Over a decade ago, I called you, mom, crying the blues about something. You listened patiently for a few minutes as I complained, cried and cursed about something. I don't remmeber what I was upset about, but I remember what you said, as if it were yesterday. After a few minutes, you interrupted me and asked, "Dear, is anyone else there?" to which I replied, sniffling, "no". Then you said, matter-of-factly, "Well then, if no one else is attendign your "Pity Party", why don't you leave?". I was dumbfounded. It took me a moment to actually grasp the meaning of what you were saying, and when I did, it was enough to make me snap out of my rant (and rut).
Over the past 10 years or more, I've thought of this comment countless times, and it always makes me snap out of whatever rut I'm in.
Living intentionally today, I started to create my roadmap of benchmarks to achieving all that I wrote yesterday. I still acknowledge that I've been in, and probably am still in, that rut or place of discomfort. I know I'm learning a lot by being here. I love the line, "pain is inevitable, growth is optional". I'm excited to choose the option of growth. This is where the greatest gifts/insight are.
I was at a Christmas party tonight, which was so wonderful. Upon sharing/visiting I mentioned to a few of my colleagues that I've been in a difficult place, emotionally, the past couple of weeks. It felt so good to be absolutely truthful and real and honest about this instead of giving politically correct pleasantries.
I have (often) brushed things under the rug, tried to keep quiet to avoid making waves and I've withheld the truth in the past. A long time ago, I have simply backed down to avoid confrontation. It really is time to speak up, be heard and get real with myself and others.
I am realizing that honesty (with myself) and truth (with others) are the only "get out of Pity Party free" cards that work in life. It feels good to be real and tell the truth - when I'm happy - and when I'm not.
It's time to find a bigger problem and get real with myself. The "bigger problem" I'm choosing is to have one amazing year filled with all the things I really want in my life!
Thanks Mom, for encouraging me to leave the party!
I love you.
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2 comments:
I am very much liking what I have read Crystal. Your being real and telling me where you are at is an even bigger inspiration to me. You have a blog follower now. Allow me to ride your coat tails and gain my own momentum so that I too can fill my sails with my own goals and focus on living intentionally. The possibilites are endless.
Yeah to your mom!
Here's to making waves and speaking your truth; all with a healthy intention. From one conductor to another. ;)
The possibilities ARE endless. You can do anything you want to do. I believe in you...nd in your dreams.
Thank you for writing and for being an example of "truth" for me. I am grateful and blessed.
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