We celebrated Christmas Eve, lastnight, at my sister's home. Gwen has the most cozy, welcoming home - because she and her husband are the same. So loving. Laughing constantly. I love going to their house...it reminds me of going home to my mom's. Their fridges are both jam-packed, filled to maximum capacity with great food, left-over's and so much more! We had a great evening. It was wonderful. I don't know what I would do without Gwen in my life. She is my best friend. For her and all my brothers and sisters and parents, I am so grateful.
Today, Gwen, a few close friends and I went snowboarding/skiing in the glorious sunshine and celebrated Christmas Day together. It was a gorgeous day! The snow sparkled in the sunshine! It was stunning!
Tonight, we watched a CNN show about local heroes. This show was a "sign" for me to see for many reasons. It clearly brought to light where I'm floundering and lost.
Angela Ivory, one of the CNN Heroe recipients for 2009 said something profound. She said that she moved from thinking "Why me?" upon being diagnosed with breast cancer, to "What for?".
My mother didn't say these words, but she lived them every day, as well.
My mom had lots of reasons to say "Why me?" but her perspective is like Angela's. She lives out the question, "What for?". She has a calling. She knows it. It is to have and raise her family well, to live in her faith and to love everyone she meets and treat them with the utmost of care. Her life is a continual act of service to God and all those she loves. I am so amazed by her.
I don't really know what my calling is though. I know it is "to make a difference", which I think is a calling we all share. I know that I am here to use my gifts and talents to make a difference in the world. However, I don't really know what that looks like. I have not found my exact path. I have not found the "one" compelling cause to support and spend my life in service of. I dream of finding my one major focus, dharma or opus. My purpose! I believe that when I do, my life and path will have a much greater meaning and impact. I can see, so clearly in my mind that I can almost taste it, the huge difference it would make....to use my energy and passion in ONE area, rather than just sprinkling it everywhere. I see others who have found their path, whether they always knew it very early on in life or stumbled across it.
I can see countless examples and with this focus, they make a much bigger impact on the world:
John Wood found his path and started Room To Read
My friend, Melanie Maure, found her path serving others and helping them through trauma with her amazing talents and she uses all of her talents in her practise:yoga, mediatation, nutrition, somatic therapy, all of this and more.
My mom, of course, found her path and is the most amazing mother and friend in the world.
Lance Armstrong found his path to not only cycle but to support cancer research.
My sister Gwen has found her path in the same way as Melanie, using a blend of her gifts and talents, including massage, reflexology, personal fitness training, health and more.
I could go on and on with examples of people who have found their purpose.
This year, Mom, I hope to find my purpose. It's only Day 6 of this little project but I think this blog will help. Mom, I know it will be a blend of all of my past experiences (the good and bad) and what I have learned from them. I believe it will involve sharing my gifts and talents. I trust that I will recognize it when it is presented to me and I have faith that the time is now.
I love you Mom. It was so nice to see you last week.
Merry Christmas.
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