Going against the grain...

Mom,
I had a simple but totally totally awesome revelation today...and it reminded me of you.
This week, I'm driving to Penticton all week for work. I leave in the morning, heading against the much larger flow of traffic that is heading into town and I have a smooth, very un-crowded drive south. Then, on the way home, I head back to Kelowna at the end of the day, when everyone else is leaving Kelowna. It's a lovely drive...against the flow of traffic.

It made me think of life...and how it's often wiser to go against the grain, and behave in ways that are opposite of the rest of the masses.

For example, when everyone else is selling their houses...perhaps I should not be selling mine....but rather - buying theirs. It's a buyer's market right now, after all.

Or when everyone else is buying stocks for investments...maybe I should not be so quick to buy, right along with them, but sell instead.

Or, when someone is selling a run-down business that has seen better days...and nobody will even look in that direction or consider it's viability because the opportunity is disguised as a 'dump'...only to be revealed and discovered through vision and hard work! Yes...that's the time to jump in and seize the opportunity...like the hostel almost 12 years ago...when everyone else is running in the other direction. Thank God nobody wanted to buy it back then, leaving it for sale for almost a year before we came cross it. I can't believe no one saw the opportunity there, just underneath the surface.

In our family, we learned to go against the grain, not to blindly follow and that "opportunity is often disguised as hard work" and great things don't always come easy and they're not always shiny and new.

I think it's that way with a lot of things. The value in a building, any item and even in people might be hidden or concealed...and we just have to uncover it to see it...Polish it up, refinish the surface areas and then look at it shine. Or...with people...listen to them, pay attention to the details, validate their concerns rather than minimize them, show that we care...show just a little thoughtfulness...and then watch them shine.

Now that's amazing.

I know this is what happens...b/c people in my life = family, friends, loved ones, God...seem to be polishing me until I shine.

Mom, thank you for polishing us till we shine...by loving us, by showing us that opportunities are often concealed as hard work and by showing us to go against the grain and not just follow the masses.

love you,
Crystal

Finish strong.

When I was training for my first Ironman, back in 2001, my coach said, "Save a little energy so that you finish strong."

He went on to say that "how you feel at the end of your race...whether you're happy and full of energy....or tired, exhausted and beaten by the day...that will have a lasting impression on you forever...much more than what the finish clock says."

I was pretty scared, in that first race, unsure of what to expect or how the day would go. So I saved a lot of energy for the end. And feeling good, feeling happy, enjoying my family and friends who were all down to cheer...now that did have a huge impact on me. Feeling good gave me lots of opportunity to enjoy the day and enjoy the finish...and celebrate with everyone. It's always left a wonderful memory etched in my mind and spirit, when I think of the past.

Maybe I should have tried harder - in that race. And in everything in my life. I know I certainly do "save a little" just in case. I'm not sure I lay it all out on the table...or on the line...until now. Lately, it's felt great to give life all I've got...whether it's out in the jungle or other areas of my life. Not that I'm perfect...I'm certainly not. I could be a better friend, not drop so many balls (and I drop a fair few!), and be more focused and more organized and be more thoughful and follow through a bit more on things...and I could go on and on forever here...but I'm trying...trying to finish unfinished things on my long list as well as lay it all on the line a little more.

And...I'm going to give the last 3 months of this wonderful year of intentional living the best I've got...and finish strong. I can't believe the past 9 months have gone by so fast. I can hardly believe all that's happened over the past year...all the wonderful, terrific and amazing things, experiences and moments.

It's overwhelming to look back and see how far we've come!

Even still, I can say that I probably could have done more. Tried harder. Been more focused....

BUT...that's life. (And it feels good to just "tag that toe and let it go" when it comes to feeling guilty...

OH! LIghtbulb moment....living intentionally might be about living guilt-free... forgiving myself and letting myself off the hook a little for not being perfect...and just letting go of the past...

Wow! Wouln't that be amazing! Wouldn't that help people finish strong...I know it would certainly help me!

I'm here now...and I'm going to finish strong!

I love you Mom. Thank you for making it OK that I'm not perfect and that a race finish time or medal or even finishing doesn't mean anything to you...all that mattered to you was that I made it out of the swim alive and was happy...which was an example to me that it's OK to save a little so I finish strong and not get too wrapped up in running someone else's race (or trying to keep up to someone else's pace). All that matters is running my own race, at my own pace and doing the best I can in this moment.

And, truly, every day, I think we all do the best we can on that day - in that moment - and it's really pointless to say or think or feel, "Oh, I could have done better." Because...really...if we could have done better...we would have done better.

Tonight, I made a little island on the living room floor with a big blanket after I got home from teaching in Penticton. And then, I got a few books, a couple pillows, my laptop and the phone...and I stayed on the island reading, talking to Amelie on the phone for an hour, writing a few emails to friends and playing with Scotia.

I love being on the "island"... in touch and out of reach.

And a little island time is a great way to get back to my center so that I can finish strong.

I love you.
See you soon!
love Crystal

Give a little...take a little

Give a little...
On Saturday I gave a speech to some runners in a "learn to run" clinic at the Running Room on goal-setting and motivation. I feel so honoured to be asked to give a speech (whether I'm paid in cash or in 30% off coupons for new runners) because there's just something so humbling, for me, in that people want to hear what I have to say.

Who knew?

Most (if not all) of what I've learned has been through experience...and it's so true that most "experience" is either gained by trial and error or through making mistakes or by sheer luck (and I'm lucky to be pretty lucky).

In my speech, I told the group some of my trials and tribulations...and how I've learned quite a bit of how to do things right...by first, doing them wrong. Completely wrong!

I shared my experience of learning to run...and my first marathon...when I was on a training run with a friend (14 years ago) and it the 20 mile run, the last big run before the race, and I had 2 gatorade bottles that I was carrying...and I didn't want to carry them both...so I drank one whole bottle of gatorade before starting the run, so I wouldn't have to carry it. It seemed like good logic at the time, but about two hours in to the run, things started to go sideways...

I bonked.

The big sugar rush (of that entire gatorade bottle) wore off and I hit the wall completely.

With an hour still to go...I walked the last 5 miles home alone...vowing never to do that again.

I shared 5 key points in my talk...
1. Have a goal. For me, to be inspired, I've got to aspire towards something.
2. Know why you're running. (I shared the story of running 100km, raising $ for the women in Africa. It was a good story. It's hard to believe we ran 100km all in one day. We're just planning our 6th annual Great Big Run For Africa right now...and in the past 5 years, we've raised over $100,000...not bad for 4 girls-a couple meetings/year-each taking turns on what's become a relay run-and laughing in the RV all day!
3. Pay attention to the stories in you're head. I shared the example of how, for my entire life, I've thought I was not a good runner, even though I've done lots of running...and how one person can make such a positive influence when they help you change the story in your head... When Eric told me I was a good runner (He had to state specific examples of my running...and I still didn't really believe it...) but during the race, I told myself "I'm a good runner!" over and over and over...and...apparently...telling myself this new story seemed to make it come true.
4. Join a group. This one was self-explanitory...Simply put - we're better together. And we can go farther (in life and on a run) when surrounded by friends.
5. Find someone that believes in you. I ended with my story of Pete and how he did his best to teach me how to swim (in 3 weeks) for my first triathlon...and I went from there, barely finishing, to the Ironman within a year.

I think I've done about 30 of these speeches, on various topics, for the Running Room. I feel very blessed to meet such amazing people; some learing to run; some elite runners; some somewhere in between...but all totally inspiring b/c they are out there running even though there's a million things that they probably need to do before the day is done. I find the "learn to run" clinic the most inspiring b/c, for these people, running is a far-off dream and they found the courage to somehow show up and give it a try!

Very cool!


And I also took some time for me. Took some time to putter around the house. Took some time to garden for a couple hours. Took some time to play with Scotia. Took some time to look at holiday destinations. Took some time to read. And Relax. Laugh with friends. Listen to Gwen in one of her fabulous performing moments. And talk with friends about ideas, dreams, my career and holiday plans!!!

I think I'm getting my career/calling sorted out! Yes - miracles do happen! Thank GOD!

I went running - ran 2 hours a couple days ago! Felt fabulous! Then, today, I went and did exercises and stretching on the dock. It was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous!

I feel so blessed!

It feels good to give a little...and take a little.

Love you, Mom.
Can't wait to see you!
Did the Rider's win?
love Crystal

Christmas is coming!!!!!

Christmas is just around the corner!!!
Here's a look at a few photos from years gone by.
I can hardly wait for this year's Christmas fun! Flights are booked!
can't wait to see you and Don!!!
You're amazing, Mom!
Love you,
Crystal
PS: Where on earth did you get this bunch?

Anticipation.

The anticipation of something is almost as good as the thing itself sometimes...

Like when you plan a holiday. I like to plan far in advance so that I can daydream, plan, think about and get excited about the holiday! It's sort of a let-down for me if a holiday is planned on the spur of the moment b/c then I don't get to plan or create/feel the anticipation over everything. And God knows I like to get excited about most anything.

I like to get my suitcase out. Start making a little pile of things to take. Research places to go and things to see. And relish in the thought of going on a holiday...even if it's months away.

I like the anticipation experienced with planning a holiday, going out for dinner or having friends over. Not that I don't love a surprise b/c I do...but then I get to make an "experience" out of it and do/add the little extra things I like to create.

Like you coming out to visit!!! Yay!!!!!!!! Or coming home early for Christmas! Thx for calling tonight Mom. I am booking my flight for Monday or Tuesday before xmas until the 26th. I'm looking forward to being your helper and the cutting/chopping queen! I'll talk to Gwen and we'll book flights asap!!

Here's a photo of Gwen's house decorated for their anniversary. I'm not sure if they had much time to anticipate and celebrate before their anniversary but I think they had a great evening out. You can't tell, but the tiki posters on the garage are actually quite big!


Right now I'm planning a few things that will give lots of opportunity for anticipation....a surfing holiday, some new work plans that are in the works and another ironman race next year (you didn't think that could possibly have been the last, I hope.) :)

Love you, Mom.
Thanks for your call!
It's so nice to talk with you!
You're really make everyone's day with just a few minutes with you.
See you soon,
Love Crystal

Real life can be so funny....

911 Phone Call that a 4 year old boy made...

Operator: 911 emergencies
Boy: Yeah, I need some help.
Operator: What’s the matter?
Boy: With my math.
Operator: With your mouth?
Boy: No with my math. I have to do it. Will you help me?
Operator: Sure. Where do you live?
Boy: No with my math.
Operator: Yeah, I know it. Where do you live though?
Boy: No, I want you to talk to me over the phone.
Operator: No, I can’t do that. I can send someone to help you.
Boy: Okay, um.
Operator: What kind of math do you have that you need help with?
Boy: I have take aways.
Operator: Oh you have to do the take aways.
Boy: Yeah
Operator: Alright, what’s the problem?
Boy: Um, you have to help me with my math.
Operator: Okay. Tell me what the math is.
Boy: Okay. 16 take away 8 is what?
Operator: You tell me. How much do you think it is?
Boy: I don’t know. 1?
Operator: No. How old are you?
Boy: I’m only 4.
Operator: 4!
Boy: Yeah.
Operator: Yeah. What’s another problem? That was a tough one.
Boy: Um, Oh here’s one. 5 take away 5?
Operator: 5 take away 5 and how much do you think that is?
Boy:5!
Woman: Johnny what do you think you are doing?!
Boy: The policeman is helping me with my math.
Woman: What did I tell you about going on the phone?
Operator: It’s the mother...
Boy: You said if I need help to call somebody.
Woman: I didn’t mean the police!

http://www.wimp.com/kidmath/


Oh My GOD...this is so funny, I can hardly stop from laughing. I've listened to this so many times, I think I can recite it entirely. It's hilarious! (Well...maybe not for the mother...but for the rest of the world, it's priceless!)

Real life can be so funny! And having the ability to laugh at real life, especially when things aren't sooooo funny, would be a real gift and a great way to maneuver through any situation.

Mom, I bet you could write a book on all the funny stories of your kids and grand-kids....
HEY...that's a great idea!!!!!!!!!!

Lets talk about it when you get here! I can't wait for you and Don to arrive!!!
Love you!!!!
Crystal

It's never too late...

It's never too late in the year to have a backyard party! All you need to do is string up some lights, get some blankets and build a little fire.

And add a little wine or Bailey's and hot chocolate and good friends.

It's also never too late to learn to play the guitar...or dance...or go back to school...or try something new.

It's never too late to say "I'm sorry" or try again for most things.

It's really never too late to change careers or create a new one.

It's never to late for anything!

It's never too late to get married...(Thanks Mom!) (And...um...no...don't get any ideas!)

And it's definitely never too late to celebrate a gorgeous day, like today, where there's not a cloud in the sky! The sunrise was absolutely stunning!


I'm sure it's never too late in the fall for one more trip to the beach.


Thank God it's also never too late to fix an old fridge! It gets fixed today! Hard to believe it's made in 2001. It looks almost new.










Mom, thanks for teaching me that it's never too late to try!
I love you!
Crystal
PS I miss you! When are you guys coming out!! I've got the suite ready for you and Don!!
PPS It's really never too late to make the bus in highschool with you watching out the kitchen window....or the garbage truck...if you run really fast and roll your garbage bin to the next block where the truck hasn't been yet!

Just start on SOMETHING!

"That's enough!"
Yes...that is just about enough! (I can hear you saying this Mom, in exactly your tone.)

No more missing my daily post to you, Mom. No more running around in circles. No more spinning my wheels stuck in one place.

While trying to be intentional and be in the present moment, I've got to just start on something!

I seem to be stuck in some sort of holding pattern right now. I think it's caused by my indecision and lack of clarity around my work and the direction I want to take in my career. I know I'm on the verge of something AMAZING but I'm not exactly sure what that is.

I've worked hard this past year and for several years. And there's been much of that time that I knew I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing...and now it feels like I've sort of outgrown where I've been but I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be growing into.

Secretly, I think all the work in the jungle was somehow divinely created to give me reason to slow down and be in one place, focusing on something physical that needed my attention so that I didn't have to really think. (And I thank God that it doesn't seem to end...although this is the last of the jungle offerings for this year. I picked the last peaches a few days ago and the rhubarb too. :(


I know I'm exactly where I am supposed to be...in this house...surrounded by family and friends that I love and who love me...and creating space to allow the future to unfold.

But it's FRUSTRATING! It would be easy if I was content teaching my business programs...or facilitating workshops or...or...or...AND WHILE I LOVE ALL OF THOSE THINGS...I feel that I'm being called somewhere else...to something of much greater impact on a much larger scale (not that I'm to be moving/travelling so much...b/c I don't think that's the case...but I do feel that my level of influence or what ever it is that I'm to be doing next will have a far-reaching impact to/for others.

It's very exciting. But I am frustrated. Unsure. Sort of lost. Wishing someone would tell me what to do.

Yet...I know the answer will come from within and I just have to wait and be open to it and trust that even if I don't know where I'm going, there's a higher calling that is guiding me. And I do believe that.....I just wish I knew where we were going!

For now, I realize that I have to tie up a few loose ends. Start on SOMETHING! And remain open to the gorgeous sunrise tomorrow!

This was the sunrise this morning and it was a glorious moment...one that made me stand there in awe, mesmerized.

And even if it's cloudy tomorrow (the forecast is for rain), it can still be sunny in my world...if I just get started on something and not let myself get too frustrated by this process of growth.

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

At least I'm grateful that I'm growing a little...and not going through a stagnant change.

Mom, I love you. That's enough. No more spinning my wheels. I've got lots to get to before you get here. Most of which are activities that I think God has designed for me to experience "being" in while doing them.

Love you.
See you soon.
Crystal

Mom,
I heard a great line today when watching an educational video. It said;

"If children have interest, education happens."

It's not only true of children but adults, too.

The video also mentioned "the method of the grandmother", which was to have a person stand behind students and admire them and say "Great job. You're doing really well." (This is what you do for all your grandkids and kids! Thank you, by the way.)

So, anyway, the video talked about learning and how people (not just children) learn when they're interested in something and are self-directed (meaning they go and research the answer). It was very COOL!

It made me think of what I could be doing with my future...how I could make a difference somehow in my own way...and while I don't know exactly what my calling is, it's never too late to keep trying.

After all, Sister Madonna is almost 80 and doing Ironman races. You and Don got married at 70! (I loved when you said "There's still hope for you, honey. Look at me!" (in reference to getting married at 70) :) I know a lady who went to university at 65 and became a counsellor at 69.

You're right, Mom, there's lots of hope and time for all great things to happen...
This past year has been one extraordinary year...and the one coming will be even better.

I just saw a commercial that said, "Are you reaching your potential? Your calling is calling." (That's a bit ironic and sit here writing you and thinking about my calling. WEIRD!!

Anyway, I'm rambling...but I did do my 3 little things towards my goal yesterday and today, I'm gonna get there, too! Yay! Small steps. As Cindy says, "keep moving forward". Yesterday, I went out for a long run and found myself in the pouring rain, scrambling up a dirt embankment (looking for a shortcut), laughing to myself. It was a great adventure! Sort of like life.

Today, I had a few stumbling blocks though...the freezer (with all the frozen cherries and peaches in it) died today. I think it's the whole freezer and fridge, actually, but for now, I just care about the freezer's contents. I took as much as I could to the downstairs fridge and then went out to buy a little freezer. It's plugged in and cooling now...so I think your fruit will be OK. At least I hope so. I'll check into a new fridge tomorrow.

I love you, Mom.
Thank you for sharing the true essence of the method of the grandmother to all of us!
Crystal

"Doing" vs "Being"

The past few days, I was busy "doing"....but not "being".

Doing a lot of things...work for a few clients, a workshop for a local business, lots of stuff for the hostel, spending time in he backyard jungle, hosting a party with some friends, more errands for the hostel, etc.

But something was missing.

I wasn't "being" in the moment. I was just doing all of these things. Like checking things off a checklist. (Not very intentional, I know.) Somewhere in the last couple days, I forgot to just "be".

I have not been entirely cranky the past few days...but I've been a bit off the last day or so. For sure, yesterday, I was irritable b/c my neck's been sore, giving me headaches. Poor Poopy pants me! (It would be a good name for me right now. Not literally - but figuratively.)

Inside voice: Thank GOD I'm not injured or sick very often. I don't think I'd handle it very well. I'm so used to functioning at 90-100%. I admire and respect anyone who deals with being sick, disabled or injured SO MUCH!

So...I'm thinking...was I off yesterday b/c of my neck or what?
....am I needing something? Missing something? Hhhhmmmmm? I'm not sure, but it'll be something to think about.

I think what it really is...is that just forgot something...how good things really are!

‎"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." Marianne Williamson

In my workshop the other day, the group was amazing. One of the rare businesses and teams that have it right! They work so well together, honestly like eachother, have very low staff turnover and seem very motivated from the inside out! It was amazing to be a part of their group for a day.

In the workshop, I gave them each a copy of my "90 Day Challenge" and invited them to participate in a challenge for the next 90 days....
1. Pick 2 goals (large or small, work or personal in nature)
2. Every day - do 3 tiny little things towards achieving those goals

If we did that, that would be 3 little things per day x 3 months = 270 little tiny steps towards our goals and dreams! (And if we forget or don't get these things done, that's OK too...just move on to the next day with no hard feelings or guilt!)

So...I decided to take the challenge too!

My two goals are:
1. learn to play the guitar = at least 5 songs
2. focus on my fitness and health

It's going to be a fun 90 days...

Mom, I think I might have let my mouth get away on me...b/c I told the group that I'd come in and play the guitar for them at the end of the 90 days!

Uh Oh!

It's time to start being....AND doing! I'm totally excited b/c I said one of my goals out loud and said I would commit to something....I gave my word. There's no going back now!

Mom, I'm sorry I have not written much lately. It was a busy week. And I think I lost sight of myself the past few days, just busy doing and not being. (and not living intentionally). I'm sorry!

Simply taking time to write, think about you, slow down and just be feels like a bridge to living more intentionally.

Thank you, Mom.
Love you,
Crystal

PS

PS: Practising what I preach feels pretty good. A 40 minute run on the trail this mornning really does make for a great start to the day...and now...I really must get to work!

What are you called to do?

I've been thinking about this question for years. I ask myself this question often. I ask this question in all my programs and workshops. I encourage and push people to dig deep and figure out what they are called to do.

I know and feel that I'm on the right track, moving in the direction of what I am called to do...but I'm not there yet. Sometimes I feel like I am moving forward...sometimes...moving 2 steps backwards.

Sometimes I have felt that I'm doing exactly what I am called to do. And then a year later, I'm not satisfied with whatever that was anymore...and am craving a bit of a change or something different in my career. Perhaps that's just evolution or growth. Who would want to do the exact same thing for years on end without growing, changing or evolving...so I think it's great that I'm always wanting to get better and figure out where my spirit is being called.

I just know there is more out there for me in my career. I know I am not at my potential yet. (Thank God! Wouldn't it be sad to know that the best days of my career have already passed...and I'm not even 40!) I know that I've got more to give, more to share and more inspiring to do.

And to do that, I've just got to be present, listen to my intuition and use my head but follow my heart.

This year, I am grateful as I reflect on all these changes; all the simplifying in my life; all the slowing down and being still; all the 'getting real and honest with myself'; all the de-cluttering in my surroundings and in my soul; all the work; all the changes (the new house, slowing down and refocusing on my priorities, re-evaluation of my entire life to live more intentionally) are paying off, I think.

I feel so much more joyful and joy-filled, more inspired, more at peace and more calm and relaxed.

And yet again, I just need to focus now...focus on a just a few things at a time, not everything all at once, and show up every day to follow through on those few things.

I used to have a saying that I would tell my clients/participants in my groups;

"Become more than you were when you woke up this morning."

If we just show up and become a little more, every day, then...at the end of the month, year or decade...those tiny little steps taken every day to become just a tiny bit more...will have an exponential effect on our lives.

What this really says to me is to simply practise what I preach. Follow my own advice. Maybe even do my own "90 Day Challenge" workbook that I created. (Now, that's a novel idea!)

Mom, you always practise what you preach. It's probably time I did, too.

Thank you.
Love you,
Crystal

Just as I am.

The weather yesterday was a bit dreary. Sort of rainy. Cloudy. And cool.

A perfect day to make dinner and flapper pie for some friends.

You know when you want something to turn out "just right" and you plan, prepare and think it'll all go according to plan...but then, for some strange reason...it doesn't?

That's what happened.

And the moment the milk (for the flapper pie) started boiling over the pot all over the stove, I just knew it was going to be one of those moments that just don't go according to plan.

I think I uttered a few profanities (well...lets be honest...I know I did!) and trying to salvage the situation when flustered and nervous can only lead to bad things!

Bad = runny pies that don't quite set properly.

They still tasted good, mind you, but something went wrong...I'm not sure if I didn't boil the milk enough b/c I was nervous that it would burn, or if the oven wasn't hot enough....

Hhhhhmmmmmm......

Whatever the reason, things did not go according to my expectations or plan.

The funny thing, though, is that no one seemed to mind. They just laughed and after dinner, ate the pies like they were perfect...just as they were.

It made me think of myself.

We are all 'just the way we are' in many ways.

I realized, as I ate my runny piece of pie with a spoon lastnight, life is quite extraordinary if I simply surround myself with people who love me, just as I am...and who don't mind what my pie looks like...

Mom, this is just another little lesson that you taught us. To just be ourselves. Not to try too hard or apologize for what we are (or aren't) in life or be upset when things don't work out as planned. We just are who we are. And if we can just be that, it'll all work out!




Love you.
Crystal

Little road-blocks

This is a photo of driving in India last year...when it wasn't the rainy season. I can only imagine what the roads are like now, with all the flooding the area is experiencing.

The are having serious road blocks over there. In lots of areas, the roads are no longer even there and if they are, they are under water.

It makes the little roadblocks in my life seem so minor. Frivolous. Almost non-existent.

In other parts of the world, there are no solutions that will quickly fix the problems people are facing. For the road blocks in my life, there are easy solutions...

Focus. Discipline. Fun.

I need to focus on the things I want more of in my life. It is time to be disciplined. Talk is cheap! At the same time, things need to be fun if I'm going to follow through and remain focused and disciplined in certain areas!

I often wonder "Where does the time go?"

I have no idea....it just goes.

But if I can be a little more focused and disciplined...who knows what I could actually achieve! I'm still so grateful (and slightly in awe) of the Ironman race and how well I did, considering my lack of training. (Mom, you must have been praying a LOT!) It's not really anything to be too proud of (doing OK in spite of myself)! Imagine what I could accomplish if I actually trained and had a bit of focus and discipline!!

And really...how long do I have to listen to the voice in my head talk about playing the guitar, that 6-pack I want to have once in my life or writing my book?

(Better question...How long do you have to read about it?)

It's time...to move the roadblocks, to stop talking and start doing!

So...realizing that I'm not really being too good on my own, I'm joining up with your #10...Gwen and I are on a fitness kick! well, she's always on a fitness kick... We're going to check in with one another, work out, work hard and make it happen! This will help take care of one of my aspirations.

As for the guitar and my various projects...

It's time.

Little steps every day! Time's ticking and waits for no one...so I better start walking in the direction of where I want to go...instead of simply admiring the view!

Do I really want to just sit and admire the view or actually get where I want to go!?

Really - I don't know you to sit and admire the view too long....you're too busy with your head down, walking.

Thx for the little kick in the butt that writing this has given me.
Love you, Mom. Hi to Don!
Your #8.
PS GO RIDERS in the game tomorrow!!

Hi Mom,
I love you!!

There's a great country song called, "Today I'm gonna try and change the world" that describes how you change the world every day.
It's a good day to do just that...change the world...or at least, try make it a little better with my presence.
I love you!
Say hi to Don! Tell him that Gwen and I were sending him some good vibes lastnight as we hung out together.
love Crystal
PS More later today...I'm going for a run this morning while the sun is shining!
PPS Here's the lyrics to the song...it reminds me so much of you.


TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD
GONNA TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
I'VE MADE MY RESOLUTION
I'VE OPENED UP MY EYES
TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD

I'M GONNA SAY HELLO TO MY NEIGHBOR
GREET HIM WITH A SMILE
SHAKE THE HAND OF A STRANGER
SIT AND TALK FOR A WHILE
TELL SOMEONE I LOVE THEM
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD

(REPEAT CHORUS)

GONNA MAKE SURE MY CHILDREN
KNOW THERES A RIGHT AND WRONG
I'LL NEVER TURN MY BACK
ON THOSE OF US WHO NEED SOMEONE
I'M GONNA TRY TO SEE MYSELF
THROUGH ANOTHERS EYES
TODAY IM GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD

(REPEAT CHORUS)

TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD
TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD
NOT FOR ME, BUT FOR THOSE I'LL LEAVE BEHIND
I'VE MADE MY RESOLUTION
CHANGE IT ONE DAY AT TIME
TODAY I'M GONNA TRY AND CHANGE THE WORLD

(by Johnny Reid)

3 steps to happiness...

I got this print several weeks ago and when Kate and Garth were here, they put it up in the dining room. It's perfect!



Reading a magazine the other day, called "Ode", I came across an article that talked about fulfillment and happiness. It mentioned 3 little steps that I believe in...and that you live, Mom.

3 steps to happiness and fulfillment
1. Know yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Give yourself away.

How simple is that...and so true.

I still have so much to learn, like we all do, about knowing ourselves...and I think that's a process called "life". But I love the part about being yourself. In the article, written by a priest, it mentions a note the author got from a retired bishop that said, "Many will say 'be Christ-like for the sake of others'. I say to you, 'be yourself for Christ's sake."

(...and if you can imagine the Bishop sayng the "for Christ's sake!" part with a bit of expression and pizzazz...and maybe a little sarcasm...it's quite funny, don't you think?!)

Love that! I thought you'd like it too, Mom!

And the last part is so perfect and what I really have believed all my life...to discover my gifts and share them with the world...inspiring others to do the same.

Mom, I see your your wisdom shine through everywhere, whether it's the pages of a magazine or book or something you've said or done over the years.

You have so much common sense, simple wisdom that really does lead to happiness and fulfillment just by thinking of you and trying to live a little more along those lines.

I went through every single piece of clothing I own the other day and that, in itself, has made me feel so much better! Thank you!! Now I just have to get to the garage and hang a few more pictures and decide on paint colours for the house! Hopefully by the time you get here, much of the work will be done!! I'm holding out on the kitchen cupboards waiting for you though!!

Love you,
Crystal

We only live once...

If I knew that I only lived once...and will never get another chance to live this lifetime, this year, this week, this day or this minute again...what would I choose to do differently (or the same)?

I'd try to live as much as possible like you live, Mom.

For sure, I'd take more risks (because...as I heard it said best, "the only real risk is in risking nothing"). I'd not worry too much or at all. I'd not get too stressed about anything. I'd forget about trying and just focus on being. I'd speak only of joy, happiness and positive ideas and things. I'd focus only on what I can control. I'd smile all day long and share all the joy, hope and love inside of me. I'd be completely focused on my mission in life - to lead by example, encouraging others to discover their innate gifts and talents and share them with the world. I'd laugh as much as possible. I'd celebrate life.

I'd give every minute everything I've got.

This is why I love doing Ironman triathlons. It's in those moments, during the race, that I live like this...risking all that I am, not worrying too much about the wind or weather or things beyond my control. I just focus on the present moment and being the best that I can. I smile as much as possible and make new friends, encouraging others to discover the strength inside that they never knew they had. And it's definitely out on the course that I celebrate constantly...getting through the swim, getting out on the bike and passing different land-marks, finishing the bike, and then celebrating every mile as it passes to get to the finish line. This is where I discover my best self and give every minute everything that I've got.

I have so much to learn about living this way every day...but this realization is a great start. So simple...yet so hard at times to do.

For now, I hope to run every day, even if it's for only 45 minutes, to remind me that we only live once....and to give every moment everything I've got!

Thank you, Mom, for continuing to be my inspiration...in my race last week and every day!

Here are some photos of the race...

As you can see, it was a day of big smiles and lots of joy!
Love you,
Crystal

This is the world's largest mass swim start with over 3000 competitors!


My moment to shine...going up Richter Pass!




















I never knew it...but I'm actually a good runner!





















I finished...with my third best race time...feeling fabulous!




















And so very grateful for you, Mom, and for my family and friends who are always the wind beneath my wings!





I love you Mom! Thank you for your prayers!!!

We're all meant to shine!

I had a bright idea the other day....to go out night-trail-running!

It was a good idea at the time...

But, lastnight, as it was raining, with the sun down and as we made our way out to East Kelowna and got out of the vehicle with our headlamps on...it didn't quite seem as good of an idea. It was pretty dark and the shadows of the trees...and the fact that we were running out into "nowhere" was a bit scary.

It wasn't quite dark though, so we ran for about 20 minutes on an uphill trail...until we decided that it was probably far enough. I clapped the whole way, thinking that would scare any animals away.

By the time we turned around, we needed our headlamps and it was dark! As we made our way back down to the starting point, the lights of Kelowna were so beautiful. The rain stopped. The night air was warm. It was a glorious night. A night that we would never have enjoyed if we hadn't given it a try....

It was also a fun new experience!

Lots of people run in the trails at night around Kelowna. There are adventure races that go through the night. But for a first time out, this was a pretty bold adventure....all 40 minutes! :) When we were almost back to the base of the trail, 2 runners came from another trail that joined ours. They had no headlamps. They came from the abyss of darkness. They didn't look at all afraid. I was (more than) slightly in awe of their courage and ability to see in the dark!

Getting back to the car, I was glad we attempted something new, went out on a mini-adventure and faced being afraid of the dark, out there in the middle of nowhere....

It wasn't really "nowhere". I had my cell phone and there was cell service...so really, it was just slightly off the paved road and up and around the bend.

Regardless, it was a new experience and I think, without trying new experiences, being brave and finding the courage to get out of my comfort zone, how would we discover where we shine?

I think we're all meant to shine - in a big way! Growing up, Mom, you always let us try whatever we wanted, without controlling us or forcing us (except for those organ lessons!!!) (Which I am very grateful for now, by the way!) We were given lots of opportunities to discover where we could shine...and where we didn't.

I know that baseball is not where I shine. I can barely hit the ball. I know that being ultra-organized is also not where I shine. And I know that my attention to detail is not the strongest....

But I can see the big picture in most cases, very easily. I can take on most any challenge and think "I can do that!" and I love to work hard, dig deep and see what I am capable of - in most any area. These are places I shine.

It's amazing to look at all of us...your kids and grandkids...and see how different we are...and how uniquely we shine...even though we grew up the same way with your same influence.

I can hardly wait for the next few years...to see how a little more focus, a little more discipline, a little less distraction can enable me to shine brighter.

I see that "the answer is yes" and it's time to shine in new areas of interest - playing the guitar, getting a grip on this jungle, developing new (and existing) business ideas and creating new products...I'm so excited about that!

So...if the answer is "yes" to these new things....what must I say "no" to, in order to create space to shine in these areas?

If I truly want these new things, I have to say no to other things...or somehow create space to shine in new areas...

To start, I am thinking of where I spend my energy and time...and the biggest thing that I see is that I could be so much more organized. I waste so much time being disorganized....from the clothes in my closet to the garage that has yet be unpacked....
These are 2 places to start!

It's time...
Love you, Mom. Thank you for helping me shine...and for the courage to try something new...and to then turn around when I think it's time!
Love Crystal

Creating space...

Well, I finally got my running shoes on, for the first time since the race, and went for a run through the park in Caseloma. Not too long, just over 40 minutes, and after a week of doing absolutely nothing, it felt so good to get out and get some exercise. I can't believe my body is feeling 100% already! I am blessed!!

The weather was cloudy and calm, making the sky and water almost the exact same shade of blue-gray. It was gorgeous.

Getting back to the simple things today felt good. Creating space to go for a run. Then, making time to pic those weeds in the front garden that I've had on my "to do" list for a month, a couple of which were taller than me! Oops...

I'm a bit quiet today. Not that anything's wrong. Probably just that the rush and excitement of the race is over and it's the calm, quiet time that comes after accomplishing or completing anything, creating space for the future and new opportunities.

I'm so grateful for my health and that the race went so well. So happy to share the experience with people I care so much about. So excited about the possibility of actually applying myself and seeing what I'm capable of next time.

(I know Mom...you are waiting for the day that I'm done with this racing stuff...but if Sister Madonna is doing Ironman races at 80, I must have a few years left.) :)

Lastnight, I made an amazing cherry, peach, blueberry crumble, with peaches and cherries from the backyard. I had to do something with the peaches b/c they are filling up the fridge and I needed to create space there. And I'd make fruit crumble every day if I could!!



Create space...and then fill it.

I think this is what we do in ln so many areas of our lives....

In the garden, b/c it's where there's no plants that the weeds grow.

I create space in terms of my time...and then fill it.

In the fridge, too.

And in my cupboards and closets.

Mostly, though I see how I do this....in my mind.

I create space in my mind...and then I fill that space with a new (or old) thought, idea or feeling.

I'm going to try to just create space in my mind...and leave it empty for a bit. Stop using my ipod when I run once in while. Get out and pick more of those weeds and get lost (in the jungle and in my mind), thinking about nothing.

As I write this, Mom, I'm thinking about the back closet at your house, where there's a perfect mix of creating space and then filling it....with recycling, tupperware, potatoes, jars, containers and even the roaster.

I love you. Miss you.
Can't wait to see you.
love Crystal
PS: I need to create space in my closet, garage and organize the kitchen cupboards in a better way! How about if I do the closet and garage...and save the kitchen cupboards to do with you, when you get here? :)

Attravrsiamo

Hi Mom,
We went to the movie "Eat Pray Love" lastnight. It was soooo good! It's about a girl who decides to travel the world for one year - finding herself. First she goes to Italy to indulge in food and wine and learn Italian. Then she goes to India to pray. And lastly, she goes to Indonesia (Balli) to find the balance of the two.

It was awesome! I read the book a few years ago and the movie was almost as good as the book!

One part of the movie that I really liked was an Italian word, "attraversiamo" which means "to cross over". It made me think of all the times in my life where there was a bridge to cross or a leap (of faith) to make...and how, every day, we have to take that leap of faith to move in the direction we want to go...

There are so many great quotes from the movie - many of which I can see you saying.
I think you would like the movie. We'll have to get it when it comes out on video.

Love you,
Crystal
PS Just in case you're getting any ideas, I'm not planning on travelling the world, Mom. But I am excited and getting ready for your visit to come here!!!

EAT PRAY LOVE - quotes

You want to get to the castle, you gotta swim the moat.

God dwells within you, as you.

To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.

I once recognised myself as a friend

You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.

Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark.

It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.

As smoking is to the lungs, so it resentment to the soul...even one puff is bad for you.

My Guru says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.

That's just your ego, trying to make sure it stays in charge. This is what your ego does. It keeps you feeling separate, keeps you with a sense of duality, tries to convince you that you're flowed and broken and alone instead of whole."
"But how does that serve me?"
"It doesn't serve you. Your ego's job isn't to serve you. Its only job is to keep itself in power. And right now, your ego's scared to death cuz it's about to get downsized. You keep up this spiritual path, baby, and that bad boy's days are numbered. Pretty soon your ego will be out of work, and your heart'll be making all the decisions. So your ego's fighting for its life, playing with your mind, trying to assert its authority, trying to keep you concerned off in a holding pen away from the rest of the universe. Don't listen to it."

You were given life; it's your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.

Clear out the spaces in your mind.

"There are only 2 things that people really fight about in life:
1. How much do you love me?, and
2. Who is in charge?"

The hub of calmness- that's your heart. That's were God lives within you. So stop looking for answers in the world. Just keep coming back to that center and you will always find peace.

You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.

You have to learn to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes every day..now that's a power you can cultivate.

Your treasure, your perfection is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into silence oft the heart.

To find the balance you want you must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that its like you have 4 legs instead of 2. That way you stay in the world but you must stop looking at the world through your head you must look through your heart instead.That way you will know god.

Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it.

When you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt... this is not selfishness, but obligation.

Ruin and failure is the road to transformation.

We are more than we think we could be...

Thank God for the people in my life who challenge me to believe that I'm more than I thought I could be.

Yesterday, I thanked God for the people in my life who challenge me to believe that I'm more than I thought I could be.

At the ironman race, I met someone I've admired for years. Her name is Sister Madonna. She's a nun. She's also 80. And she's done 44 Ironman races!

Yes - FORTY-FOUR!!!!!

Her brother, who actually was a "brother" also did them until he past away in his mid-eighties, a few years ago.

Sister Madonna is an inspiration to everyone in the triathlon sport. She's humble. Confident. Strong. Determined. And so much more. She didn't finish the race last week. She had trouble with her wetsuit and couldn't finish the swim. When she was telling us about it, she said,

"The Lord saved me from that awful weather on the bike. So, when I pulled myself out of the swim, I went to warm up in the med-tent and decided to volunteer there for the rest of the day."

I think God uses us for bigger things sometimes. Bigger things than we might think we're capable of.

I know that when I have faith and am open to possibilities that God, the Universe and life present to me, my life is on it's "right" path. I'm on my right path. And it's such a different path from the safe, controlled, limiting path that I might have opted for....

Today, I thank God for having a bigger use for me than what I might think I'm capable of.

My sister Gwen shows me, every day, how her life is used by God to make a difference in the world. (The day before the race, she gave me some pictures of her - to take on the race. I took those pictures and when I ran into the headwinds on the bike, I pulled them out of my little bike bag and looked at them. They gave me strength - to dig deep - to be strong - and to have faith.


Lastnight, we went to a concert by Jesse Cook at Mission Hill Winery.

It was gorgeous!!! Oh My GOD! It was a stunning evening!

Jesse Cook is one of the most amazing guitar players ever! He and his band put on a show that brought people to their feet most of the night. He was amazing! I think, in some way, there's a spiritual aspect to anyone who is soooo good at what they do. I think they are called there - to that place - to follow their path...to become what they could be.

I think we're all called to become what we could be. I think we're all called to be AMAZING at something in our lifetime!!!

...if only we'd listen to that calling.

As I write this, I am thinking about my own life - my own calling - wondering what I am called to do. I am wndering about the next phase of my life...wondering what I should be focusing on, spending my time on... to be "used" by God in my life. I'm wondering what's in me...gifts I am born with, that are wanting to get out...wondering what I am called to be, to do...to shine, to share, to inspire...

While I don't know some of these answers, I do know that living a little more intentionally, living a little more slowly, living a lot more from my heart and a lot less from my mind is a giant leap to becoming what I could be and a great step closer to being used by God for bigger things!

Love you, Mom.
Crystal

There is power in your words.

From the start line to the finish line...and a full house to an empty one....

Oh my God, Mom...it's been a big week of celebration! There hasn't been a moment to even stop and rest the past week! I'm sorry I have not written much this week. It's been non-stop laughing, fun, visiting and celebrating with family and friends since the race. The house has been filled with family, food, festivities (wine) and laughter. The only thing missing is you and Don.

Kate and Garth left today after a wonderful time spent here. I think they really had a great time. Gwen and Rob have been over every night this week for dinner, too, and all of us have had such a good time together!

There really is nothing like family! We are all so very blessed.

I don't know where to start...
The race seems like forever ago, but I wanted to tell you about it and then I'll get to your famous flapper pie that Kate and I made (which turned out superb...thx to your recipe and instruction)! You would have been proud! I am my mother's daughter!

It's so funny...Mom, you shine through each of us in different ways. Your sense of taking care of everything and covering all the details is totally evident in Kate. She calmly takes care of everything, like you do. And then your sense of humour is definitely present in Gwen. She is hilarious. Lastnight, and, well, most nights, she is in fine form! I'm not sure what part of you comes through me, but I'm sure there are so many parts of you in all of us...how lucky for us.

So...the race!

Mom, it was truly one of my best races. For many different reasons...

Thankfully, I was pretty organized and had all my stuff laid out and ready to go.

It was very windy the days before the race. I was quite nervous, obviously. The weather was not cooperating. The day before the race, when we were checking our bikes in and giving our transition bags (with bike gear in one bag and running gear in another), it was still windy!

While we were there, I thought I should get down on my knees and pray a little! ;)

I know....I was sort of kidding around....but there's "truth in humour"!
I did pray a lot before the race. During the race. And after.

There were over 3000 people in the race! This made it the world's largest mass swim start ever! I'll have race photos for you (from the photographers) in a few days, to show you how incredible it really was.

On race morning, the water was like glass. It was perfectly calm. Sunrise was still an hour away as we got down to the transition area to get ready for the race. But by the time the canon went off to start the race at 7am, it was quite light out.

I had a great start to the swim. It felt easy. I wasn't stressed at all. And while I tried to find people to swim behind, and draft, I mostly stuck to myself, simply moving forward, closer to the turn-around and tried to sing songs in my head. Before I knew it, I was on my way back to the shore. At one point, I found myself sort of daydreaming, like when I go out for a training swim, so I had to get back near the other swimmers b/c they motivate me to focus and get my head in the race. Getting back to shore was awesome and although I spent 10 minutes in transition, getting changed and ready to get on the bike (not sure what exactly I was doing for that long), I eventually got on the bike and cheered and waved to everyone as I sped through town. It was wonderful to see people that I knew and wave, smile and enjoy the time. Someday, I should be more competitive and focus on the race, but this day was not one of those days. I was a bit nervous about the race still, due to my minimal training, so I just wanted to take it easy and have fun.

The bike ride started out FAST! For 2 hours,to the base of Richter Pass, I was in my zone, singing songs in my head and feeling like a machine! I should mention the awesome tailwind that pushed me forward through the first 50km. It was awesome!

Then, at the base of Richter pass, I stopped for a moment to rest. On training rides, I always stopped here so that's what I did in the race. Just for a couple minutes. To relax. To breathe.

A rider from Mexico (they were all in orange jerseys) asked if I was OK as he passed by. I said yes and thought to myself, "gee. That was nice of him."

Then I got on my bike and started my favourite part of the bike course. The 12km climb up Richter Pass. Smiling pretty much the whole way, I started catching up and then passing people. Not that I'm a better rider, just that I know the course so well and have been up and down this hill probably 30 times over the years. And I'm a pretty good climber with these muscular legs of mine.

Some days I wish for long skinny legs...but not this day. I'll take my legs any day on race day!

I ended up passing the guy from Mexico and we chatted for a bit. His name was Salvador. I thanked him for asking if I was OK. Then I told him this phrase I learned on the Diva Retreat. "Vamanos a'la ching gara!" (It means "Lets get the f&^% out of here!"

He laughed!

I said that we should say this to ourselves as we reach the top of the pass! He said "OK!" with a big smile on his face.

Getting to the top of Richter Pass was a breeze and I stopped there to eat a power bar. People were wondering why I was stopping. I just wanted to. It was a mini-celebration and as I broke the race into tiny pieces, this was one piece to get through and celebrate before moving on to the next piece. I also wanted to eat and ensure that I would be hydrated and taking in proper nutrition all day.

I also had to take out my retainer to eat. I heard that wearing a retainer and having something to bite down on (not just clenching your jaw) adds 10-15% power output. Dr Gerasim told us this years ago when we got braces and made me a retainer when were doing the bike trip across the country. I wore my retainer in Cozumel and it worked out there so I thought I should try it again.

It was working!

Back on the bike, the next 20km were easy! That's because I was flying down the hills at 60km per hour! Whaahhhh...hooooooo!!!!!!! Taking up the whole lane, no traffic to worry about. It was my moment to shine.

Up. and down. 7 rolling hills. Up. Down. Up. Down....

It was perfect! I was having a fabulous ride!!!

Until the road turned to the right and the headwinds started! The downhills seemed flat and pedalling down them was not fun. Pedaling up was even harder. The flats became a challenge.

Out in any race, there's a moment where you get to "meet yourself". Where you get to see what you're made of.

I knew that was that moment.

I knew I wasn't going to quit. I also knew that it wasn't going to get easier. The headwinds were going to be there for a while. I knew the course. I couldn't pretend. It was time to dig deep.

As I passed one person on the sideline, he quietly said those words, "Dig deep." as I passed. They stuck with me for the next 20km as I truly had to dig deep to get through the headwinds and 120-140km point.

Then, the famous Yellow Lake climb started and once again, I was out of the wind and in my element. It was cold, the road was wet (it had rained earlier) and I said the phrase, "40km to finish." over and over and over. And over. There were cars and people lining the road way. I imagined you and our family out there like in my first race and smiled most of the way up.

The people on the sidelines were so encouraging.

Getting to the top was a welcomed reprieve. I stopped again there and went to the bathroom. Put on my arm-warmers b/c the descent would be cold, heading down into town. Got a 1 minute shoulder massage from the volunteer. And got back on Lexi (my bike) (Short for Lexus...b/c if my bike were a car - it would surely be a Lexus.) :)

Once again, I found myself smiling brightly, holding on tight and loving the reward for getting up the Pass. Sailing down the last 30km into town was a joy! Once back in Penticton, I waved and cheered for the people on the sidelines because they were out there cheering for me and everyone else. It's amazing. If you wave and cheer - they wave and cheer! If you just ride by silently. They let you ride by in silence. What a waste that would be - for everyone!



Getting off my bike was a dream come true. It was only then, that I thought about the next part.

The marathon.

I got my runners on. Brushed my teeth. Grabbed my little piece of paper with a bunch of songs on it and stuffed it into my pocket (in case I needed a little inspiration later).

I put on my new Ironman hat, sunglasses and big smile and headed out to the marathon. (I got the same visor for you that you can wear fishing, Mom! You're going to love it!)

Running through the first mile was easy. So many people. The music. The welcomed feeling of being off my bike....

But after the first couple miles, reality sets in. There is still a long ways to go. I had made it so far though and my swim and bike were awesome! And I still felt strong physically. Mentally, my confidence was growing stronger and stronger because I knew this was (or could be) one of my fastest races if I could remain focused.

Something happened to me out there on the run course, Mom. Something that I'll remember forever.

You know how you always told me that "I could do anything."? Maybe you don't even remember telling me this, Mom, but you did. Years ago, you said, "You can do anything you want, Crystal." Well, I believed you then and over the years, I've reminded myself of this countless times. It's because you told me this, that I can do anything, that I actually can. If you didn't tell me, I would never be the person I am today. I would never have believed that i could do anything. And I likely wouldn't have ever attempted so many big and small things in life.

Well, I've always thought that I was a bad runner. That I wasn't very fast. And it's slowed me down a lot over the years. I've never thought I could really run and it's been disappointing for me to be able to swim and bike moderately but not feel lke I could run very well.

Mom, I was out running with Eric months ago and he said to me , "You know, you're a good runner." I didn't really believe him. But he said it again and again. And the day before the race, he said to me again, "You're a very good runner."

I listened.

And out there on the course, for the first time, I thought that just maybe, I might be a good runner.

I told myself, over and over, as each mile passed, "I'm a good runner! I'm a good runner!"

And I ran. And ran. And before I knew it, I was at the 8 mile point, and Eric passed me (on his way in to finish) and he gave me a big hug that reminded me that I'm a good runner! From mile 8-13, I smiled, thanked the volunteers and walked through every aid station, drinking gatorade, eating those gells that weren't so good any more...and the rest of the time...I ran.

Because I finally believed that I'm a good runner!

At the turn-around, I knew I was going home and nothing would stop me from getting to teh finish line. I knew that Gwen and Kate and everyone would be there! I was so excited to get there!

Mile 16-20 were not easy and I walked a bit. But mostly, I ran. Unless it was up a hill, I ran. I told myself that I could walk up the hills but I had to run every other part, except through the aid stations. And that's what I did.

At mile 20, just 10km to finish, I started to kick it into gear (if you can call it that)! The smile on my face was bigger than ever. It was getting dark but I would be finished before they passed out glow-sticks, which is always a goal of mine!

Mile 20-24 sailed by and now I was back in town. I knew Gwen would be out there and I was so excited to see her. She has a tradition where she comes running out on teh course to find me and we run a bit together. And at mile 24, there she was! Well, at first I could not see her...but boy, could I hear her! There she was, larger than life, an angel in disguise, carrying me home! We flew the next mile together and as we came to a corner, she said, "Look for the red sweater!"

when I came around the corner, with one mile to go, I saw the legendary red sweater, swirling in the air, like there was nothing else there. Never mind teh hundreds of people, all I could see was teh red sweater! And all I could feel was the strenght of my family, carrying me to the finish line.

I stopped to hug Kate, Garth, friends...and ran the last mile surrounded by cheering, screaming people on the sidelines.

Even a bunch of the staff from teh hostel came out to the race. And as I ran the last mile, I heard them cheering so loudly for me - it was truly amazing! I felt so lucky!

I felt like I was on fire, Mom. I passed so many people...all the people that I thought would surely beat me; people I saw in the start of the marathon, who I felt would obviously beat me because "they looked like such good runners.".

I passed them all.

I could hardly contain my emotion. Not at beating them. But at realizing that when someone believes in me...I believe in me.

And I realized for the first time in my life, that I really am a good runner!

The last mile was a small miracle. I thanked God for my life. For myt healthy body. For my family. For the day and for every moment.

They say that out there, somewhere on the Ironman course, your life will change forever.

Mine did.

As I ran through the final few hundred meters and crossed the finish line, I held my arms out to my sides; embracing the moment, embracing my life, embracing the people I love and all that I've been blessed with.

I finished in 14 hours and 13 minutes. My third best race ever!

If the headwinds were less and if I didn't stop so many times to go to the bathroom, I think I would have possibly finished in 13:45...and maybe even better. Who knows...it might have even been my best race ever, beating 13:37, if I didn't stop to have so much fun!

But what fun would that be?

I'll write more and add photos soon, Mom, but I hope you know how grateful I am to you for telling me that I can do anything. You might not realize the power in your words, but I do.

You have not only changed my life with the power of your words, you have made my life what it is.

Thank you, Mom.
I love you and I'm forever grateful.
Crystal