They're not ours forever.

"They're not ours forever. We only get to take care of them for a while."

In 1996, we took a trip to the local SPCA and were chosen by a feisty bright orange tabby kitten, that we fittingly named Cougar. We loved him and his very assertive personality. He was often found up on the roof of the house or prowling down the block. He would stay out all night and then meow at 4:00am when he wanted to come inside. Naturally, he was often crossing the street and we worried about this. Two years after we brought him home, he did get hit by a car and died. I was back at my mom's in SK for a friend's wedding. Miles, who I was married to at that time, called me to tell me about our cat. I was so sad and so very disappointed that I didn't get to say goodbye...

My mom said something I didn't understand at the time. She said, "They're not yours forever. You just get to take care of them for a while."

Exactly 24 hours later, Miles called again, only to say that a different cat, just a kitten, with exactly the same markings as Cougar(bright orange tabby fur, long tail, white tip on it's tail) had just walked up our front steps, through the door, into the dining area, walking right in front of Miles, passing him to go up to where Cougar always slept, stopping to eat some of the food that had been for Cougar, on his way. Miles was speechless on the phone as he explained that this new cat had just walked past him. He was never one to believe in anything other than fact, so this was shocking to him. I begged him to keep it inside until the next day when I would be returning home. He did. I got home and was dumbfounded at what I saw. It was Cougar - only younger with a much more friendly demeanour. We fed this new kitty, played with him and then knew that we had to open the doors and let him out, so he could return home. He stayed close by for another day. The next day, we were driving by our own house and we noticed a small group of people on the opposite side of the street, gathered together. We slammed on the brakes and I jumped out, running to the group of people, knowing (feeling) that something had happened to the new little kitty.

Our worst fears were true and this little kitty had just been hit by a car. It was heart-wrenching.

I couldn't make any sense of what had happened. Except that when Miles had called to tell me that Cougar had passed away, just two days prior, I begged and pleaded for a "sign" to tell me that Cougar was OK. I needed a chance to say goodbye. When the new kitty, that looked exactly the same, seemed to make his home with us, the very next day, even for just a couple of days, it seemed to be a sign visible enough for me and it was my opportunity to say goodbye. I am still wondering, even now, if it was all real, even though I know it was. I saw things with my own eyes.
In the end, I can only reason that something unexplainable happened, far too much of a coincidence to be one, and, for some reason, it healed my sadness almost instantly.

A few months later, we went back to the SPCA and found Scotia sitting there, in the cage, and I just knew she was coming home with us.

Scotia was adorable. She still is. Twelve years later, Scotia is still here. But I know she's not mine forever. I just get to take care of her for a while. The past couple of weeks, she's been out of sorts and I feel that something is wrong. She's not feeling well and is certainly not herself these days. I know it's not her time to go yet. But it does make me realize that time passes so quickly and it's up to me to make the most of it. It's up to me to celebrate every day, live intentionally and never let something go unsaid or unfinished, because it's rare that we get a second chance to say good bye.


Mom, thank you you for this life lesson about loving, giving and celebrating every day. love Crystal