The gift is in the giving. This project initially started out as a gift idea for my mom's 75th birthday next year. I soon realized that, while my mom is (I hope) going to love this creative expression of love for her, the real gift is bestowed upon me. Over the past 30 days, I've thought about my mom, the wisdom I've learned from her and the love she has for me (and all of us) every day (several times per day)...and acted on this wisdom! This is an incredible gift to me.

3. It is possible to get over my desire for treats and chocolate (Slowly. Very slowly.).

Tonight, I sat down and decided to start creating a new vision board. It's by no means complete, at this point, but it's a start with key anchor words and a foundation for many ideas that I would like to experience in 2010 and beyond.


Mom, you've probably never made a vision board before...but you certainly had a clear and compelling vision! I am so inspired by your vision and I am so grateful for your help in creating mine. love you, Crystal

They're not ours forever.

"They're not ours forever. We only get to take care of them for a while."

In 1996, we took a trip to the local SPCA and were chosen by a feisty bright orange tabby kitten, that we fittingly named Cougar. We loved him and his very assertive personality. He was often found up on the roof of the house or prowling down the block. He would stay out all night and then meow at 4:00am when he wanted to come inside. Naturally, he was often crossing the street and we worried about this. Two years after we brought him home, he did get hit by a car and died. I was back at my mom's in SK for a friend's wedding. Miles, who I was married to at that time, called me to tell me about our cat. I was so sad and so very disappointed that I didn't get to say goodbye...

My mom said something I didn't understand at the time. She said, "They're not yours forever. You just get to take care of them for a while."

Exactly 24 hours later, Miles called again, only to say that a different cat, just a kitten, with exactly the same markings as Cougar(bright orange tabby fur, long tail, white tip on it's tail) had just walked up our front steps, through the door, into the dining area, walking right in front of Miles, passing him to go up to where Cougar always slept, stopping to eat some of the food that had been for Cougar, on his way. Miles was speechless on the phone as he explained that this new cat had just walked past him. He was never one to believe in anything other than fact, so this was shocking to him. I begged him to keep it inside until the next day when I would be returning home. He did. I got home and was dumbfounded at what I saw. It was Cougar - only younger with a much more friendly demeanour. We fed this new kitty, played with him and then knew that we had to open the doors and let him out, so he could return home. He stayed close by for another day. The next day, we were driving by our own house and we noticed a small group of people on the opposite side of the street, gathered together. We slammed on the brakes and I jumped out, running to the group of people, knowing (feeling) that something had happened to the new little kitty.

Our worst fears were true and this little kitty had just been hit by a car. It was heart-wrenching.

I couldn't make any sense of what had happened. Except that when Miles had called to tell me that Cougar had passed away, just two days prior, I begged and pleaded for a "sign" to tell me that Cougar was OK. I needed a chance to say goodbye. When the new kitty, that looked exactly the same, seemed to make his home with us, the very next day, even for just a couple of days, it seemed to be a sign visible enough for me and it was my opportunity to say goodbye. I am still wondering, even now, if it was all real, even though I know it was. I saw things with my own eyes.
In the end, I can only reason that something unexplainable happened, far too much of a coincidence to be one, and, for some reason, it healed my sadness almost instantly.

A few months later, we went back to the SPCA and found Scotia sitting there, in the cage, and I just knew she was coming home with us.

Scotia was adorable. She still is. Twelve years later, Scotia is still here. But I know she's not mine forever. I just get to take care of her for a while. The past couple of weeks, she's been out of sorts and I feel that something is wrong. She's not feeling well and is certainly not herself these days. I know it's not her time to go yet. But it does make me realize that time passes so quickly and it's up to me to make the most of it. It's up to me to celebrate every day, live intentionally and never let something go unsaid or unfinished, because it's rare that we get a second chance to say good bye.


Mom, thank you you for this life lesson about loving, giving and celebrating every day. love Crystal

Girls, help each other!

It has been so incredible to think about and remember all sorts of moments and memories from growing up and all that my mom has taught me over the years

I've been making notes about various things my mom said or did. I can hear her voice in my mind as I remember all the simple yet profound wisdom she expressed.

"Girls, help each other!" was another of her great lines. She'd holler out to us and tell us to help one another do what ever it is that we were doing...from bringing in groceries from the car (and one particular item was too heavy for one of us to carry) or when we were bagging leaves in autumn and one of us needed to hold the bag while the other put the leaves into it. She instilled a sense of teamwork in me that I still thrive on today.

It's strange to think about, but in the hostel that I own, all I really care about is "the team". If the team functions well, the business will run smoothly. I'm learning so much through this project, just how much of an impact my mom and her wisdom has had on me. My values have largely been shaped by her wisdom and how she lived her life.

"Help each other" is universal wisdom and great advice. If it were a question it could be "How can we help each other?".

Tonight I went to the West Kelowna Chamber of Commerce monthly meeting held at our family's business, Flaman Fitness. Everyone was there to network, grow their businesses and help each other. It was a fabulous evening with lots of camaraderie and conversation. On a more personal, deeper level, I think everyone wants (and needs) to be valued, validated and, ultimately, loved. For who they really are. That's what I think it's all about. Helping and loving each other.













My sister Kate is here visiting and helping Gwen with some painting in her house and we were all at the event tonight. Some very special friends came to the event as well. We're all doing our best to just help each other...helping each other to get things done, to grow, to be "more", to be secure, happy and fulfilled.












It makes me wonder how I can help others in a more intentional way. Jim Rohn said that "the key to greatness, in business and in life, is to find a way to serve or help others".

Mom, you lived your life in service of others. You also made me so aware of how important it is to work as a team and help each other. I'm so grateful. Grateful for you, for everyone that came out tonight, for my very special friends and for my sisters...love Crystal

For the record: it's been 2 weeks without chocolate and junk food, minus that delicious rice crispy cake that I devoured last week. 2 more weeks to go! I can hardly wait for those home-made chocolate chip cranberry cookies!

What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of? My mom would ask me this when I came to her with a decision I had to make. She ALWAYS had good questions. She'd want me to think about what I was really afraid of, what I feared and what my underlying reasons were for choosing one direction over another.

What am I afraid of?

Good question. I would like to say "I don't know." (Or "nothing") but that would be the easy way out. A cop-out. A lie. Whenever I say those words, "I don't know", I know that I just don't want to think, feel or do the hard work to figure it out. I say those words when I want to be lazy and live by default and not by intention.


So...what am I afraid of? To be honest, I'm afraid of what it would really be like to let my light shine. Now, I know that I already do shine pretty brightly, yet I know that there is so much more potential inside of me. I think we've all got more potential inside of us. I think we're all probably afraid to let our light shine, afraid of reaching our potential, living as brightly as possible, valuing our worth...because, doing that leads to a certain responsibility. A responsibility to then live that potential. That would be amazing...and scary.

I love Marianne Williamson's quote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This quote speaks to me on such a deep level because it goes straight to my heart, to my soul and to the truth. It give me hope, courage and helps me get a tiny bit closer to the edge of that cliff to take the plunge...to let my light shine brightly.
Today, I went to get my haircut and my hairdresser, Ken, who is an extraordinary conversationalist, was telling me a story of how he asked himself the question, "Is that the best you can do?". Great question. His answer was "no".

The question then becomes, "What are you going to do about that?"

Tonight, I ask myself the same question "Is that the best I an do? Is that the best I've got to give?" No, it's not. But, I'm doing the best I can. Writing this blog for almost a month now is ensuring that.

I think we are all doing the best we can. That is enough. And maybe, if we keep asking the question, "Is this the best you can do?", not with an eye of criticism but, rather, encouragement and hope, we'll get closer to an answer of "yes".

I know of a number of people who are saying yes! As the turmoil continues in Haiti, I know that Paul Farmer, founder of Partners In Health, is there. A book is written about his life, by Tracy Kidder, and it embodies the question, not "what are you afraid of", but rather, it's about letting your light shine and rising to that potential...and then asking "What are you going to do about it?".

It's an extraordinary book. One of my favourite. I've researched on the internet today and CNN among many other news links are all indicating that Partners in Health is one of the best places to donate to if people would like to support the relief work in Haiti right now b/c they've been there for years and have more resources and infrastructure already set up than other NGO's.


Mom, thank you for always asking the very best questions. For making me think. For helping me see that what I am most afraid of has a great big lesson and gift in it, when I take the plunge and move through it
Mom, one more thing: you truly are brilliant gorgeous, talented and fabulous. love Crystal

Ken - you're brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous, too. Thanks for the asking the question, "Is that the best you can do?" and for the great haircut.

We are, each of us, angels with only one wing.

We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we can only fly embracing each other.
Luciano De Crescenzo

My entire life has been filled with hugs, hugs and more hugs. Our family grew up very close to what existed on the show, "The Waltons". Everyone hugged when they greeted one another (especially our mom) every morning and again at night when going to bed. It was just what we did. Family functions were spent talking, laughing, dancing (if we were lucky) and exchanging hugs. Everything wasn't perfect, by any stretch, but we were always taught that affection, hugs and being close with one another, was just the way it was to be.

My mom is the architect of family relationships in our house when we were growing up. She remains the glue that holds everyone (10 kids, their spouses and well over a dozen grand kids) together. Her hugs are like no other. There were so many hugs and "I love you's" shared over the years, all rituals started by my mom.

My sister, Gwen, gives the most amazing hugs...a skill she learned from mom. She is the brightest light in the room. The living embodiment of authenticity and an angel, like no other. We talk every day, most of the time to just check in and say hi. And she really does give the very best hugs ever.

Mom and Gwen, you really are angels in this world, sharing your love, your energy and your demand for what is "real"...and, of course, your hugs. Thank you.

Today, while working and doing errands, I was able to connect with a few friends and colleagues. We must have all grew up watching "The Waltons" because everyone consistently greets one another by exchanging hugs. It is wonderful. I think it is true...that we really are like angels with only one wing...and it is only by embracing one another that we are able to fly, literally and figuratively.

(Three of my sisters and I.)

What a way to connect. To live intentionally. To support one another. Just like the personal mission of Juan Mann, (free hugs campaign)a man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

I'm sure some people (the knuckle hand-shaker's) would be so appauled but it would be great to try to be a little more like Juan Mann regarding his vision to reach out to others. I'm going to try that, even more than I do now. Lets see what happens.

Today, I feel blessed - to be a friend - to have friends - and to share in embracing one another so that we are able to fly.

Don't give up, dear.

I'm working late tonight.

Yes, I'm working late tonight...mostly because I took the day off today and went snowboarding! On a Monday! Can you believe that? Yay!! I wish I had photos. It was a completely spontaneous thing to do. It's not often that I would say yes. Certainly not last winter or any winter before that. I had work to do then.

But this winter. Wow. I'd certainly say yes much more easily now than ever before. I'm loving this new shift in perspective that actually started 8-10 months ago. Do they call this "progress"? There is still a tiny part of me that isn't sure.

I'm so excited to be living with greater intention, making the important things in life more of a priority and focusing on what really matter to me. But, I also feel some of my work-related projects slow down in pace and production. I'm not getting as much done as I used to or would like. If I used a sport analogy, it feels like I've slowed down my pace and am no longer able to keep up with the fast group. I've now joined the slower group. I'm OK with that when I think about how much more meaningful my life has become over the past year and especially in the past month. However, it is going to take some adjustment.

My heart and spirit are soaring right now and I'm so grateful for that. My mind isn't sharing in the delight quite as much though. I am perplexed.

My mom often said, "Don't give up, dear." when I was struggling or working through something (tangible or intangible) like this.

I remember fixing the lawn mower outside one spring, after it was accidentally left outside (in Saskatchewan, no less). I'd been fiddling with it all afternoon, taking things apart, going to buy gas for it, washing out the spongy thing, putting oil into it, etc. (I love that sort of thing.) At one point, Mom called out through the deck door, "Don't give up, dear." She was always around when you needed her. It was like she had eyes on all sides of her head. Looking back, I am sure she was watching from the kitchen window, making sure I was OK.

I still love a challenge. I love to try to fix things or make things work better. It's not that I'm so stubborn (although, many would beg to differ), but rather, that I want to see if I can do it. It's a personal quest. Like the "no treats or chocolate" thing. I want to see if I can do it. It's not about perfection though, it's about doing my best.

When ever I am struggling with something, for as long as I can remember, I usually hear my mom's voice in my head, saying "Don't give up, dear." It puts me in a great space to enjoy the challenge, whatever it is, rather than getting frustrated. I heard it today as I was snowboarding, falling, wiping out, face-planting, crashing and sliding down the mountain. (It's only my 4th time snowboarding. You can imagine...it was a total comedy of errors.) Tonight I hear it again, as I try to make everything work and fit together in my mind, spirit and heart.

Mom, thank you for what ever you did to make me enjoy a challenge, rather than get frustrated by it. Some of the most challenging things I've done have been with a grin on my face that stretches from ear to ear b/c I'm so happy in that moment. I see photos of my Ironman races and wonder where that big grin comes from. I know it's from you. Mom, this is probably one of the greatest gifts you have given me. This welcomed and almost joyful perspective around challenges has shaped my life in so many wonderful ways. Thank you. I love you.