My mom always knew who my friends were when I was young. I think she liked most of them. She knew their parents. She knew where they lived. And she knew if they were the kind of friend that was good to have.
But, there were a few times when she knew that whoever I was hanging out with was not the kind of friend that was good to have. She'd say, quite bluntly at times, "Be careful who your friends are." I've figured out (Well, I think I have...), decades later, that she assessed whether a friend was good or "not so good" based on one thing. And one thing only. She'd look at my behavior and know instantly if I was hanging in the right crowd - or the wrong crowd. If I was happy - I was with the right friends. But when I got edgy or if I was too consumed with my appearance, easily frustrated, or wouldn't engage in a solid connection with her, she knew I was not on my right path and was then surrounded by the wrong crowd.
Just recently, I've been reminded just how important it is to surround myself with the right kind of people. When I'm working with the right people, work doesn't feel like work. Life is a whole lot more fun. I'm more "myself" and everything works in my life! It all just works! Effortlessly!
As I write this, it is 1:26am. Yes, it really is! I had a full day of work, followed by a visit with my sister who's still visiting and then I went to a leadership course offered through Inside Out Leadership. And, after all that, at 10:00pm, I was back at the hostel painting one of the bedrooms with a few guests/staff b/c we're getting new carpet in it tomorrow. It might be 1:26am but I feel completely energized - because I was surrounded by the right "tribe" all day and night. Of course, I will be tired in the morning, but not 1/2 as tired as I would be if I was surrounded by the wrong tribe.
Wow. It really is that simple. I just need to take a look at my own behaviour, actions, feelings, self-talk...to know if I'm surrounded by the right people. Then, the secret is to honour that awareness.... and find a new tribe if I need to.
One of the best parts of today was spending an hour with my friend and colleague, Melanie. We are planning a retreat that will be held in Mexico from April 24 - May 2, 2010, for 24 women. The Retreat is called "DIVA Retreats". DIVA stands for "Discover your Inner Voice Adventure Retreat"....and it's for women who want to basically discover their inner voice through various activities and adventures. Today we did a bunch of brainstorming, discussing, finalizing details and working on this amazing retreat, together. We will be offering everything from humanitarian projects, yoga, personal development, surfing lessons, outdoor adventures, salsa classes and so much more. We are the kind of friend that's good to have, for one another.
Mom, thank you for helping me to see how important it is to create the right tribe and surround myself with the right people, who see my gifts, vision and are willing to be honest with me and call me on my "stuff" when they need to. love you, Crystal
PS: Even though I didn't thank you years ago, thanks for giving me your opinion and clear direction on that guy (wrong tribe) that I dated in highschool for a short time. You were right. :)
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