Don't give up, dear.

I'm working late tonight.

Yes, I'm working late tonight...mostly because I took the day off today and went snowboarding! On a Monday! Can you believe that? Yay!! I wish I had photos. It was a completely spontaneous thing to do. It's not often that I would say yes. Certainly not last winter or any winter before that. I had work to do then.

But this winter. Wow. I'd certainly say yes much more easily now than ever before. I'm loving this new shift in perspective that actually started 8-10 months ago. Do they call this "progress"? There is still a tiny part of me that isn't sure.

I'm so excited to be living with greater intention, making the important things in life more of a priority and focusing on what really matter to me. But, I also feel some of my work-related projects slow down in pace and production. I'm not getting as much done as I used to or would like. If I used a sport analogy, it feels like I've slowed down my pace and am no longer able to keep up with the fast group. I've now joined the slower group. I'm OK with that when I think about how much more meaningful my life has become over the past year and especially in the past month. However, it is going to take some adjustment.

My heart and spirit are soaring right now and I'm so grateful for that. My mind isn't sharing in the delight quite as much though. I am perplexed.

My mom often said, "Don't give up, dear." when I was struggling or working through something (tangible or intangible) like this.

I remember fixing the lawn mower outside one spring, after it was accidentally left outside (in Saskatchewan, no less). I'd been fiddling with it all afternoon, taking things apart, going to buy gas for it, washing out the spongy thing, putting oil into it, etc. (I love that sort of thing.) At one point, Mom called out through the deck door, "Don't give up, dear." She was always around when you needed her. It was like she had eyes on all sides of her head. Looking back, I am sure she was watching from the kitchen window, making sure I was OK.

I still love a challenge. I love to try to fix things or make things work better. It's not that I'm so stubborn (although, many would beg to differ), but rather, that I want to see if I can do it. It's a personal quest. Like the "no treats or chocolate" thing. I want to see if I can do it. It's not about perfection though, it's about doing my best.

When ever I am struggling with something, for as long as I can remember, I usually hear my mom's voice in my head, saying "Don't give up, dear." It puts me in a great space to enjoy the challenge, whatever it is, rather than getting frustrated. I heard it today as I was snowboarding, falling, wiping out, face-planting, crashing and sliding down the mountain. (It's only my 4th time snowboarding. You can imagine...it was a total comedy of errors.) Tonight I hear it again, as I try to make everything work and fit together in my mind, spirit and heart.

Mom, thank you for what ever you did to make me enjoy a challenge, rather than get frustrated by it. Some of the most challenging things I've done have been with a grin on my face that stretches from ear to ear b/c I'm so happy in that moment. I see photos of my Ironman races and wonder where that big grin comes from. I know it's from you. Mom, this is probably one of the greatest gifts you have given me. This welcomed and almost joyful perspective around challenges has shaped my life in so many wonderful ways. Thank you. I love you.