My mom believed in the philosophy that everyone is equal. No one is better than anyone else...or less than anyone else. We are all equal, worth only one unit each.
While my mom raised all of us to be very fair, non-judgemental and down-to-earth, it's my little sister that articulated how we are each worth only one unit.
Mom and Gwen are quite alike in many ways and I'm so glad that Gwen and I live out here in Kelowna. We've done a lot of things together over the years, from going to Hawaii for the Ironman last year (where Gwen was the absolute best and loudest person cheering on the sidelines!) to buying paddle boards last summer so we can get out on the lake and go paddle boarding together!
Both Mom and Gwen live intentionally, rarely appearing as if they ever feel insecure or off balance. They seem to fully grasp the concept that we are, each of us, worth one unit, and they don't seem to ever feel "not good enough".
I, on the other hand, have often felt this way over my lifetime. I have had a lot of tough moments b/c of this insecurity. However, at the same time, I also feel blessed b/c this awareness helps me identify and relate to others better, I think. I understand and have empathy for others who are not feeling their best, because I have been there. I believe that there are great blessings and gifts to be discovered in the dark or difficult moments of life. For me, this has been true, at least. The most challenging moments of my life (going through a divorce, starting new businesses and overcoming financial strain are just a few) have been where I really found my strength and learned invaluable wisdom and lessons that have helped me succeed so far in life. The two worst times of my life - my divorce and starting out in business (with no money to spare) have actually been the greatest teachers, making me who I am today.
Even though I have a great deal of faith, during tough times and always, I still feel "not good enough" at times. Sometimes, it's fleeting and only lasts a moment. Other times, this feeling of inadequacy stays around a little while.
Today I had one of those moments of feeling "not good enough" and it's during these moments when I feel a little insecure or unsure, that I remind myself of how my mom and Gwen see life...as though we are, each of us, worth only one unit...never better than or less than anyone else...just equal.
I dedicate today to you, Mom and Gwen...and to what you have taught me...about having faith, about believing that we are all equal and that I am good enough.
Update:
It's been 6 day and I am sugar and chocolate FREE! I feel really really good about this little intentional living commitment to avoid chocolate/treats for the month of January!
My clothing project is near complete! The Salvation Army and The Wardrobe 2nd hand clothing shop will be happy and I feel so much "lighter" with a much-simplified and organized closet!
We are plastic-bag free for the past 2 weeks and loving that commitment to live more intentionally!
Next on the horizon, in the next few days, we will be wrapping up our "90 Day challenge workbook" that didn't quite make my deadline of January 1st and then....Living Intentionally is going to take a huge step right into the middle of my soul...towards my dreams and goals!
Playing my guitar and singing along with dance lessons!
I can hardly wait! I've waited and wished my whole life to play the guitar and learn to sing and dance. If you know me, you know how much I love to dance and...
The time is now!
Mom, I love you. I can't wait to see you in a couple weeks! love Crystal
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