Nancy Drew!

My mom's away for a few weeks in Spain. It's likely that she's not going to check her blog while she's away but I wanted to still write every day, or near to that, because that's what I set out to almost 4 months ago.

Wow...how time flies by!

So...Nancy Drew.

When I was a kid, I loved Nancy Drew mysteries!

I loved to read then and still do.

A few years ago, deciding that books should not be....and are not supposed to be a replacement for a life-partner, I decided to do what what almost all single adults do, who want to meet their soul-mate or future spouse...

I went "on line".

(Dear God - please do NOT let Mom ever read this post!)

This story is completely 100% true. I am not being silly, as I was with my airplane story. I would have shared it earlier, but I wasn't brave enough until now.

I would like to share it for a few reasons.
;)

Number 1: Laughing at myself (in retrospect) is very, VERY funny. And it has healing powers in it. The ability to laugh at myself and "be" myself more and more over the past 1 1/2 years has been so life-changing, I simply do not have the words to articulate the difference it's made in my life. And for what it's worth, this story is likely the most hilarious story I've ever lived, although it wasn't funny (at all!)when it happened.

Number 2: Writing this blog has been about sharing my mom's wit and wisdom....and my Mom is probably the person most like Nancy Drew, in my mind. My mom knew EVERYTHING that we did and didn't tell her when growing up! Hiding anything from her was simply impossible. This blog (and this story) is also an incredible journey of being real, putting myself out there (not for the sake of anyone else...but rather, for the learning and growth, personally, that's taken place in the process.)

Number 3: It's about living intentionally and listing to one's intuition...something I'm doing more and more of...and it feels soooo good!

Number 4: My mom's away right now and she'll likely never read some of these posts that are written while she's gone to Spain. Or, at least, I hope she doesn't! :)

I feel like I'm 15 years old and Mom's gone out or the evening and we can do whatever we want at home. Eat ice cream. Talk on the phone all night (which was never allowed when she was home). Watch TV. Neglect our homework. Etc.

So...

I went "on line".

Found a dating website that I thought looked more respectable than the others I'd seen. I posted a profile. Found a few photos to upload. Got a close friend to read my profile to make sure that it was really "me"...and waited. It's not my way to go perusing or surfing other people's profiles on any dating site...and besides, it was my feeling that "they would find me".

And then...the stars aligned, the timing must have been perfect...and he found me.

His profile was OK. In is photos he was "hot, hot, HOT!" (That should have been the first red flag thrown on the field.) I ignored my intuition and let the game continue.

We wrote back and forth. Then spoke on the phone. He was lovely. I was infatuated. I thought that God just might have answered my prayers. Granted, we had not even met...but we sure enjoyed the phone conversations we had. There were red flags here and there that I promptly ignored.

It was about time to meet. He was from elsewhere and I was certainly not going to see him. So we decided that he could and should come to meet me. He booked a flight. I was really looking forward to meeting him. Great anticipation. But then, just a few days before he was to arrive, he called and said he had to cancel his flight. Said he was ill. I didn't believe him. Well, most of me didn't believe him. But part of me wanted to believe him...and believe in him.

We continued to chat on the phone now and then for another week or so. By then, the red flags were all over the field. Blown away in the wind when he said he had booked a new flight to town the following week.

I believed him. Sort of.

When he called the day before he was to arrive, to say that he was not coming, I was angry. Upset. Disappointed. Seriously &**&^%% mad! I was with 3 of my sisters when he called. I'm forever grateful to them. They gave me a safe place to do the "ulgy cry" and vent my frustration. Probably, this was one of the lowest points of the past 4 years. My sisters have given me hope (on this and more than one occassion) when I simply didn't have any left.

For reasons I do not know, there was a tiny part of me that got so sucked in by this person, even though all rational thought indicated that I should just forget him. I had to know for sure who he was. Was any of it true. I had no idea.

He sent me a family photo of him with his family. That's who I thought it was of, anyway. But I found out later that it was his previous partner's family. She was from where I was from. Her family was involved in the same industry as my family. By all accounts, we were very, very similar.

Too similar.

I didn't know her name...but mine became Nancy Drew.

I sent an email with the photo to the family business that her family had previously owned, telling the whole truth about who I was, where I was from, why I was contacting her family and that I was "just a girl looking for clarity" and certainly not wishing any harm. Apparently the email went here and there...and ended up in the inbox of his previous partner.

She sent me an email, saying "You sound like a nice person. I'd like to help you." I responded with thanks and gratitude. We ended up speaking for about 30 minutes, not so much about the guy who brought us together but about our hopes, dreams and who we were....

If we ever met, we both said we'd probably be great friends.
And, as friends would do, she helped me find clarity, peace, assurance and validation that my Nancy Drew intuition was correct and that I should listen to it.

She commented on how similar we were. Same age. Same hometown practically. Same family lifestyles and businesses. Same personality traits. Shockingly similar personality traits, actually. Except her hair was blond and mine is brown.

The only other difference. She spent several years being misled by this person, while I only spent a few weeks, thanks to her selfless honesty and willingness to help a stranger.

I'm so grateful to this girl that I've never even met...
I'm also grateful that I read Nancy Drew when I was a kid...and that I identified with that independent spirit...the same spirit my mom nurtured and allowed to grow in me.

No comment as to why I ignored all those red flags....except that I simply wanted to see only the best in others. Wanted to believe only the best in others. And that I wanted to hold on to my dreams.

Thankfully, because of this girl, so similar to me, I remain my hope-filled, faith-filled, dream-filled self, still wanting to see only the best in others, believing only the best in others and still holding on to and holding out for my dreams!

I'm so excited, scared, nervous and happy about the future (and everything in it) that I can hardly contain myself. More than ever before, I have faith that I'm on my right path and, as a friend told me, "I'm going to give this life everything I've got"! Live with abandon. Laugh at myself as much as possible. Beleive in the best of others. And realize the beauty of my dreams...soon...very soon!

For anyone who might be reading this...I hope you believe that you are on your right path, too. Together, lets forget about all the red flags we "should" have seen out there on the field, and instead, lets live with abandon, laugh at ourselves, believe in the best of others and realize the beauty of our dreams!

And Mom...
I hope you never read this!
If you do...I hope you know that you really did teach me well (contrary to what you might be thinking) and I want you to know how glad I am that you got us those Nancy Drew books when we were kids!
:)
love you, Nancy