A lesson in humility and taking responsibility

Mom,
The "May Long Weekend" has just rolled by and the hostel was at it's finest, every bed filled, the yard looking great with flowers galore and a wonderful new team of staff. Every year, this weekend, I am reminded of 3 very lovely girls that came to the hostel 9 years ago (I can't believe it's been 9 years) and wanted to stay. The hostel was full at that time as well but we lived just across the street and I wanted to help these 3 lovely girls - so they put up their tent in our back yard and we strung Christmas lights up so they could see if they had to come inside the house during the night to go to the washroom. Then, when the hostel had space a couple days later, they moved over and stayed there.

These 3 amazing girls; Elizabeth, Flavie and Claudia, ended up working at the hostel...and it was probably one of the best summer's ever! I don't have photos to show (it was before digital) but I can remember this time, as if it were yesterday. You've met these girls years ago when you were here.

It's hard to believe that one idea (pitching a tent in the back yard) led to a ripple effect that lasted years. It probably affected how the hostel even is today b/c that particular summer brought other travelers (who ended up working at the hostel) likely b/c of these 3 girls...Amelie was one of those travelers. She ended up managing the hostel for a year and a half! And then friends of friends and brothers/sisters of all these amazing people would come and work summer after summer!

It's quite incredible how one moment in time can have a huge impact on the future!

Flavie sent me an email yesterday and it amazes me that they would even remember their summer, 9 years ago, let alone keep in touch. I'm so grateful.

It makes me think about the importance of being my best, going out of my way, trying just a little harder, every day.

Yesterday...I was not my best!

I had a lapse in judgement and bit someone's head off. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it was justified, but then again, it's never justified.

The broker that I'm getting the mortgage from (for the new house) has taken since May 16th, 6 days, to deal with his email issues and get paperwork to his lender.

It should not and cannot take 6 days to sort out email issues from a client's perspective.

I had been waiting all week for a firm answer on the financing b/c I signed off on the new house yesterday - without a firm answer from him - b/c he didn't the paperwork to his lender on time.

So...while it's sort of a comedy of errors on his part, this entire process - from the start, I had no right to bite his head off now. I had no right to express my frustration even when he kept making excuse upon excuse, being the victim, never taking responsibility for his part in any of what has happened. That's what really got to me. Whether it was email problems or several other things that had happened, he never took responsibility for all the stuff going on, on his end.

That's what was so frustrating.

And so I bit his head off.

NOT GOOD! NO MATTER WHAT! NEVER DO THAT! I KNOW BETTER!

So...today I am left feeling not so great b/c I shouldn't have expressed my frustration. At the same time, it reminds me even more that, in life, it's up to me to take responsibility for everything in my life. Always. And not play some sort of victim role. If it's in my life, I created it. Email issues are not someone elses issues. They're mine. And I'm responsible.

Mom, you taught us to never play the victim role and to always take responsibility. You also taught us that it was wrong to bite someone's head off, which I now must apologize for!

Today, I humbly look at taking responsibility for everything in my life (after all, I chose to work with this person) and reevaluate and reassess why I allowed my frustration to show, when I clearly knew better.

As I pack boxes and get to work today, I know I would probably have made a number of decisions differently - from who I chose to work with in the first place to how I responded in this situation.

One thing I know for sure: Biting someone's head off is never the answer!
Thanks for this lesson in humility and responsibility!
Today is a new day and an opportunity to do my best, b/c yesterday, clearly was not!

Crystal