Forget the "10 toes test"!

As the days and weeks pass and it dawns on me that it's been almost 4 months since starting this blog in honour of my mom, I'm amazes me how much more simple and clear life has become in so many ways. Not only b/c of writing this blog, but that's definitely been a part of it.

I gotta admit, in other ways, I find myself still floundering (like with those extra 5 pounds that have materialized and the 6-pack that has not) or the garage that still has yet to be "de-cluttered" and lots of other things. I'm soooo not perfect...but perfection really wasn't the objective.

...it was about living intentionally and re-living the wit and wisdom of my mom.

It does astound me how much more simple and clear life is though, over the past year. I've always been one of the most positive, motivated and happy people I know. My life was never very complicated and drama is something that seems to only find it's way into my life on occasion. But I was a bit "scattered". Filled with indecision about a lot of things. Not committed to or confident in myself. Sort of "all over the map". I still am in some ways (Scattered and all over the map, but not the other things.) What I am finding is that I seem to have a greater clarity and awareness to know how I feel, to know what I want, and a much easier ability to be "me" without reservation or regard for what others think. (I just love that line I heard from a very amazing lady, "What you think of me is none of my damn business!" I have way more hope and a much more simple perspective on life and what makes me happy. And I am much more committed...to me and what I believe in.

That's what it's about...

Commitment.

Today, our DIVA Retreat group met to have a "pre-retreat" meeting to cover what to pack, what to bring, and to go over a brief outline of the week. At the end of our time together, I had a bunch of silver inspirational rings in a bowl for everyone to (close their eyes and randomly) take. Each one said something different...like love, inspire, joy, happiness, commitment, gratitude, or faith.

The one I randomly chose was "commitment".

(Secretly, I think you get the one you're "supposed to get" sometimes!)

I think this word "commitment" is a big piece to my puzzle...because when I'm committed to what I want or believe in, whatever it is, there's no stopping me. (Mom, I think I get this from you!) It's just a matter of time and space...It's an incredible feeling when I'm committed to something...Wow! But when I'm not committed...wow (same word - completely different meaning!)...life gets confusing, chaotic and energy-draining.

"Soul-sucking" would be a better word.

My life has become much more clear and simple because I am more committed to me...and my dreams.

Writing this blog has been a life-changing commitment. Focusing on living more intentionally has been a commitment. Not using plastic has been a great commitment, albeit an easy one. Being just "me" in my most open, real and im-perfect way, without being consumed with what others might think has been a much harder commitment.

Of course, there are other things that I've been "interested" in...but not passionate about or committed to...(YET)...like...exercise (darn it!); the de-cluttering still continues; dance lessons, guitar lessons and singing lessons have yet to materialize as well...but on the DIVA retreat, I'm going to give all of this my very best! (My friend Brenda said she's going to just JUMP in...and forget the "10 toes test" and I'm with her....JUMPING IN...to share the best of me and the rest of me!

Yes, there's more that I have yet to weave into my life and get committed to.
For now, though, I realize that if I simply start with one commitment, then another and another...over time...even just 4 months, I realize the amazing impact it's had ...and that I'll never be the same again!

Thank you God! Thank you Mom!

Mom...you never ever talked to me about commitment, but you lived it every day. You're so committed to your family, your friends, your faith...and so much more.

Love you!
Hope you are having a wonderful time in Spain!!!
love Crystal

PS I heard about the concept of the "10 toes test" from a great mentor and friend named Mark. It's like a "litmus test" for me... and I think of it often when I see myself edging towards the water in whatever I am doing...Dipping my toes in...feeling the water temperature...and not jumping in. Really, it 's just better to TAKE THE PLUNGE and JUMP in!! Whoo hoo....