Wisdom from my mother...

Today...I got a call from a friend who is going through some "things".

We're all going through "things" at one point or another and I felt so honoured that this particular friend chose to call me. Partly b/c I just feel so blessed that people would want to confide in me. Partly b/c I think I made a little difference to this person at a time when they needed it.

So, when my friend called, I listened for a while, tried to understand the situation and then shared some wisdom...wisdom that I know has come from my mother!

This is some of what I shared. General thoughts. But important wisdom that I know is timeless. I had to write down what came out of my mouth during our conversation b/c I said to myself, "hey Crystal...write this stuff down...you're going to need to read it sometime when you're having a difficult moment."

Mom, thanks for what you taught me:
= Whatever it is...it's not really about what it seems to be about. The current situation is likely just the symptom or catalyst right now...for something deeper. If it wasn’t this issue right now...it would probably be something else.

= we're all doing the very best they can...if the other person could do better...they would. They simply don’t know how. And sometimes...neither do we.

= We might feel like the ‘gong show child’ now and then...but really, everybody else feels the same way, too, at one point or another. (FYI: Being the "Gong Show Child" is like thinking "OMG, when will I get my life together!" It's just another term for "Hmmmm....my life might be a tad out of control at the moment.")

= we are never, ever, totally alone. There is always someone to reach out to. We just have to make the first step to reach out...

= in the right environment, with the right friends, there is no judgement. None.

= and with the right people beside us, we can get through anything.

= whatever it is...it's "temporary". This, too, shall pass.



= God wouldn’t give this to you to deal with right now if He didn't think you couldn’t handle it...and when you see only one set of footprints, you know what happened.




= this is one great big, fabulous, awesome learning opportunity!


= we can't force anyone to do anything or to think a certain way...just as they can’t force us... it all just goes back to the fact that everyone is just doing the best they can...

= stimulus and response...it's a basic concept but has the power to change lives! If we can try to not “react” to the situation...but to think about it clearly, slowly and create some awareness about: the real truth of the situation (that it has nothing to do with what it seems to be about) and also create some awareness about ourselves:our own beliefs, values, feelings, etc....Then we can begin to ‘act’ clearly and intentionally and not react....to things.

= Make sure the other person knows that you loves them and that your actions are not to “get back” at them for anything...but rather to simply live your life in the best way possible for you...after all, it's your life.

= When people try to control a situation or other people, they do this sometimes when they are out of control themselves...and don’t know how to deal with that so they just deflect and focus on something else so they don’t have to deal with themselves or their own issues.

= I try not to allow drama or negativity into my life. If it causes drama...it shouldn't be in my life. If it causes excitement...that's a completely different thing. It's good to know the difference b/c sometimes drama can look (momentarily) like excitement.

= We’re all insecure and just want to be loved, appreciated, validated and cared about...ourselves...and that other person.

= At the end of our conversation, I shared a story about my mom and a boy I dated in highschool. I was in grade 9 or 10. He was in grade 11 or 12. He was a football star (in our school) and he was popular. I was young. I wanted to be liked and wanted to be part of the "in" crowd. My mom didn't like him. But she didn't forbid me from seeing him. She told me she didn't approve and left it at that. Well, within a month or two, I realized that we didn't have that much in common, after all, and we parted ways. But if my mom had forbade me from dating him, I'm sure I would have rebelled and dated him just b/c I "couldn't".

Mom...thank you so much for the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them! Thank you so much for being such an incredible parent!

So...at the end of the day.... if we can can realize that whatever the arguement seems to be about - it's not. It's really about something deeper and more meaningful. If we can keep our environment (around us and within us) positive, if we can hold people to a higher standard and have faith that people will rise to it, if we can give people freedom to make their own choices without feeling pressured or threatened or controlled, and if we can express ourselves honestly without reacting but with love, if we can remind ourselves that we're all just doing the very best we can and if we can see that we all want the same things...to be loved, appreciated, validated and recognized for who we really are...then whatever it is that's blowing our world up....won't seem sooo overwhelming.

Mom - thanks for all your wisdom.
Living intentionally today was about listening, being available, reasurring and sharing what you taught me.
thank you.
love you,
crystal

Best friends...

A hug is the shortest distance between friends. ~Author Unknown

This is my best friend.
My sister Gwen.
The person that I can tell anything to.
The one who is always there for me.
And who I am always there for.

I've got her back.
And she's got mine.
She's my inspiration.
I'm her biggest fan.

I'd do anything for her.
And I mean "anything".
And I know she'd do the same.

We cheer eachother on.
Call eachother every day.
Share in eachother's fun.

We bring out the best in eachother.
And love and hug eachother like no other.

Mom...you saved the very best for last. Gwen, your #10, is truly the best friend anyone could ever dream of having.
love you,
Crystal

Living with a "light" heart...

Even though it took place years ago, I remember the moment as if it were this morning.

I didn't know it at the time, of course, but a I look back and reflect... it was one of those few pivotal moments in in my life that changed the course or direction of my path forever...so much so, that I cannot even fathom who I would be...had that day not been "my" day!

It was 9 years ago...
I was (and still am) a member of this amazing group called the "Junior Chamber". They were having a public speaking competition. They had this "effective speaking" competition every year...and being too shy, I didn' sign up to compete right away. A couple years passed and finally...I thought I was ready. I signed up for the local competition within our group.

There was virtually no competition and I was grateful. I practised my speech. Sort of. I told myself I did my best...but inside, I knew I didn't.

Regardless of my lack of preparation, I won and went on to compete at the regional level. I don't know why I didn't try my best...I just didn't. I practised...but not enough.

Don't ask me why. I have no idea. To this day, I still have no idea.

At the regional competition, I lost. Disastrously! I went over-time, I was nervous and I stumbled on a few of my lines. It was awful! I was so embarrassed!

Ohh, how I wished for another chance. An opportunity to "do my best". I didn't care about winning. After all, I had already lost. I just wanted to ease my heavy heart and the only way to do that was to do my absolute very best.

One day, as the national competition was coming closer (which I was not invited to attend b/c I didn't win the regional competition), one of my greatest mentors came to me and told me that since I had competed at the regional level, I was eligible to compete at the national level.

Humbly, I knew my wish was granted. I had my second chance...an opportunity to let go of the burden (not of failure...but of not doing my best). I signed up to compete. Practised until I could practise no more. The months and weeks flew by. A few other friends (who were also going to Ontario for the convention) and I got on the plane and arrived in Fort Erie, ON, for the National Junior Chamber Convention.

I practised some more....felt strangely calm.

The topic was "Management - Inspiration or perspiration". I had just started the hostel a couple of years before...so I knew all about management...inspiration...and perspiration. I loved the topic. But I added a twist to it: Management - inspiration, perspiration...AND DESPERATION!

In my speech, I shared my story of management...the inspiration of starting the hostel, the perspiration of fixing the property...and the desperation of having absolutely no other option than to make the business successful (with interest-only mortgage pmts of $3000/month)!

It was a good speech...and I was proud of it. I lived it. It was real. No one wold have a speech as original and true as mine. So many speakers quote other famous speakers and repeat other people's stories that they've heard, like the age-old "starfish" story...and they're not original. Now, I DO like the starfish story...but, speaking professionally, as a business consultant now and even back then, as someone relatively new to the speaking industry, I always wanted to share my own stories as a means to inspire others, rather than repeating concepts or ideas that have been heard a million times before...

So...anyway, I went to sleep the night before my speech and I prayed for two things:
1. to do my very best
2. to be funny

When I woke up, the room was so bright that I knew the sun was shining even before I opened my eyes. Then...slowly...I opened one eye... and I just FELT that "Today was going to be my day!"

I got ready in my new clothes that I bought especially for this day. A brand new pant suit that I splurged on...spending more money on that outfit than I had ever spent before in my life on clothing. It looked good. And I felt great!

As the competition began, I was so excited! Uexplainably excited...but not nervous. I had nothing to prove. I had already done my best by practising and being prepared. that was all I had come to do. My heart was light already, before the competition had even begun.

All the competitors have to wait outside in another room. We could not hear one another's speeches. There were two competitions: a 7 minute prepared speech and an impromptu speech (where they give you a topic and you have 1 minute to prepare as you stand up there on stage and then you must give a 2-3 minute speech on the topic.

I was in the middle of the group for the prepared speech competition. I waited calmly, trying to contain my enthusiasm. Finally, it ws my turn.

I remember walking calmy to the front of the large auditorium. I had a few props that I would show during my speech. I smiled at the leather work gloves that I had brought to show (during the perspiration part). I looked out at everyone. Breathed. Smiled. And did my speech....flawlessly. It was more than I could ever ask for.

I was so grateful.

Then, after everyone had completed their speech, the impromptu competition began. I waited and waited until it ws my turn. They called me in.

The topic was "Karaoke singing". My mind went blank. I had no idea what to talk about. The minute of preparation went by slowly. Then, it came to me. The previous night, there was a party and one of the very well-known guys was singing a song by Elvis, "Can't help falling in love with you.". I started off talking about my love of singing and how I longed to be a singer...wishing for a chance to sing before a large group...and then I made reference to the guy, Daryl, singing the night before..and began my own personal rendition of the song, "Can't help falling in love with you"...to the entire audience at the top of my lungs.

In that moment, I was the real "me", living with abandon, without fear, taking chances, giving 100% of everything I had in me, leaving nothing on the table.

As I walked out of the auditorium, the sound of laughter and applause followed me...

I did my best. And I was funny. Very, very funny.

The rest of the day was a blurr. The evening banquet arrived, where they announce the winners. I was having a great time, long forgetting about the competition....

Until Darren, the MC of the evening began his announcements...And there he began to share tid-bits of information about the winner without announcing their name... what they spoke about, their passion, talent, humour...the fact that they couldn't pronounce "karaoke" correctly...and...incredibly it started to sound like me!

I was shocked.

When my name was called, I went up to receive my award, as the Canada National Effective Speaking Champion, and I could only smile. I was completely speechless. Winning had never entered my mind. I simply wanted another chance....so I could do my best...and ease that heavy heart of mine.

Then the reality hit that I would also receive a trip to Brazil (to compete at the world-semi-finals) the following year.

That year flew by...and in Brazil, I placed second at the world-semi-finals.


More importantly than any award, I learned the value of doing my best....not to win...but to have a light heart.

The olympics are on right now...and I think the athletes, too, need not worry about feeling the pressure of getting that gold medal around their neck, weighing heavily on their chest...but rather, focus simply on doing their best and having a light heart. (easier said than done, I know...)

I've written about this in my blog before....about doing my best...you know, "98% is a bitch...100% is easy"...and it reminds me again of my mom...how she always did her best when she did anything. Anything. And everything.

I am very lucky.
And tonight, after a big day of work today in Edmonton, my heart is light as I fall into bed.

Be careful what you wish for.

Over the past couple days, I've been reading the book, Five Wishes, and thinking about some of the wishes in my mind and heart.

Tonight, as I arrived to my hotel (I'm working in Edmonton for a few days), a phrase Mom used to say, once in a while, came to me...

"Be careful what you wish for."

It's sssssooooooooooo true! The mind and universe are powerful things!! And, usually, I get what I wish for!! Most of the time, that's fabulous! I'm grateful! Excited! Happy...that the universe, God and even a little coincidence (not that I really believe in coincidence) heard me!! However, other times, it doesn't quite work out the way I expected or wished it would.

So...my mom's words resonate with me tonight as I continue to fine-tune and articulate my answers to the assignment in the book "Five Wishes".

A while back, a friend and I were having a great discussion and in this conversation, we discussed our wants and wishes....looking at various scenarios:
1. Happy that the wish came true
2. Glad the wish did NOT come true
3. Disappointed when it became clear that the wishes we wished (and that came true) were not really what we wanted, after all.

I can think about several instances where I thought I knew what I wanted. I put it out there. Asked for it. Got it. And then....reality hit. What I had wished for...was NOT at all what I had really wanted or what was best for me.

From boyfriends to the house I wanted to buy...or the job I never got to the one that I did...or the various twists and turns in life....I've wished on all of these things.

Fascinating!

As I ponder my wishes, just like I pondered many things while hiking in Peru (Machu Picchu) last year....I am humbled by the fact that sometimes, I don't actually know what's best for me. I'm realizing more and more that having faith plays a huge role in my life. (I have a great deal of faith...in God, in life and in humanity.)

And I realize that, perhaps, I don't always know best.

Perhaps I might want to consider relinquishing a bit of control and not being so specific in what I want...and, instead, ask God and the universe to simply give me what is best for me...

Now...that's a thought.

Put it out there to the world!

Good morning!!

I think too much. Just like I talk too much sometimes. ;) It's time to stop thinking and let things be.

Just like this little book, Five wishes. It's not complicated...I just need to put it out there (my wishes) to the world and let them go.

According to the book, though, there is a catch.

We need to take our wishes, write them down. Then...turn them into the "present tense" and write them as if they are actually happening or coming true.

Sounds simple...
Lets try that...Here are my wishes (in a bit of an expanded version)...turned into the present tense and positive, as if they are coming true...

- I am following my own path in life, loving every moment, being absolutely true to myself.
- I spent lots of time with the people that really matter in my life - my brothers and sisters, my mom, nieces and nephews, close friends and girl-friends. We get together often, laugh, talk, hug and love one another.
- I laugh every day, out loud, with abandon...and I don't worry about the future.
- I am with the man in my dreams. He's everything I've dreamed of and I'm everything he ever imagined. We are best friends, life-long partners, loving life, evolving together, loving one another so altruistically. We have a family and love every moment of our time together.
- I travel around the world for a year, taking photos, writing books, exploring untraveled route's and meeting the most incredible people on this journey. I travel with the man in my dreams and we experience and create "God Winks" every day!
- I sing! I play the guitar and piano! And I am absolutely fabulous!
- And, yes, I dance like there's no tomorrow! Anyone that knows me...knows I can already dance...but now, I dance like there's really no tomorrow. We dance the salsa, ballroom, go into those silly dance competitions wearing those gorgeous dresses,
- I am sooooo "good enough"!
- I take time to really look in the eyes of the people who cross my path, whether they were strangers or friends. I can really see them. I see their spirit. I help them bring out their spirit. I inspire them to discover their gifts and talents and share them ith the world.
- I let the silly, enthusiastic and funny side of my personality out more...daily! There's nothing quite as funny. Or as wonderful. Than just being my silly, enthusiastic, energetic self!

Yay...this felt good!
Wow.

I think I am going to review this and take a little more time to explore what I really do want, what I would really wish for in my heart and continue this in my journal.

The book is fabulous.
Five wishes (or more). Turn them into the present. Put them out to the world. And watch what happens.

That sounds good to me!
I love you Mom.
Thank you for all the wishes you had for all of us...and for making them come true!
I'll be thinking of you in Edmonton.
love Crystal

Five Wishes

I am reading a book called "Five Wishes" by Gay Hendricks right now.

If you've never read it...it's worth picking up. But here's the basic premise...
If you were to arrive at the end of your life and look back...ask yourself the question, "Was my life a complete success?" (Of course...success is different for everyone and it's up to you to define it how you feel is right for you.)

If your answer is "no, my life was not a complete success."...there would likely be some reasons for this...

So, as the book continues... "if you said that your life had not been a complete success, what would be the things you'd wish had happened that would have made it a success?"

Good question....Big question....

My reaction is to want to think about my answers. Take some time to jot my ideas down on paper. Really think about it.

BUT...Then the book said something that really got to me...
"The bigger the question, the more important it is to answer it right now. This moment is all the time you need. It is the only one we have."

Hmmm...
So here we go....uncensored (from my head to my hands as I type)....
If I were to look back on my life....I would say that I'd wish....
- I followed my own path earlier in life and tried less to "keep up with the Jones's"
- I'd wish that I spent more time with the people that really matter in my life - my brothers and sisters, my mom, nieces and nephews, close friends and girl-friends.
- I'd wish I laughed a lot more and worried a lot less about the future.
- I'd wish that I found true love, met the man in my dreams and had a family.
- I'd wish I traveled around the world for a year...
- learned to sing and play the guitar and piano
- And dance. I wish I'd learned to dance and shake my body (and booty) from ballroom dancing to jazz and salsa.
- I wish I'd spent less time comparing myself less to others and more time telling myself that "I am good enough."
- I wish I'd slowed down and really looked in the eyes of the people who crossed my path, whether they were strangers or friends. I wish I'd stopped to really see them.
- I wish I'd let the silly, enthusiastic and funny side of my personality out more...

This is what I'd wish for...of the top of my head...
Some of them are coming true as I write this. (I've never been so open, vulnerable and real as now...and I've never cared less about what others think, which feels so good,...never lived so much in the moment as now...and I've started to let my goofy, silly side out a lot more...yay!) Other wishes....they're still wishes in my heart....for now.
More on the book tomorrow.

Mom, Thank you for this project, this gift to you, which I see is such a gift to me as well. I hope you know how much I think of you every day as I try to live just a little more intentionally on a daily basis,and a little more like you.
Love Crystal

You don't know when to shut up, Crystal!

I remember...on occasion...when I was younger, being told "you don't know when to shut up". It is true.

I don't.

It would be important to know when to shut up. When to be quiet. When to bite my tongue!

Sometimes, I forget this!

Today, today I failed at my attempt to "live intentionally" and I let myself get sucked into a situation that I could have handled much better....if I only knew when to shut up!

This morning, the staff at the hostel had a situation with a customer that they couldn't deal with so they called me to come and assist. A guest arrived lastnight and was allowed to stay...but today, it was realized that he didn't have the right identification. We require a valid passport or drivers licence and a credit card in order to stay, just as all hotels and most hostels do. Anyway, an argument ensued and the staff called me b/c the customer was causing a disturbance, indicating that we were being discriminatory.

I went over to help.

But I said too much. I tried too hard (to defend and justify our position of why we require this ID) when really, since it's not negotiable, I should have simply asked the person to leave. No explanation. No further discussion. No nothing. End of story.

Instead, I got sucked into an impossible discussion b/c I didn't know when to shut up. I allowed the guest to rope me (willingly) into the argument/discussion that continued long past it should have.... The one (slightly) redeeming thing is that he's likely had this same arguement a million times before with other people...so I'm just the target today.

Not to diminish the point.

Will I ever learn? After 12 years, one would think that I know how to handle these situations better. Most of the time I do.

Well, wait. Do I really?
If I was totally honest, I could handle things much better (and say much less) when I have a disgruntled guest. It's rare to have issue or disgruntled guests but it does happen a couple times/year when we have to ask someone to leave...if they are being unreasonable or if they are causing a disturbance. In each of those times...I talk way too much and try to explain our rationale, justify our position, defend our point of view...when really, I should simply say, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave now."

Sometimes "less is more" and today I am reminded of this again! If I want people to listen, I need to keep it short...and mean every word. Not ramble on with explanation.

Thank you for this little lesson!

Mom, sometimes I really STILL don't know when to shut up!
I love you and I thank you for loving me anyway!
love Crystal

There are buses, boats and helicopters everywhere...

My friend Mel told me a story (really - it's a fable) the other day about God.
I'm not sure why I'm compelled to share this story here...but here it is.

As the story goes...
There was a big flood and people in the little town were evacuating the area b/c the flood waters were rising. One man,however decided to stay with his home. A bus came by and the people in it hollered to the man, "Come on. Get in the bus. The waters are rising." The man replied, "No. I'm staying with my house. God will save me." So...the bus drove off.

The flood waters rose and the man had to go to the second level of his home b/c the waters were rising so much that the streets now became rivers and the water was flooding his home. A boat passed by and the people in the boat saw the man leaning out the window. They said "Come on. Get in the boat!" The man replied with the same as before, "No. I'm staying here. God will save me." The boat continued on.

Then, as the flood waters rose even more, the man sat out on his roof and almost had to swim b/c the waters were so high. A helicopter saw the man and went to save the man. The people in the helicopter lowered a ladder and instructed to the man to climb up. He, again, said "No. I'm staying here. God will save me." The helicopter could stay no longer to persuade the man and it disappeared into the distance.

The man drown. When he went up to Heaven, he met with God and said, "I waited for you to come and save me. You didn't come. Why?" God then said, "Heck. I sent you a bus, a boat and a helicopter. What more did you want?!"

When Melanie told me this story, we had a great laugh and conversation about a million different things...I'm not even sure how this story came up...but it has stuck with me the past few days.

The more I can live in "the moment" and be present, I realize that I will see the bus, boat and helicopters that surround me and pass before me. When I go travelling, I am very much in the moment. I love travelling b/c so many serendipitous moments take place. I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. That feeling starts as I pack my bags. I see the bus, boats and helicopters (sometimes literally), showing me that God is everywhere, in everything....b/c I'm really open to possibility, living for today and not even thinking about tomorrow (or what will be going on when I'm 50). I have no attachment to the future or outcomes b/c travelling is about the present moment.

I love travelling b/c it's when I feel so fully alive. I've always known that every day could be like this...not just when I'm travelling. I just have to allow myself to be open to all that passes before me...and take the ride when it's offered.

Today, I'm going to think a little more about what I experience when I travel and how to bring that perspective to every day, even when I don't have my boarding pass in my hand.

Mom, I love you...
Great to speak with you yesterday.
Yes...I owe you for that post the other day...
;) Sorry...well...not really...I hope you laughed. I just had to do it!
It's true...you are stunning!
love Crystal

There are no guarentees.

My mom used to say, 'There are no guarantees, honey." when I used to call her about something (where I was worried about the outcome) like...the future, relationships, school, circumstances or various decisions I was making at the time.

And she's right.


There are no guarantees...with anything in life.

I can understand this...in theory. But sometimes it's hard not to be attached to an outcome that I want or am hoping for (in a given situation). It's very hard to give up that attachment.

Today, I'm reminded that living isn't so much about a particular outcome or the future. It's about here. Now. The present. This moment. This exact moment.

I'm finding this one hard today...yet I know that living intentionally is about enjoying THIS moment, without planning for tomorrow. Or next week...Next year...Or when I am 50!

I realize that I've lived much of my life for the future, which never really comes. While I'm pretty satisfied with my life, I do still struggle with planning too much for the future (at the expense of today) and in some situations, I'm very much attached to the outcome and "down the road" that I forget to live here. Now.


In the past couple months and better part of the past year, I've "shown up", lived more than ever, with intention, in the moment and with abandon. But it's still hard to do at times. Very hard. Sometimes, I think people come into our lives (and my life) to teach me one of those "life lessons" like this one...about living in the moment b/c there are no guarantees in life. None.

I don't even know who or where I'll be when I'm 50...so why am I even concerned about what happens that far away?

Tonight, I painted part of the laundry room at the hostel. Maybe I should just rewind my mind and worry less about what happens when I'm 50 and more about how the paint's drying.

I am attaching these photos here b/c I remember driving from Vancouver and seeing the tulip fields on the side of the highway. Living in the moment, I brought the car to an abrupt stop, turned in and took a few photos of the gorgeous flowers. These farmers didn't have any guarantee that the flowers would grow well or that the crop would not be damaged by hail or an early frost. They didn't ask for any guarantees. They gave up attachment to the outcome and simply showed up, tending to their crop every day....and look what happened! Wow!!

Oh...how I wish this life lesson in living intentioanlly was as easy as simply not using plastic bags any more...or de-cluttering my house!

My mom's a stunner!

Yes...my mom is a "stunner"!

Beautiful! Gorgeous! Stunning! Inside and out!

I just heard this term, for the first time, at the hostel recently...and I think it's fabulous!

I've been trying to think of how I could use this word in conversation at some point. But the opportunity never arose yet..so I thought...why not do it here.

Mom...Um...Just so you know,...I might be in trouble for this post....

;)

I was just looking back at photos that my mom and I were scanning into the computer when I was home. And I can't help but notice how beautiful my mom is. She was when she was young and she still is as beautiful today. It amazes me that my mom could look this good after having 9 kids (in the pink dress)!








































Or this good...in her 50's!


Or THIS GOOD in her 70's, just last month, with 2 of her amazing grand-kids!


Yes...I am definitely going to be in trouble for this post!
Sorry Mom...but I just wanted you to know...that you look simply gorgeous. Amazing! Absolutely beautiful, inside and out. You have great health...but there's more to looking so good than being blessed with good health, I think. Research is showing that being happy counts for a lot of how one feels, internally and externally...and it plays a huge role in physical health as well.
Mom, you're one of the happiest people I know. You choose to be happy...consistently.

I think that's what's behind your beauty, Mom. That...and the fact that you are loved more than you could ever know, by your family, kids, grand-kids, loved ones, friends...and Don! :)

Happiness...and a whole lot of love.

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone and when they asked what I've been up to...I didn't have anything new or exciting to share. I just said, "I'm happy....happy for no reason."

Then I started thinking about it tonight as I was chopping up vegi's for home-made soup (that my sister Kate taught me to make)....I'm not actually happy "for no reason". I have so many reasons to be happy. The 1 hour and 40 minute run I did today (in the sun!) probably has something to do with my great mood...and, perhaps, too, that my team-members at the hostel are all totally back on their game! I also talked to Gwen today and she was soooo excited about her new bunny that she was literally vibrating on the phone. I've never heard her sound so excited!!! I went for a coffee this morning with a new friend that I feel like I've known forever and we had the best conversation. I have a number of such amazing girl-friends who act as a compass for me and help me find my path (when I get a little lost, go off-trail and find myself climbing the mountains (in my mind). Like Melanie. She's the best friend anyone could ever have. She's a total litmus test for truth and a compass for direction. Her faith in God helps me to expand mine. I stayed at her house lastnight so some of my staff could have some space away from the hostel for a night. It's so great to have these kind of friends. And I've made a few new friends in the past couple weeks, in my business program, that also seem like wonderful "old friends". Hmmm...you know, today, it just feels like my heart is wide open and I'm living with abandon!

What if our whole lives could be lived like this...not just one year (yesterday's post)! Wow! What a life that could be!

If we did that...we'd all be "stunner's" when we're 75, like my mom!

Mom - I love you.
I hope you're smiling!
I REALLY love you!
Crystal
PS: REALLY!!

If you had only one year?

If you had only one year to live...what would you do with that time?

I thought of this question when I was running yesterday. It was a gorgeous run, just around dusk. The weather was so warm that it almost felt like spring! I ran past Gyro beach, one of the local beaches and stopped there to stretch for a few minutes by the water. It was gorgeous. Calm. Peaceful. Absolutely quiet. There was not a ripple on the water.

It reminded me of the cabin at the beach.

While I was stretching, I thought about what I would do (differently) if I had only one year to live. (To clarify, the concept of dying was NOT at all what this question was about....the question and my inspiration was to think about what I would do differently given the concept of time being finite.)

As I was running, I thought about what I would really love to do with the year....
- I would go home for a few weeks and hang out at the cabin with Mom and Don. And go fishing with them. Watch the sunsets over the water. Sit by the fire at night.
- Then I'd go on a road trip and visit all my brothers and sisters for a few weeks
- make time to connect with special friends and "soul-sisters" in my life
- I'd take my guitar everywhere on these trips and learn to play it better
- Oh, I would also get rid of all the stuff I've accumulated in my life/garage/etc. (The de-cluttering project continues...and it's been wonderful to "clean house" and give clothes and items away!) Very free-ing! I can't wait to get into that garage when the weather warms up a bit.
- I'd go travelling with people I love...see the world...travel to the little villages in the middle of Central and South America, Africa, The Maldives, Fiji... take photos, sit with the people, laugh, journal, play the guitar and enjoy the simplist of moments.
- I'd also live with abandon. And love with abandon. Not worry what anyone else thinks. Say what I really feel. Run every day. And take people with me on those runs - to share in the joy of it all. I run alone most of the time...if I had only one year...I'd invite others to run with me and together, we'd laugh, talk, look around at the amazing place we live...and then, hopefully go for a coffee/muffin or tea after the run. I love that part. Especially on weekend mornings...a good run and then a good coffee with friends.
- I'd eat really well and invite others to come over for dinner more. And make an experience out of it all...go for picnic's, take the little BBQ to the beach, simple things...
- I'd find a way to make a difference and inspire others to use their gifts and talents to do the same. Yes, I'd spend much of that year living my life in a way that I hope would inspire others...and make my mom proud.
- And I'd find something to laugh about every day. Several times a day.

I shared this question, "If you had only one year to live, what would you do?" with a few friends.

The question then became..."well...if this is what we would do if we had only one year to live...why would we not do exactly that...if we had longer to live?"

Good question!

Turn it UP!

It's time to TURN IT UP!

On my new stereo.
And in my life.

I've always wanted a good stereo. One that could fill the house with wall-to-wall sound when no one is around! That would be "living intentionally" in the moment!

I'd also really like to turn up the volume in my own life. Yes, I know that I live pretty loudly at times already...but I think there's more inside of me that just wants to shatter the silence and live a little louder...kind of like this quote:

"Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though Heaven is on earth." Souza

Back to the stereo....
I've never bought a good stereo. That was when cd's and tapes were "in". Now it's the ipod and itunes (Mom - this is when you download music from the internet for a $1 per song...and all you need is a "docking station" or speakers to put your ipod in.)

Well, yesterday was the day! I finally went out and bought a docking station for my ipod.


OH MY GOD! EVERYONE needs one of these!! I could have a dance party in my house the music is so loud and clear! (The poor neighbours!)
I can stop playing music from my computer (which is still quiet - even on maximum volume). And...I've blown the little speakers in it. I can also give the tiny radio/stereo that I did have to play music to the hostel where they can put it in the dining room or take out on the deck.

And here we are.
It's time to turn up the volume on the new ipod docking station. And in life!

Mom, I know you don't care too much for loud music anymore. I know you used to love country music. Now, there's probably enough noise with kids, grand-kids, spending time with Don, etc...

There's a great country song called "Living Out Loud" by Aaron Lines that I'm thinking of right now. The lyrics are below. It talks about living out loud...and turning up the volume in our own life....

"I'm going to start living out loud. My soul's been dying to scream and shout and shatter the silence. It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts...starting right now...I'm gonna start living out loud."


Living Out Loud - Aaron Lines

I'm tired of living in this bubble
So today I'm changing everything
Well, my dream's been buried in the rubble
It's time to set it free
No more keeping quiet this life inside of me

I'm gonna start living out loud
My soul's been dying
To scream and shout
And shatter the silence
It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts
Starting right now, I'm gonna start living out loud

Oh, yeah

Well, I'm not breaking any new ground
And I didn't reinvent the wheel
I'm just a man who finally figured out
What he really needs
So I'm turning up the volume of this song inside of me

Gonna start living out loud
My soul's been dying
To scream and shout
And shatter the silence
It's a beautiful sound when each moment counts
Right here, right now
I'm gonna start living out loud

All my demons, I have fought 'em
Inhibitions, I have lost 'em
It wasn't easy, but I taught 'em
To just get out of my way
And now, every breath I'm breathing,
The air is so much sweeter
Now that my heart has finally found a way

To start living out loud
My soul's been dying
To scream and shout
And shatter the silence
It's a beautiful sound, when each moment counts
Right here, right now
I'm gonna start living out loud
My soul's been dying
To scream and shout
And shatter the silence
It's a beautiful sound, when each moment counts
Right here and now
I'm gonna start living out loud
Living out loud
Living out loud

Mom, I love you very much! I hope you are enjoying this little blog. I think of you every day and how you choose to live intentionally, making everything so simple. I'm trying to live a lot more simply and not complicate life so much. Or worry so much. Or try to control the way my life goes so much. And just try to have faith that I'm moving in the right direction.
I love you.
Crystal

It's really not that complicated!

Life can get so complicated. Busy. Overwhelming. Frantic. Hectic. Stressful. Confusing. And almost painful.

But I get it!!

It's really not that complicated.

I just make it that way...when my ego lies to me; when I worry about what others think; when I let the drama queen in me take over; when I go against or ignore my intuition; and when I lose sight of my true path, calling or vision and let everything else pull me in all directions.

I could come up with more...but this is probably enough for now. The point remains. Life is not really that complicated. I just make it that way...for a variety of reasons (most of which, I'm not even conscious I'm doing).

If I take one good, long, hard look into my own eyes - things become "crystal" clear to me.

Literally.

Tonight I had a staff meeting to iron out some wrinkles...little things that all come down to a lack of communication within the team.

I thought about how to handle the meeting all day, while working on other things. Initially, I was not be involved. (I really am not involved on the day to day operations of the hostel.) When I woke up this morning, though, the thought came to me that...this is what I do for a living...in my consulting business! I help organizations and teams reach their potential and find greater joy and happiness on a daily basis. Maybe be involved in the team-meeting of my own business to sort out a few things...

So...I went to the hostel and expressed my interest in being a part of the meeting. Invited them to my house at 6pm. Bought snacks. And got creative.

I thought about the basic messages I wanted them to know. The most important reasons why the hostel exists. It's purpose. My vision. My philosophical principles. Then I posed a few questions on big paper posted on the walls: what's working? what's not working? What do you want from your experience on the team? Suggestions?

It was a fantastic day. Rather than letting life be complicated, I found a way to simplify everything!

When the team arrived at 6pm...I shared my vision with them: that the hostel be the happiest place on earth.


Mom, I thought about my basic philosophy of life that, in part, comes from the way we grew up...You instilled in us a feeling of gratitude and refused to allow any thought or notion of "entitlement" anywhere. You made sure we focused only on ourselves and not what the others were doing. There was no score-keeping. And then there was the cabin - where we learned to "leave it better than you found it". We cleaned up more when we were leaving than most people clean in a month...so when we came back out to the summer cabin, it was so perfect, clean and welcoming. You had a 100% commitment in everything...you live that every day! You're also gentle with other people, and I hope, yourself...and then there's your sense of humour! You also had a lot of space between any stimulus and response...so you had enough time to do the right thing rather than react. Mom - you live intentionally every day. That's just want you do...and you are indeed...brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. And you made all of your kids feel the same! Thank you. I love you.

This is where my basic philosophy of life came from...and I decided to share it with the team.

First, I shared the 2 reasons why any business exists plus 2 more of my reasons:
Basic reasons that any business exists. If it doesn't do these two things, it has no long-term sustainability, in my opinion:
1. To make a profit
2. To serve it's customers better than anyone else
Plus my reasons for wanting to own the hostel and work with travelers from around the world:
1. To create an environment for a team of travelers to run the hostel and have an experience that changes their lives for the better. When they look back at their time spent, I want it to be "the best time of their lives". It's that simple.
2. To make a difference in the world (locally and around the world).

Then I shared my "Basic Philosophy Of Life"
1. Have an attitude of gratitude
2. Start with yourself first; get out of your own way; realize that we are all "contributing or contaminating" in any situation (words from Dr Phil)
3. Leave "it" better than you found it for the next person. Now this specifically relates to the hostel...but it can relate to anything...from the campsite you stayed at to a public bathroom to your kitchen or home.
4. Commit to doing your best. Using the words of a program I took at Inside Out Leadership..."100% is easy. 98% is a bitch!"
5. Be gentle with yourself and others. Give everyone a bit of grace...and have a sense of humour for pity sake! Laugh! Especially at myself.
6. Again, using a phrase from IOL, to describe how my mom chooses to respond in most situations..."Create some space between stimulus and response" by being more aware of what's going on in my own beliefs, attitudes, behaviours, etc.
7. Live a little more intentionally!!
8. Share the message that "we are all brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous"! (Maryanne Williamson quote - the rest of it is below)

Then the team talked about what's working, what's not working, suggestions and ideas for the future...and everyone ate, laughed and left smiling. I don't know if they really know what hit them. I did give them lots of snacks...so they were happy...and I think (hope! pray!) that they got a few ideas out of the meeting as well.

It's really not very complicated.
Just a few questions:
1. What's my purpose (for business or life)?
2. What's my basic philosophy?

And then...if I put my tiara away and look into my own eyes...I'll find my truth.

Mom, it was a great, great day! You would have been proud of me.
I love you,
Crystal
PS thanks for making us clean the cabin so perfectly when we were leaving....so it was so clean and welcoming when we came back the next weekend or time. I get it now.


Marianne Williamson Quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God who is within us.
It’s not just in Some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates
others.

Marianne Williamson
as quoted by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural speech in 1994

The Knots Prayer

Hi Mom,
I'm sorry I missed a couple of days! It was a busy weekend with the hostel's 12th anniversary party and working last week.

Today I received an email that was perfectly timed...found in my inbox exactly when I needed it. My sister-in-law sent this poem to me and it has to be one of the best email "forward's" I have ever received.

Mom, this poem reinforces that living intentionally is about more than just "doing". It's about "being". The following reminds me of your commitment to prayer and, particular, of the importance of having faith...two things I needed today.

The Knots Prayer
Dear God:
Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots, would nots and should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all, Dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart and my life all the "am nots" that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough. Amen.
Author known to God.

Today I had a lot of knots and nots in my mind and heart and finding this poem in my inbox today was an unlikely coincidence.
Mom, I love you.
Crystal
PS To anyone reading this - I hope this poem finds you in a timely moment, as it has for me.

Moments are what memories are made of...so make the most of every one.

I can think of so many times that I waste moments, take them for granted, take advantage of them or let them slip by.

I know this all too well this week. It's been a fantastic week but I'm tired. I've been working all week in Penticton teaching a business planning program to a wonderful group. But that's 10 hours of driving for the week to/from Penticton plus very full and jam-packed days. I'm up before 6am, out the door by 7am and don't get home until after 7, 8 or 9pm each night after stopping in at the hostel to check on things and meet with the team.

Tonight, at the hostel, I had a tough moment b/c, it's been brought to our attention over the past weeks that we could be serving our customers better. There were just a few comments/minor complaints...nothing major and certainly very common for the hosteling industry. Not really common for me though. Not at all what I would hope for or expect from my hostel. The team is great. But, I think sometimes I forget to "create moments" for the people in my life...and I think at the hostel we've neglected to create moments on a daily, consistent basis for our customers. This sense of casualness and a relaxed approach to work happens every winter at the hostel. During the summer, the team is on fire with ideas, events, activities and exceptional customer service...but in the winter, we relax, get complacent, take things for granted and let moments slip by...

I do this in my own life too.

Sometimes, I focus on the things that are not going as well as I would like and then I let those things drag me down a bit. I did that this week, even. I wanted to practise the guitar more than I did. I had good intentions of doing a number of things...but lastnight, I just didn't have the energy. I thought about going for a run...and then opted for a cozy spot on the couch instead. Now...both sound pretty good to me...but in retrospect, I wish I had gone for that run. I would have been more energized afterwards.

Tonight, I stopped in at the hostel on my way home, before going on that run I didn't get to yesterday. I ended up sitting in on a staff meeting where the discussion was about the little things that went wrong over the past few weeks...and I felt so deflated. On the eve of the hostel's 12th birthday. It's not what I was hoping to hear. I left the meeting and went downstairs to fold laundry, tidy the storage room and think. Down there, I burst into tears, which shocked me, but I think it was b/c I was so excited about the 12th anniversary that I didn't want to accept the truth that we could do better.

I know myself well enough to know that "letting it out and letting it go" is what I needed to do. Crying for 10 minutes is my way to do that. And then, the manager, Ian, and I had the best conversation about what to do to create better moments for the customers in the future. Then, when I stopped in to chat briefly with some of the other team-members, they were busy thinking of ways to improve. In just a short while, we went from taking things for granted to being grateful and creating specific plans to make the most of future moments for our customers.

I am blessed. Truly.

I came home, still not feeling 100% though.
A long hot shower did wonders...
And taking some time to speak with a friend, being completely honest my feelings, I feel my life returning to my normal (rose-coloured glasses) perspective of "fabulous".

For the record, it's not always fabulous...but I'm amazed tonight, at how quickly things moved from negative to positive - with everyone taking responsibility for creating new moments and memories. Moments are memories...and we all gotta make the most of every one.

My friend, Laura Thurnheer, shared a quote with me years ago that she found. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take...but rather, by the number of moments that take our breath away".

This is what life is about.

Mom, I thought of you tonight as I buried myself in folding laundry and cleaning the storage room, crying... to let out and let go of my disappointment. I know that you've had lots of disappointments in the past. You don't really carry around any baggage though. You obviously found a way to let it out and let it go. Did you do that by crying your face off for a few minutes? I know I can do that for a few minutes...and then I feel much better! Did I get that from you? Where ever I did, it's fast and it works. So much better than harbouring resentment or anger...
Maybe you had a more calm way of letting out your disapointments and letting go...so that you could get back to creating moments and making the most of every one!

All I know is that I have a lot of memories of great moments...because of you!
This photo below is of one of those moments...
I love you Mom.
Crystal



Listening to the song "What about now" by Robbie Robertson reminds me of taking advantage of every moment, not letting them slip by or taking them for granted...and making memories of every one!


What about now - Robbie Robertson
There's gonna be a change of season
Indian Summer look around
And it's gone
Why you wanna save the best for last
We grow up so slowly
And grow old so fast
We don't talk about forever
We just catch it while we can
And if I grab on
To the moment
Don't let it slip away
Out of my hand
What about now
What about now
Forget about tomorrow
It's too far away
What about now
What about now
Close your eyes
Don't talk of yesterday
It's too far away
Too far away
It's too far away
What about now
I'm coming out of the shadows
I'm getting of of this one way street
Blue memories
They just gather dust
Leave them in the rain
They turn into rust
Did you see the march to freedom
Did you ever see Savannah moon
In the middle of the night
All the other people
Walking in a line
Said to the man
Is it my time
What about now
What about now
Forget about tomorrow
It's too far away
What about now
What about now
Just close your eyes
Don't talk of yesterday
It's too far away
Too far away
It's too far away
What about now
In the walk of a lifetime
When you know it's the right time
Bring it to me darlin'
I can't wait
I can't wait
Until the ship comes in
I can't wait
I can't wait
Starting up all over again
The errors of a wise man
Make the rules for a fool
What about now
Forget about tomorrow
It's too far away
It's too far away
What about now
Don't talk of yesterday
It's too far away
It's too far away
What about now
What about now
Forget about tomorrow
It's too far
It's too far away
It's too far away
What about now
Close your eyes
Don't talk of yesterday
It's too far away
Too far away
It's too far away
Too far away
It's too far
What about now
It's all about now right now
Don't break the spell
Don't break the spell
Don't break the spell
Don't break the spell
It's all about now right now
Now right now
Here right now
It's all about now
All over by tomorrow
Don't break the spell

Love wins!

Love does win!

Every time.

This sign was at a church in town a few months ago. When I saw it, it just made me smile inside and out!

When I'm having a great day...it's easy to see exactly how "love wins" and it's easy to be, do and create love around me. However, when I'm frustrated..it's not quite so easy to see or believe or act in any way that's aligned with love. I've learned (mostly through my mom) that it's in these tough moments, that choosing to love is so important.

When I choose to love people and everything around me, the world loves me back...tenfold. When I choose to love myself...the payback is immeasurable.

Yes...love wins!

Always.

I love you, Mom!
Crystal

If you build it, they will come.

On February 12th, 2010, it will be 12 year that I've owned The Kelowna International Hostel. We bought it, 12 years ago, as a run-down dilapidated "crack" house and turned into a flourishing international travelers hostel.

I remember that first day of ownership...we had sold our town-house and packed up all of our belongings, placing them in storage. We stayed in a hotel the night before, living in a tiny bit of luxury before our lives were about to drastically change. At 8:00am, we walked into our new home, greeted by about 18 people - drug dealers, transients, people smoking in the livingroom, placing their smoke butts on a dinner plate, already heaping with ashes and butts. The stench was overwhelming. It was seriously the worst place I'd ever set foot.

By 10pm, there were 3 police cars there, helping us kick people out who would not pay. By 2:00am, I fell into bed, crawling into my sleeping bag and crying myself to sleep, fearing for what I had done. I prayed. I cried. And then I woke up on Day 2 and started to pick up the pieces.

It got worse before it got better. 3 months of "worse". I needed the money so I let anyone stay - it didn't matter if you had just gotten of jail or if you had broke out. If you had money, you could stay. Guests, for the first few weeks, were people in very difficult situations - drug dealers, transients, locals... The occasional "traveler" that did come...left the next day.

I gutted the place. My mom came out to help for 3 weeks. Thank God. Together, we spent 3 weeks working side-by-side. I don't know what I would have done without her.

In those early days, I saw another side of life that I had never imagined, let alone been surrounded by and immersed in. At night I would push my dresser in front of my door so I could go to sleep at night without fearing that one of the "guests" would break in to my room and steal my nightly deposit $. By day, I thought of the movie "Field Of Dreams" and the famous line in the movie, "If you build it, they will come." I thought of this ever day, every hour, every minute...whatever it took to get me to the next minute. I took containers of needles (from drug use) to the hospital - that I had found in holes in walls. I tore apart every surface area and repainted, resurfaced, and refinished it. Over time, I hired staff to help.

I had a vision...and I believed that if I built it, they would come.

Thank God, they did.

Over the past 12 years, the hostel has served thousands of guests from around the world, from ages of one day old (a lady came to Kelownato have her baby at a midwifery clinic...and the day after having her baby, she returned to our hostel to stay one night before travelling home!) to over 80 years "young" (2 ladies who's spouses had passed away, who decided to travel the world at the age of 80!).

It's the happiest place on earth.

The staff, who really run the hostel now, are all travellers themselves and are utterly extraordinary.

At the 10 year anniversary, I got temporarily "lost". I only had a 10 year vision or plan. When I reached that point, I didn't know what to do. I thought about selling it. Temporarily. But now, as 12 years approaches, I've created a new vision...that celebrates 5 more years with this amazing and blessed home-away-from-home. Then we'll re-evaluate.

So, for the next 5 years, I will continue to "build it"...with the most amazing staff on the planet...and I hope and pray that travellers from around the world "will (continue) to come".

Through the past 12 years, I have discovered what happiness is - for me.

The following quote says it all...and it describes my mom perfectly.
“Some of the HAPPIEST moments in life are when the body and mind are stretched to their limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
Anonymous
Mom - your whole life has been an example of living out this quote....one big voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile...stretching your body and mind to their limits. You are truly extraordinary.
Love you. Crystal
PS I'll never forget those few weeks at the hostel with you, Mom. You saved my life.

Can you see my spirit?

Deep inside our hearts, I think each of us is asking the following question to those around us and to the universe as each new day and the sun rises.

"Can you see my spirit?"

In fact, I think we're not only asking for others to see our spirit, I think (inside our deepest self) we're hoping, praying and subconsciously wishing that others just might see us for who we really are...and who we have the capacity to become - in all our shining brilliance!

I think that, as children (and even as adults), all we really need is to be "seen". To have our spirit, the essence of who we are, acknowledged and validated by those around us. With that acknowledgement and validation, like a breath of wind under our wings, we are free to grow and reach our potential, rather than being stifled, minimized or controlled...and shrinking.

Growing up, my mom saw my spirit. She validated me and she saw "me" for who I really was. For this, I am forever grateful b/c it influenced my life immeasurably.

A long time ago, when we were in grade 9, my twin-sister, Carla and I switched places in our classes. We wore the same clothes that particular day and then, just for fun, we met in the hallway and I went to her class and she went to mine. It was, after all, the beginning of the school year and the teachers couldn't tell us apart yet. Our friends knew the difference, of course, so the joke was really on the teachers. We thought it would be fun. Our classmates and friends thought it was, indeed, funny. When the whispers and snickers grew...and the teachers became wary that something was going on...we basically switched back...like we had never played the trick in the first place. Well, I don't know what happened to Carla but I got sent down to the office. The "guidance counsellor" took me into her office and told me she knew I was Carla, which I wasn't, and asked if I was "needing attention" and if everything was OK at home. Everything was great at home...we were just playing a practical joke! It took 10 minutes to convince the counsellor that I was really Crystal and I had to even explain the joke and how we switched back to our respective classrooms. When we got home, our mom was there, laughing.

She saw our spirits...that we were just having fun...and, apparently, when the teachers called her, she laughed at them,too. I'm so glad that our mom validated who we were when we were growing up, instead of stifling or controlling our growth. and I'm very glad she's got a great sense of humour!

For me, I know that if I slow down my frenetic pace, if I really try to focus on simply being "present" with those around me, if I look them in the eye and if I stop thinking of my agenda, but rather accept and love the other person for who they are...I think it's possible to not only see the spirit or essence (or potential) of others but to actually draw it out.

This is what living intentionally is about for me right now. I know when I'm in the right "frame of mind", I can see the spirit in others naturally. I learned how to do that from my mom. But when I'm busy, stressed or rushing...it's impossible.

Over the past fewy days, i've had a few wonderful conversations with people. Part of what made them so wonderful was that these people saw right into me. They looked into my eyes. They saw my spirit. Not only who I am inside...but who I could become. And that is so very inspiring.

So, for this week and beyond, I'm going to focus on really slowing down with people, being present, looking them in the eye, believing in their potential, and hopefully letting them know that "yes, I can see their spirit."

Mom, thank you for seeing my spirit - for acknowledging who I was, who I am, and who I continue to become. You remain the wind beneath my wings.

I love you.
Crystal
PS: I think going snowboarding at least once over the next week or two and playing the guitar more often will help bring out my spirit....and I hope, help me to see the spirit of those around me even more.

Too much of a good thing...

Too much of a good thing...is not a good thing!

Tonight, I made my favourite chocolate chip cookies to celebrate the end of my commitment to stay away from junk food and chocolate for the month of January. It was a huge realization for me that I could actually avoid chocolate for a month straight. Usually, I eat quite healthy, but I exercise enough that I can also eat treats, chocolate and baking, without much consequence.

After a month of "no treats", I did eat an undeniable number of Mom's cookies and baking when I was home last week. Since then, though, I'm not really very interested in chocolate, junk food or even my own cookies. This is very strange! Now, of course, I still had at least 5 cookies tonight...lets be completely honest...but I'm not really craving them and I don't really care for chocolate as I did in the past.

What a let down. Disappointment. Loss.

Two weeks ago, I was really excited to have a huge "chocolate party" once January 31st rolled around. I guess things change. I changed.

I guess this is what living intentionally is all about.

There's a lot I don't know, but what I do know is that 5 chocolate chip cookies lead to a bit of a gut-ache, even if they're made with love!

Too much of a good thing...isn't really a good thing, after all!

Mom, I remember when we were young and wanting to eat whatever you were baking...and you would tell us, "Don't eat any more or you're going to get sick". Well, it's now a little late for that, but thanks for the reminder for next time! :)
I love you!
Crystal

A little fear is a good thing!

That's right. A little fear is a very, VERY good thing!

When we were growing up, there was a very clear line between what was acceptable behaviour and what was not. And at least from my perspective, there was a bit of fear surrounding what would happen if I crossed that line.

I remember crossing the line on a few occasions. Like when I was 15, Mom said we could not go out on this particular night, before going out to spend the evening with her own friends. I didn't listen and I snuck out with my boyfriend, returning home an hour before Mom got home, sweeping the skiff of snow off the front walk and step to erase my tracks. Well, Mom knew instantly that "someone had snuck out" and I had to 'fess up and deal wit the consequences.

The consequences were huge...that my mom would be disappointed that I didn't listen to her and that I had let her down. Something I would never ever want to do.

Yes, fear can be a very good thing. It can be used as a sort of "litmus test" or a barometer (not measuring atmospheric pressure, but my own feelings around something).

When I was in Mexico competing in the Ironman race 2 months ago, I went down early to practise. The waters were calm and I was confident!

But then, just 3 days before the race, a storm came in with winds that were so strong, it knocked out sheets of glass in the railing of the restaurant at my hotel! Fear set in like the ocean waves crashing on the shore!

I was no longer confident in my race but, rather, very fearful of even being able to make it through the swim. If the wind kept up, I would never make it through the 3.8km swim in the allotted 2 hour time limit. Never.

The 2 days before the race passed so slowly with my fear running high. And then, just as fast as the storm had come in, it left, leaving race morning to be among the calmest ever!
Fear turned into relief. Gratitude. Joy. Thankfulness. Humble graciousness.

And there was the gift for me. With humility, gratitude and a perspective of thankfulness, rather than outward confidence, I found my inner strength. It helped me to race my fastest 3.8km swim ever at 1:09! (I do think the swim course was a bit shorth though...but still - it was a great swim specifically b/c I had to dig deep, under my fear, to find what I was really made of.)

Yes...fear, in the right context, can be a very good thing...helping me to find my inner strength and enabling me to do the right thing. (Well, um, er...except when i was 15 and boy-crazy). :)

Love you Mom.
Thank you for the little bit of fear you made sure we honoured and respected when we were young.
crystal

Thank you.

Mom,

Thank you....

Thank you for picking me up at the airport when ever I come home. Knowing that you (want to be)there...means everything!
Thank you for being the most amazing Mom that anyone could ever imagine.
Thank you for listening. Always.
Thank you for everything you've taught me. More than a year's worth of lessons and insights, I'm certain.
Thank you for always believing that I could do anything.

Thank you loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for the freedom you gave me. And the belief you had in me.
Thank you for having faith in God and for what you teach me through that.
Thank you for your patience. I know I tested it at times.
Thank you for rescuing me when needed it. On more than a few occasions.
Thank you for laughing instead of getting mad.
Thank you for getting mad when you did, though, and for what that taught me.
Thank you for being a living example of how life should be lived. I am learning so much through you.
Thank you for letting me go off and do whatever I needed to do. Like travelling to Australia at 17 for 6 months.
Thank you for putting yourself first now.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for your friendship.
Thank you for the most loving environment to grow up in.
Thank you for always giving us what we needed, but not everything we wanted.
Thank you for letting me go out and make mistakes (there were many) to learn from.
Thank you for being there to lean on.

Thank you for all your pep talks when I need them.
Thank you for helping me to see what is really important in life.
Thank you for teaching me what having a work ethic is all about.
Thank you for the values you instilled in me.
Thank you for putting your family first and for all that you sacrificed for us.
Thank you for your sense of humour.
Thank you for the inner strength you give me.
Thank you for the stability you gave us. Always.
Thank you for all the prayers that were answered as well as the ones that weren't.
Thank you for sharing the best of you.
Thank you for the most incredible family to belong to and be a part of.

Mom, thank you for all of these things...and so many more.

Today, I flew home (No..."he" wasn't sitting next to me on the plane!) ;) I can't help but feel like the luckiest person I know, as I went to the hostel for a staff meeting and chance to catch up with the staff there.
I think I really am the luckiest person in the world.
Thanks to you.
I love you,
Crystal

How does that happen?

Mom, what happened to me today might happen to you all the time. You know so many people and you are so "connected" to them... But what happened to me today was surprising, surreal and a little spooky (in a strange and wonderful way).

I'm not a big drama queen, but today was one fascinating day! Yesterday I wrote that I wanted to get back in touch with some very special people that I've lost touch with...

TODAY - THREE of the very VERY special people, who I've been blessed to cross paths with in the past, sent me emails, (TODAY!) out of the blue, giving me goose-bumps for one simple reason. These same three people are three of the 9 or 10 very special people that I've been blessed to know, whom I love and adore, but have lost touch with over the past while...and who I was referring to in my blog post yesterday!
How does that happen??

I am beyond perplexed!!

This is so ironic! I've been thinking about them (and a number of others) since I started writing this blog almost 2 months ago...because, as I've written before, I think about living more intentionally every day now...and with those thougths, comes the interest and desire to then act...being more intentional...and reconnect with people I've let slip away a bit. It's impossible to just "think" about living more intentionally...and not do something about it. I've been making a list of people that I want to reconnect with since I started writing this blog. I've reconnected with some but there is a long list of very special people that I need (that my heart and spirit needs) to reconnect with. Slowly but surely, I am reconnecing with these people and it's been wonderful!

I hope these 3 very special people don't mind me sharing a bit about them on this blog....

I met my friend, colleague and confidant, Paul de Burger about 10 years ago. We taught business planning programs together, worked together on various projects, raced in the Ironman triathlon together and even went to Singapore to do a speech together! We started out in the speaking industry together, at the same time, and I can still remember a meeting we had in Princeton, as if it were yesterday, where we shared our dreams of living out our life's calling and helping others live out theirs. Paul is brilliant, funny, very witty and very talented. He and his wife Angela are the most incredible couple and I wish they still lived in the Okanagan. They can also sing and play the guitar, effortlessly, which leaves me in awe!
This is a work photo we took when we went to Singapore to speak.


And then Elizabeth...I've been thinking of her a lot lately, which is strange b/c we lost touch a few years ago. Elizabeth is from Quebec and she worked at the hostel years ago with a couple of her friends. Elizabeth, Flavie and Claudia came to stay at my hostel on a very busy May long weekend. Our hostel was full. We had no room for them. But for some reason, I just had to help them, even though we had no room. They ended up staying in their tent in the back yard of my tiny house (which was located right across the street from the hostel) and they stayed there for a night or two until the hostel had a vacancy. It was "God Wink" for me...b/c Elizabeth and her two amazing friends ended up working at the hostel, creating some of the most special moments the hostel has ever seen - with their flare, personality and enthusiasm! Elizabeth is one of the most artistic, beautiful and special people I've been blessed to meet. When she left the hostel to continue on her journey, she wrote me a poem on a dry-erase board (you know the kind you can just wipe off with a cloth). I kept that poem on that board for at least two years, ensuring that nothing would ever touch it or wipe it off. If I think about "defining moments" in my life, the arrival of Elizabeth, Flavie and Claudia at the hostel was likely the pivotal defining moment at the hostel...b/c when they arrived and created such an amazing atmosphere, it attracted an entire group of travelers that stayed so long at the hostel...and then future staff were friends of theirs and that just went on and on. Wow!
Here is a photo of Elizabeth and some of the other staff and guests at the hostel way back in 2000 or 2001. I wish I had more photos of those amazing years on my computer ...but that was before "digital" really existed.

Amelie also emailed today and she's been on my mind for months. She and Elizabeth are in this photo that they sent to me from Quebec, after they returned home from working at the hostel and their travels. I've been meaning to take an hour to write a big letter to her for so long. I have thought of her more times than I can count (literally) and I am so sorry that I have not written sooner to tell her how much I have thought about her. Amelie is someone that once you meet her, you will never forget her (similar to Elizabeth). She's my "sister" and I can honestly say that I don't know what I would have done if she had not come into my life. Amelie came into my life at a time when I was at my lowest. I was going through my divorce. It was a really tough time for me but Amelie gave me hope and strength when i needed it most. She managed the hostel in Kelowna and the other hostel we had at Sun Peaks Ski resort. She helped teach me how to swim so I could finish my first triathlon and was there cheering for me in my first ironman race. Then, when she went travelling in Australia, I ended up doing an ironman race there at the same time. Amelie was there to pick me up at the airport when I arrived, cheered on the sidelines of the race again and then invited me to travel with her for a few weeks afterwards. I am still grateful for that. There were so many great moments...like when we went camping in Radium and had some of the best times of my life. Amelie and I had so many laughs, moments, talks and I can only hope that I gave her as much as she gave me over those years. The song "Action" and Enrique Iglecias are in my mind as I write this b/c we used to sing these songs together.

The photo at the very top of this post is a shot inspired by a greeting card that means a great deal to Amelie and I. It symbolizes that "a kiss of magic is blowing your way".

And it is blowing your way.


Mom, this is so wierd! I really don't know how this happened today. It was too strange to be a coincidence. What I do know is that a rough start to this week has sure turned out to be one amazing, wonderful experience. Mom, what I think about tonight is how you always said just to keep going, to "show up" and "do your best" and everything else will work itself out.
You were right. love you,
crystal

Part 2:
Mom, now...I am really in shock. Yesterday I wrote that I wanted to get back in touch with some people that I've lost touch with. How does it happen that three of these people have contacted me today...and now, tonight, a friend that I've been meaning to write/connect with for the past month or more has also just sent me an email? Tonight? Tonight! I've been thinking of him daily for the month! I am speechless.
You know, Mom, I can create a cause to celebrate out of nothing. A special event or birthday isn't required. And I'm not really an overly dramatic "drama queen" as this blog post might sound. This has actually happened today. How is it that 4 very special people in my life have decided that "today's the day" to contact Crystal. Is that not strange? Can you explain this? Can anyone explain this? I'm truly speechless (and God knows - that doesn't happen too often!).