I didn't know it at the time, of course, but a I look back and reflect... it was one of those few pivotal moments in in my life that changed the course or direction of my path forever...so much so, that I cannot even fathom who I would be...had that day not been "my" day!
It was 9 years ago...
I was (and still am) a member of this amazing group called the "Junior Chamber". They were having a public speaking competition. They had this "effective speaking" competition every year...and being too shy, I didn' sign up to compete right away. A couple years passed and finally...I thought I was ready. I signed up for the local competition within our group.
There was virtually no competition and I was grateful. I practised my speech. Sort of. I told myself I did my best...but inside, I knew I didn't.
Regardless of my lack of preparation, I won and went on to compete at the regional level. I don't know why I didn't try my best...I just didn't. I practised...but not enough.
Don't ask me why. I have no idea. To this day, I still have no idea.
At the regional competition, I lost. Disastrously! I went over-time, I was nervous and I stumbled on a few of my lines. It was awful! I was so embarrassed!
Ohh, how I wished for another chance. An opportunity to "do my best". I didn't care about winning. After all, I had already lost. I just wanted to ease my heavy heart and the only way to do that was to do my absolute very best.
One day, as the national competition was coming closer (which I was not invited to attend b/c I didn't win the regional competition), one of my greatest mentors came to me and told me that since I had competed at the regional level, I was eligible to compete at the national level.
Humbly, I knew my wish was granted. I had my second chance...an opportunity to let go of the burden (not of failure...but of not doing my best). I signed up to compete. Practised until I could practise no more. The months and weeks flew by. A few other friends (who were also going to Ontario for the convention) and I got on the plane and arrived in Fort Erie, ON, for the National Junior Chamber Convention.
I practised some more....felt strangely calm.
The topic was "Management - Inspiration or perspiration". I had just started the hostel a couple of years before...so I knew all about management...inspiration...and perspiration. I loved the topic. But I added a twist to it: Management - inspiration, perspiration...AND DESPERATION!
In my speech, I shared my story of management...the inspiration of starting the hostel, the perspiration of fixing the property...and the desperation of having absolutely no other option than to make the business successful (with interest-only mortgage pmts of $3000/month)!
It was a good speech...and I was proud of it. I lived it. It was real. No one wold have a speech as original and true as mine. So many speakers quote other famous speakers and repeat other people's stories that they've heard, like the age-old "starfish" story...and they're not original. Now, I DO like the starfish story...but, speaking professionally, as a business consultant now and even back then, as someone relatively new to the speaking industry, I always wanted to share my own stories as a means to inspire others, rather than repeating concepts or ideas that have been heard a million times before...
So...anyway, I went to sleep the night before my speech and I prayed for two things:
1. to do my very best
2. to be funny
When I woke up, the room was so bright that I knew the sun was shining even before I opened my eyes. Then...slowly...I opened one eye... and I just FELT that "Today was going to be my day!"
I got ready in my new clothes that I bought especially for this day. A brand new pant suit that I splurged on...spending more money on that outfit than I had ever spent before in my life on clothing. It looked good. And I felt great!
As the competition began, I was so excited! Uexplainably excited...but not nervous. I had nothing to prove. I had already done my best by practising and being prepared. that was all I had come to do. My heart was light already, before the competition had even begun.
All the competitors have to wait outside in another room. We could not hear one another's speeches. There were two competitions: a 7 minute prepared speech and an impromptu speech (where they give you a topic and you have 1 minute to prepare as you stand up there on stage and then you must give a 2-3 minute speech on the topic.
I was in the middle of the group for the prepared speech competition. I waited calmly, trying to contain my enthusiasm. Finally, it ws my turn.
I remember walking calmy to the front of the large auditorium. I had a few props that I would show during my speech. I smiled at the leather work gloves that I had brought to show (during the perspiration part). I looked out at everyone. Breathed. Smiled. And did my speech....flawlessly. It was more than I could ever ask for.
I was so grateful.
Then, after everyone had completed their speech, the impromptu competition began. I waited and waited until it ws my turn. They called me in.
The topic was "Karaoke singing". My mind went blank. I had no idea what to talk about. The minute of preparation went by slowly. Then, it came to me. The previous night, there was a party and one of the very well-known guys was singing a song by Elvis, "Can't help falling in love with you.". I started off talking about my love of singing and how I longed to be a singer...wishing for a chance to sing before a large group...and then I made reference to the guy, Daryl, singing the night before..and began my own personal rendition of the song, "Can't help falling in love with you"...to the entire audience at the top of my lungs.
In that moment, I was the real "me", living with abandon, without fear, taking chances, giving 100% of everything I had in me, leaving nothing on the table.
As I walked out of the auditorium, the sound of laughter and applause followed me...
I did my best. And I was funny. Very, very funny.
The rest of the day was a blurr. The evening banquet arrived, where they announce the winners. I was having a great time, long forgetting about the competition....
Until Darren, the MC of the evening began his announcements...And there he began to share tid-bits of information about the winner without announcing their name... what they spoke about, their passion, talent, humour...the fact that they couldn't pronounce "karaoke" correctly...and...incredibly it started to sound like me!
I was shocked.
When my name was called, I went up to receive my award, as the Canada National Effective Speaking Champion, and I could only smile. I was completely speechless. Winning had never entered my mind. I simply wanted another chance....so I could do my best...and ease that heavy heart of mine.
Then the reality hit that I would also receive a trip to Brazil (to compete at the world-semi-finals) the following year.
That year flew by...and in Brazil, I placed second at the world-semi-finals.
More importantly than any award, I learned the value of doing my best....not to win...but to have a light heart.
The olympics are on right now...and I think the athletes, too, need not worry about feeling the pressure of getting that gold medal around their neck, weighing heavily on their chest...but rather, focus simply on doing their best and having a light heart. (easier said than done, I know...)
I've written about this in my blog before....about doing my best...you know, "98% is a bitch...100% is easy"...and it reminds me again of my mom...how she always did her best when she did anything. Anything. And everything.
I am very lucky.
And tonight, after a big day of work today in Edmonton, my heart is light as I fall into bed.
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