A little fear is a good thing!

That's right. A little fear is a very, VERY good thing!

When we were growing up, there was a very clear line between what was acceptable behaviour and what was not. And at least from my perspective, there was a bit of fear surrounding what would happen if I crossed that line.

I remember crossing the line on a few occasions. Like when I was 15, Mom said we could not go out on this particular night, before going out to spend the evening with her own friends. I didn't listen and I snuck out with my boyfriend, returning home an hour before Mom got home, sweeping the skiff of snow off the front walk and step to erase my tracks. Well, Mom knew instantly that "someone had snuck out" and I had to 'fess up and deal wit the consequences.

The consequences were huge...that my mom would be disappointed that I didn't listen to her and that I had let her down. Something I would never ever want to do.

Yes, fear can be a very good thing. It can be used as a sort of "litmus test" or a barometer (not measuring atmospheric pressure, but my own feelings around something).

When I was in Mexico competing in the Ironman race 2 months ago, I went down early to practise. The waters were calm and I was confident!

But then, just 3 days before the race, a storm came in with winds that were so strong, it knocked out sheets of glass in the railing of the restaurant at my hotel! Fear set in like the ocean waves crashing on the shore!

I was no longer confident in my race but, rather, very fearful of even being able to make it through the swim. If the wind kept up, I would never make it through the 3.8km swim in the allotted 2 hour time limit. Never.

The 2 days before the race passed so slowly with my fear running high. And then, just as fast as the storm had come in, it left, leaving race morning to be among the calmest ever!
Fear turned into relief. Gratitude. Joy. Thankfulness. Humble graciousness.

And there was the gift for me. With humility, gratitude and a perspective of thankfulness, rather than outward confidence, I found my inner strength. It helped me to race my fastest 3.8km swim ever at 1:09! (I do think the swim course was a bit shorth though...but still - it was a great swim specifically b/c I had to dig deep, under my fear, to find what I was really made of.)

Yes...fear, in the right context, can be a very good thing...helping me to find my inner strength and enabling me to do the right thing. (Well, um, er...except when i was 15 and boy-crazy). :)

Love you Mom.
Thank you for the little bit of fear you made sure we honoured and respected when we were young.
crystal